From what I can see of the evidence, it seems that *life* should be fairly common in the universe. There are a LOT of planets and many are in the 'Goldilocks Zone' for their stars. I am much less convinced that a Jupiter-sized planet is required to protect against asteroids, but even if so, such planets are also in abundance.
From what I can see the *hard* step in life is going from bacterial life (based on simple cells) to eucaryotic life (based on complex cells with organells---essentially mutualism). There is another, *big* step in going from single celled life to multi-cellular life. Both of these steps on Earth took billions of years to achieve.
Finally, and this is a bit more depressing, it seems like *technological* life (say, being able to use radio) is short lived. Let's take our own civilization. We have had radio for a bit over 100 years. Do you really think we will survive another 10,000 years?
And if the average time that a technological species lasts is 10,000 years, the likelihood of *overlap* between two such species in the same galaxy goes way, way down. And that means that the likelihood of *detection* of life on other planets also goes down. This seems like a possible reason why SETI failed.
Another, perhaps even more depressing reason for SETI failing may be the 'dark universe' hypothesis: that life, in order to survive in a competitive universe, learns quickly to be quiet because those civilizations that don't are destroyed quickly.
As for the different possibilities for the strengths of the fundamental forces, we don't know that those strengths *can* be different. We don't know what, if anything, determines their strengths, and we don't know whether there are multiple universes, which would guarantee at least one 'wins the jackpot' even if the probability is low.
In any case, this is *hardly* an argument for the existence of a deity. NOBODY claims that life started from 'random forces' since the laws of nature are NOT RANDOM.