RF Royalty

[Wirey]

Because I live in a country that is part of the Dominion, lately I've been bombarded with images of the Royal Idiots and their impending inbred albino freak (for the record, I'm no fan of the royals). But it got me thinking, as painful as that was. We should have a King and Queen here, as a titular figureheads (titular, tee-hee, that's almost boobies). So I asked myself, what qualities would I look for in a King or Queen for this dump (nothing personal, but there's bacon and monkey hair everywhere).

For a King, we'd need someone who can rule with an iron fist, and is used to spending a lot of time on the throne. Naturally, Badran immediately jumped to mind. That guy spends so much time on the throne his mail is addressed to Kohler.

For a Queen, we'd need someone who looked great in a skirt, and could carry off the whole tiara thing. Did someone say Draka? If we can get her legs shaved (right now I could use them to plane my door) and swap that bathrobe for a purple one, mission accomplished.

Any other nominations? Remember, these people can have your head chopped off, so I'm hoping they hate all of you.

 

[Revoltingest]

I nominate Wirey as royal jester. His humor is inappropriate, but he already wears a motley (traditional jester garb).

 

[9Westy9]

We're going to need guards and soldiers me-thinks

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I wanna play executioner!

 

[Revoltingest]

Could I be the priest?
In my favor:
- I'd look good in vestments.
- I'm completely unqualified, but I have experience at making up scripture.
- I've nothing against witches, black magic or warlocks.
- I can do a stentorian voice.

But if I can't be a priest, I'll apply for groundskeeper or siege engine designer.
-

 

[Revoltingest]

I wanna play executioner!

Granted! (Wirey let me make this appointment.)
Your fetching outfit would be literally "to die for".

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Could I be the priest?
In my favor:
- I'd look good in vestments.
- I'm completely unqualified, but I have experience at making up scripture.
- I've nothing against witches, black magic or warlocks.
- I can do a stentorian voice.

But if I can't be a priest, I'll apply for groundskeeper or siege engine designer.
-

I can't imagine you as anything else but a groundskeeper.

 

[Revoltingest]

I can't imagine you as anything else but a groundskeeper.

I'll bet Wirey can imagine me as a pontiff!
(Long story behind that.)

 

[Wirey]

I'll bet Wirey can imagine me as a pontiff!
(Long story behind that.)

Best. Internet. Day. Ever.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

I nominate iti for a minstrel role.

 

[Draka]

Fear not, my Lady Schick has done the trick.

 

[Iti oj]

I call dibs on something or another.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

I call court astrologer. Means I get paid to lazily glance up.

 

[4consideration]

I want the job with all the perks, but none of the responsibility.

 

[Iti oj]

I call court astrologer. Means I get paid to lazily glance up.

Ok i call court magician.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Ok i call court magician.

I get star-power? Lovecraft eat your heart out.

:sw:

 

[Iti oj]

I get star-power? Lovecraft eat your heart out.

:sw:

What is this mario? Well then shrooms for both of us and i call dibs on the flower. Lol

 

[Gjallarhorn]

What is this mario? Well then shrooms for both of us and i call dibs on the flower. Lol

I was thinking more like:

I guess we'll have to delegate areas of focus. I call sky!

 

[Revoltingest]

I want the job with all the perks, but none of the responsibility.

That would be concubine.

 

[Iti oj]

I was thinking more like:

I guess we'll have to delegate areas of focus. I call sky!

hey he is cool. ok ill focus on people and nature.