Santa...jolly fat man or much, much more sinister?

[standing_on_one_foot]

OK, so someone on here was talking about Santa being Satan or the work of Satan or something like that, but the reality is far more frightening than that. You see, my friends, in truth...Santa Clause is none other that Sauron. Yes, the Base Master of Treachery, the Dark Lord, Lord of Gifts, Lord of Mordor, the Necromancer, the Red Eye, the Ring-maker, the Sorcerer, the Lord of the Rings, call him what you will! Am I the only one to see this?

Let's look at the similarities, shall we?

• having unaproachable strongholds in inhospitable locations (OK, so Barad-Dur isn't at the North Pole, but it's not the first time he's changed locations!)
• controlling 9 flying...servants (reindeer, Nazgul, it's all the same really...Rudolph is the Witch King, I tell you!)
• use of pointy-eared slave labor (I mean, c'mon, we all know that Santa's helpers are corrupted versions of the Elves, hmm?)
• being all-seeing (he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've got the Ring of Power...)
• going around handing out gifts (he's not called the Lord of Gifts for nothing, you know...if you get a ring in your stocking this year, for the love of Eru, don't put it on!)
• being immortal (do I really need to elaborate on this one?)
• having magical powers (one makes huge amounts of toys and flies around the world in one night, the other can turn into a blood-thirsty wolf, snake, vampire, etc. and forge rings with unbelievable powers...isn't the connection ridiculously clear here?)
• and last but not least...look at the names! Santa! Sauron! They both have two syllables and start with the same two letters! Is it not obvious?!!

This little bit of insanity brought to you from the mind of someone who spends entirely too much time thinking about these sorts of things :bonk:...happy holidays, all, whatever you're celebrating

 

[Bastet]

OMG I've been so blind, how could I have missed this?!?!

 

[Watcher]

ROFL....I think I might pee my pants......

Now, that leaves us to wonder, who is the Witch King?
-The Easter Bunny?
-Tooth Fairy????

 

[Circle_One]

*Shifts eyes uneasily* This is Smeagol's stocking. Lord Santa gave us this stocking. Must hide it. No one will take our stocking.

 

[painted wolf]

Wow... it is all so clear to me now...

:biglaugh::woohoo::biglaugh:

wa:do

 

[Doc]

Except Rudolph does not strike fear in the hearts of men and turn good children into corrupted evil wraiths and reindeer! LOL! Interesting connections though. I know Tolkien was a devout Catholic but I am not sure on his view on Santa if he had one.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

*Shifts eyes uneasily* This is Smeagol's stocking. Lord Santa gave us this stocking. Must hide it. No one will take our stocking.

Why? All together now! "It is our prrrreeeeciousssss..."

Being a hobbit by nature (See new, improved title!), I cannot condone any holiday that celebrates Sauron. That means I will have to eat all of my holiday food now.

 

[jewscout]

:biglaugh: Holy poop on a stick Standing!! that's great lmao!

 

[SoulTYPE]

Standing, that has actually removed the thoughts I had about Santa being a pedophile at the mall Please accept my frubals for such a great post.

 

[FyreBrigidIce]

My 4 year old now thinks "Mommy has totally lost her mind" because I am laughing so hard.
Of course, I can not explain to her what I am laughing at because she is too young to understand but the look on her face was priceless.