Self Respect

[Pah]

From my email inbox
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2005/456.html

Fostering The Good Within
Self Respect

As youngsters, we learned that one aspect of harmony stems from respecting
those around us. Comprehending the value of respect and the behaviors worthy
of respect, in turn, prepared us to develop a sense of respect for
ourselves. Self-respect is a unique trait because forging it does not
require that we compare ourselves to others and it peacefully coexists with
failure. While it can be simply described as liking yourself the way you
are, the conditions behind that sense of like are complex. Self-respect is a
product of your esteem for yourself and your respect for others. It is an
amalgamation of self-love, confidence, independence, courage, and
responsibility. The Chinese character for "self-respect" means "respecting
your own." Where self-esteem fails us, self-respect is there to help us
maintain crucial peace of mind.

People with strong feelings of respect for their minds and bodies typically
avoid situations that are potentially harmful and they don't compromise
their own beliefs or put themselves down to please others. They accept their
identities, such as businesswoman, father, or baker, without feeling
pressured to become anxious over what they are not. Self-respect means being
able to take responsibility for one's own actions, accepting the
consequences without worrying about the opinions of others. Self-respecting
people have the courage to fix their mistakes. There can be pride in
self-respect, in taking satisfaction in positive accomplishments and
honorable behaviors. It is a form of contentment, yet one that strives
always to reach new heights of goodness, self-control, and caring.

People with self-respect tend to encourage self-respect in others by
reminding them that everyone has value and everyone is deserving of
acceptance. But self-respect is not something taken from others. It is a
wonderful feeling that comes to us when we begin to realize the good within
ourselves.

 

[michel]

I struggle with a bit with the topic of self-respect. proud --1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : [size=-1]CONCEIT[/size] b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship <parental pride>

A certain amount of self-respect is necessary, of course, but a surfeit is even more unhealthy, IMO as the lack of it.

I was surprized to see pride defined as "a reasonable or justifiable self-respect" - because, to me, pride is akin to vanity....... "emptiness, foolish pride. Meaning "self-conceited" is attested from c.1340.

I suppose this is the usual problem that I have with the 'grey space' between the extremes - I am somewhat frightened to go into the 'grey' in case I overshoot.......

This is one of the examples that demonstrates what a wonderful language we have - there is such a huge vocabulary, with small nuances between certain words - hence my obsession with the dictionary.

What a long way of saying "Yes, but in moderation".....

 

[EnhancedSpirit]

I agree Michel, there is a fine line between self-respect and the sin of pride. But when you think about it there is a thin line between all 'good' and 'bad' things. But you must have some self-respect, or you will never be all that you can be.

 

[michel]

I agree Michel, there is a fine line between self-respect and the sin of pride. But when you think about it there is a thin line between all 'good' and 'bad' things. But you must have some self-respect, or you will never be all that you can be.

I do understand that - but, as I said, it is something that 'makes me feel unconfortable' at times.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

People respect you if your actions and words live up to the expections thay have for a" good and worthy Person"
Self respect is the more difficult, as one knows one's own weaknesses and shortcomings. Self respect takes working on.
A very respectable person to others, may have no self respect at all.( he may know he is a swindler with five wives)

Terry
_________________________
Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.

 

[michel]

People respect you if your actions and words live up to the expections thay have for a" good and worthy Person"
Self respect is the more difficult, as one knows one's own weaknesses and shortcomings. Self respect takes working on.
A very respectable person to others, may have no self respect at all.( he may know he is a swindler with five wives)

Terry
_________________________
Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.

Ah, but there you go again, how do you define a "good and worthy Person"? - even that is very subjective; I might look at you and say "There goes a good and worthy person", (and you do not have five wives or are a swindler) - but you still consider yourself to be below the standard that you see as being what you ought to be.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

Ah, but there you go again, how do you define a "good and worthy Person"? - even that is very subjective; I might look at you and say "There goes a good and worthy person", (and you do not have five wives or are a swindler) - but you still consider yourself to be below the standard that you see as being what you ought to be.

That is right. other peoples opinions of you always lack information about you and they make Judgments on what they see.
You on the other hand probably know your faults better then the good things about you.
because guilt would bring faults to your attention.
Some of course simply don' t care and probably only worry about being found out.

Terry
_______________________________
Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.

 

[EnhancedSpirit]

Guilt is an ugly, ugly thing. It's guilt that makes you feel unworthy of respect. Especially any self acknowledgement of worth.

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY. Forgiveness of oneself is somethimes the most difficult forgiveness to muster up. Just remember that forgiveness is realizing that the past CAN NOT be changed. And accepting the fact that under any set of circumstances, you have always done what you thought was best, even if for only a selfish moment, for your own well-being and happiness.

 

[michel]

Guilt is an ugly, ugly thing. It's guilt that makes you feel unworthy of respect. Especially any self acknowledgement of worth.

FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY. Forgiveness of oneself is somethimes the most difficult forgiveness to muster up. Just remember that forgiveness is realizing that the past CAN NOT be changed. And accepting the fact that under any set of circumstances, you have always done what you thought was best, even if for only a selfish moment, for your own well-being and happiness.

Ah, forgiveveness of oneself.....that I do have problems with! I know the theory, but puting it into practice whilst having a knee jerk learned behaviour reaction is a bit difficult.