Returning to Christianity

[spiritually inclined]

This is a post I left on another forum altogether. I thought it was also appropriate to post here:

I have always had religious impulses and read religious material, even from childhood, raised in a nonreligious home. That is part of the reason I was attracted to Pentecostalism. I was attracted to church, I had some relatives in the Pentecostal church, so that's where I ended up for 4 1/2 years. After that experience, I've stayed away from religion.

For a long time I have had deep wounds and resentment toward Christianity. Still, I resent those who use Christianity -- and any other religion for that matter -- to exclude and to hate, to reject science and glorify ignorance. Yet slowly, over the last year or so, I've been re-discovering Christianity, perhaps not in the way I did before, but in a new way, on an artistic, symbolic level that I relate to, a Christianity that is relevant to my life and most of all moral values.

First I started sporadically attending services at a Methodist church, where there was a minister named Jack, who has now passed away. He was the first minister to introduce me to a loving faith. God loved me, he told me, even though I am a homosexual. I had never been introduced to such a concept. I remember thinking of this gentle faith while waking up, in a half sleep, and I saw a smiling woman holding out to me a small basin of pure, clean water. Seeing a smiling woman holding out water was different from male dominated, fire and brimstone Pentecostalism.

Eventually I started praying with a rosary and observed Lent. I began to find meaning in the story of Jesus' life again. Recently I even started exploring some themes in the Bible again, though I am far from a literalist or fundamentalist. So I found myself wondering, if bit by bit my spiritual life is starting to reflect Christianity, why do I still cringe at the thought of calling myself one?

I've started attending services at a Episcopalian church, and I love the liturgy and the ritual. And I love the community, a community that can reverently worship and afterwards socialize without gossiping or judging or talking about only religion. Religious feelings and thoughts are intrinsic to my life, yet every day common things are just as meaningful as philosophical and religious exchange. One compliments the other.

I have been reading, searching, and exploring Christianity, particularly Catholicism and Anglicanism, for well over a year, feeling conflicted over how it relates to me and how I relate to it. I think I've finally made up my mind, however. I am not a literalist or fundamentalist, yet the Christian story is a part of me and brings meaning to my life. I will be speaking to a priest tomorrow about baptism. Because there is no record of my previous baptism, and the baptism was not performed in the name of the trinity, I will probably receive another baptism considered valid, or a conditional baptism.

I'm interested in how others have found their way back to Christianity if any of you have similar stories.

Thanks,
James

 

[lunamoth]

I grew up going to an Episcopal church but drifted away after I left home for college. Religion played no part of my life for many years after that, even though I did not have any lingering negative feelings about it. My spirituality gradually awakened during what might be considered a mid-life crisis. I did not feel crisis, just a feeling that I was not living a full life (in spite of having a great career, marriage, etc). I started reading philosophy, but one thing lead to another and I found myself studying religions.

I met a Baha'i and discovered the Baha'i Faith, which has beautiful teachings and little of the baggage one often associates with Christianity. I fell in love with the Baha'i Faith and was a very happy Baha'i for more than four years. But, as I drew deeper into the faith I came into doubt about Baha'u'llah and some of the teachings of Baha'i. As I questioned more I realized that I just could not accept some of those teachings as coming from God. I returned to Christianity, albeit a rather liberal version of it, and have again embraced this way. Reading The Heart of Christianity by Marcus Borg helped me a lot with seeing Christianity anew.

Best wishes in your search James.

 

[athanasius]

This is a post I left on another forum altogether. I thought it was also appropriate to post here:

I have always had religious impulses and read religious material, even from childhood, raised in a nonreligious home. That is part of the reason I was attracted to Pentecostalism. I was attracted to church, I had some relatives in the Pentecostal church, so that's where I ended up for 4 1/2 years. After that experience, I've stayed away from religion.

For a long time I have had deep wounds and resentment toward Christianity. Still, I resent those who use Christianity -- and any other religion for that matter -- to exclude and to hate, to reject science and glorify ignorance. Yet slowly, over the last year or so, I've been re-discovering Christianity, perhaps not in the way I did before, but in a new way, on an artistic, symbolic level that I relate to, a Christianity that is relevant to my life and most of all moral values.

First I started sporadically attending services at a Methodist church, where there was a minister named Jack, who has now passed away. He was the first minister to introduce me to a loving faith. God loved me, he told me, even though I am a homosexual. I had never been introduced to such a concept. I remember thinking of this gentle faith while waking up, in a half sleep, and I saw a smiling woman holding out to me a small basin of pure, clean water. Seeing a smiling woman holding out water was different from male dominated, fire and brimstone Pentecostalism.

Eventually I started praying with a rosary and observed Lent. I began to find meaning in the story of Jesus' life again. Recently I even started exploring some themes in the Bible again, though I am far from a literalist or fundamentalist. So I found myself wondering, if bit by bit my spiritual life is starting to reflect Christianity, why do I still cringe at the thought of calling myself one?

I've started attending services at a Episcopalian church, and I love the liturgy and the ritual. And I love the community, a community that can reverently worship and afterwards socialize without gossiping or judging or talking about only religion. Religious feelings and thoughts are intrinsic to my life, yet every day common things are just as meaningful as philosophical and religious exchange. One compliments the other.

I have been reading, searching, and exploring Christianity, particularly Catholicism and Anglicanism, for well over a year, feeling conflicted over how it relates to me and how I relate to it. I think I've finally made up my mind, however. I am not a literalist or fundamentalist, yet the Christian story is a part of me and brings meaning to my life. I will be speaking to a priest tomorrow about baptism. Because there is no record of my previous baptism, and the baptism was not performed in the name of the trinity, I will probably receive another baptism considered valid, or a conditional baptism.

I'm interested in how others have found their way back to Christianity if any of you have similar stories.

Thanks,
James

God bless you on your journey to Christ Church.