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So My Best Friend Thinks I Have An Eating Disorder

Nietzsche

The Last Prussian
Premium Member
Since there are only two eating disorders which seem to fit what she's describing she must mean either Anorexia or Bulimia. Well, I checked the symptoms of both and couldn't find me there.

She thinks:

- I don't eat enough. But the thing is that she comes from a family that eats loads. Pretty much everyone in her family is overweight. I have never eaten a great deal, I'm only small and I'm a vegan. I come from the opposite type of family that was pretty strict with eating habits and snacking was watched closely. We had to ask if we could have a kitkat or whatever just after school, because we knew we always had dinner at five.So, I don't eat a great deal perhaps compared to most people but I definitely eat. I also don't take breakfast. Never have.

- I exercise excessively. I walk the 2 miles into town and back about once or twice a week for my appointments. That's it.

- I drink coffee and tea to suppress appetite. I have been known to, but this is mostly to combat snacking and because I have a caffeine addiction. I don't do it to miss meals, which I apparently told her I did, which I don't remember saying.

- I obsessively count calories in food. I don't know where she gets this from as I have to admit I don't even know what a calorie is. I know you get energy from them. That's about it. I've never counted a damn calorie in my life. I don't give a f.

- I'm underweight. I weight 47 kg / 7 and a half stone / around 103 lbs. So I think I'm fine, but others may think differently.

Here is what Wiki says are signs and symptoms of Anorexia:

I'll bold the ones I have.

  • Refusal to maintain a normal body mass index
  • Amenorrhea, a symptom that occurs after prolonged weight loss; causes menses to stop, hair becomes brittle, and skin becomes yellow and unhealthy.
  • Fear of even the slightest weight gain; taking all precautionary measures to avoid weight gain or becoming overweight[18]
  • Obvious, rapid, dramatic weight loss to at least 15% under normal body weight[19]
  • Lanugo: soft, fine hair growing on the face and body[16]
  • Obsession with calories and fat content of food
  • Preoccupation with food, recipes, or cooking; may cook elaborate dinners for others, but not eat the food themselves
  • Food restriction despite being underweight
  • Food rituals, such as cutting food into tiny pieces, refusing to eat around others, hiding or discarding food
  • Purging: May use laxatives, diet pills, ipecac syrup, or water pills; may engage in self-induced vomiting; may run to the bathroom after eating in order to vomit and quickly get rid of ingested calories
  • Excessive exercise[20] including micro-exercising, for example making small persistent movements of fingers or toes.[21]
  • Perception of self as overweight despite being told by others they are too thin
  • Intolerance to cold and frequent complaints of being cold; body temperature may lower (hypothermia) in an effort to conserve energy[22]
  • Hypotension or orthostatic hypotension
  • Bradycardia or tachycardia
  • Depression
  • Solitude: may avoid friends and family; becomes withdrawn and secretive
  • Abdominal distension
  • Halitosis (from vomiting or starvation-induced ketosis)
  • Dry hair and skin, as well as hair thinning
  • Chronic fatigue[18]
  • Rapid mood swings
:rolleyes:

I also fast occasionally.

But she is really insistent that I have an E.D. and it's winding me up no end. I went to bed at eight last night and it was the only thing on my mind.

Go to the doctor and find out. Worst-case scenario? They're right. Most likely? Nothing wrong, and that should shut them up.
 

The Emperor of Mankind

Currently the galaxy's spookiest paraplegic
Since there are only two eating disorders which seem to fit what she's describing she must mean either Anorexia or Bulimia. Well, I checked the symptoms of both and couldn't find me there.

She thinks:

- I don't eat enough. But the thing is that she comes from a family that eats loads. Pretty much everyone in her family is overweight. I have never eaten a great deal, I'm only small and I'm a vegan. I come from the opposite type of family that was pretty strict with eating habits and snacking was watched closely. We had to ask if we could have a kitkat or whatever just after school, because we knew we always had dinner at five.So, I don't eat a great deal perhaps compared to most people but I definitely eat. I also don't take breakfast. Never have.

- I exercise excessively. I walk the 2 miles into town and back about once or twice a week for my appointments. That's it.

- I drink coffee and tea to suppress appetite. I have been known to, but this is mostly to combat snacking and because I have a caffeine addiction. I don't do it to miss meals, which I apparently told her I did, which I don't remember saying.

- I obsessively count calories in food. I don't know where she gets this from as I have to admit I don't even know what a calorie is. I know you get energy from them. That's about it. I've never counted a damn calorie in my life. I don't give a f.

- I'm underweight. I weight 47 kg / 7 and a half stone / around 103 lbs. So I think I'm fine, but others may think differently.

Here is what Wiki says are signs and symptoms of Anorexia:

I'll bold the ones I have.

  • Refusal to maintain a normal body mass index
  • Amenorrhea, a symptom that occurs after prolonged weight loss; causes menses to stop, hair becomes brittle, and skin becomes yellow and unhealthy.
  • Fear of even the slightest weight gain; taking all precautionary measures to avoid weight gain or becoming overweight[18]
  • Obvious, rapid, dramatic weight loss to at least 15% under normal body weight[19]
  • Lanugo: soft, fine hair growing on the face and body[16]
  • Obsession with calories and fat content of food
  • Preoccupation with food, recipes, or cooking; may cook elaborate dinners for others, but not eat the food themselves
  • Food restriction despite being underweight
  • Food rituals, such as cutting food into tiny pieces, refusing to eat around others, hiding or discarding food
  • Purging: May use laxatives, diet pills, ipecac syrup, or water pills; may engage in self-induced vomiting; may run to the bathroom after eating in order to vomit and quickly get rid of ingested calories
  • Excessive exercise[20] including micro-exercising, for example making small persistent movements of fingers or toes.[21]
  • Perception of self as overweight despite being told by others they are too thin
  • Intolerance to cold and frequent complaints of being cold; body temperature may lower (hypothermia) in an effort to conserve energy[22]
  • Hypotension or orthostatic hypotension
  • Bradycardia or tachycardia
  • Depression
  • Solitude: may avoid friends and family; becomes withdrawn and secretive
  • Abdominal distension
  • Halitosis (from vomiting or starvation-induced ketosis)
  • Dry hair and skin, as well as hair thinning
  • Chronic fatigue[18]
  • Rapid mood swings
:rolleyes:

I also fast occasionally.

But she is really insistent that I have an E.D. and it's winding me up no end. I went to bed at eight last night and it was the only thing on my mind.

Sounds like you're just underweight. We've talked about this and you know I'm pretty close to where you are in terms of body-mass index even if I can highlight a few more of these than you. I'm not bulimic or anorexic either.
 

illykitty

RF's pet cat
You may be a bit underweight, but that doesn't mean much, in my opinion. Just like someone might be a bit overweight and still be healthy. To me health is a lot more important than weight and it seems to be your philosophy as well. I find it silly how some people fixate on the size/weight...

I feel your pain though, my family is like your friend. Most are overweight or obese, so they think I was tiny at my lowest point. Now they think I'm slim, although I am close to being overweight. So I sympathise with you. To be honest, I am not sure what one can say to stop it. Just try to reason with her, tell her your focus is on health and that you appreciate her concern but you are fine.
 

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
I come from the opposite type of family that was pretty strict with eating habits and snacking was watched closely. .. I exercise excessively. .. I don't do it to miss meals, ..
Don't know why your family was so restrictive about food. You are definitely underweight (you already know that). I too was never fat in my life, and always healthy (73 now), but my doctor brother says that thin people do not have any reserve to fight a disease. The minimum is around 140 lbs. Would you like to change from Veganism, not that I have anything against it? Breakfast is supposed to be a must after so many hours without food. Walking 4 miles once or twice in a week is not exercise. I too love tea and coffee. You don't do it to miss meals but it definitely hampers good eating. Perhaps you can reduce on it.
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Don't know why your family was so restrictive about food. You are definitely underweight (you already know that). I too was never fat in my life, and always healthy (73 now), but my doctor brother says that thin people do not have any reserve to fight a disease. The minimum is around 140 lbs. Would you like to change from Veganism, not that I have anything against it? Breakfast is supposed to be a must after so many hours without food. Walking 4 miles once or twice in a week is not exercise. I too love tea and coffee. You don't do it to miss meals but it definitely hampers good eating. Perhaps you can reduce on it.
They weren't restrictive, they were just conscious of what we ate to make sure we were healthy. We were limited in our intake of super sugary foods and such. It was rather sensible in my opinion. Also no, I'm not giving up veganism.

No, I never said I exercise excessively, that's what my friend thinks.

And I also don't drink that much tea or coffee. Say three cups a day. That's nothing imo.
 

illykitty

RF's pet cat
They weren't restrictive, they were just conscious of what we ate to make sure we were healthy. We were limited in our intake of super sugary foods and such. It was rather sensible in my opinion. Also no, I'm not giving up veganism.

No, I never said I exercise excessively, that's what my friend thinks.

And I also don't drink that much tea or coffee. Say three cups a day. That's nothing imo.

It's funny how people react so much to healthy eating, as if that's the extreme. Eating unhealthy however, seems normal and accepted in the US, Canada and UK. I had some funny reactions going vegan.

I wonder where she got the idea that you exercise too much? What is she basing this on?

And I drink about 4 cups of tea per day and my appetite is definitely not small! :joycat: I imagine one would need to drink loads of it to suppress. Like some people at my husband's workplace. They have about 8 cups!!!
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
It's funny how people react so much to healthy eating, as if that's the extreme. Eating unhealthy however, seems normal and accepted in the US, Canada and UK. I had some funny reactions going vegan.

I wonder where she got the idea that you exercise too much? What is she basing this on?

And I drink about 4 cups of tea per day and my appetite is definitely not small! :joycat: I imagine one would need to drink loads of it to suppress. Like some people at my husband's workplace. They have about 8 cups!!!
I have no idea what she's basing this on lol. She walks just as much as I do. I basically walk to a place if I know I can. I love walking. It clears the mind and works wonders for the body.

I do buy in the kids' clothes sections pretty much all the time, but this is because I much prefer the styles and I can fit into them, plus they're less expensive because there's no VAT. Where's the harm of it? She also buys occasionally in the kids' clothes if she can fit, so she's no right to call me out on that.

She is also a lacto-vegetarian (last I heard), so she can't comment on that either.

So, I dunno. She just seems to think I'm too skinny and that I don't eat enough, plus I exercise too much. But even if I did, that's hardly going headfirst into anorexia, or even an eating disorder in general.
 

columbus

yawn <ignore> yawn
I can sympathize, in a way.
I grew up decades ago. Nobody talked about eating disorders when you were thin, barely when you were heavy.

When I was 15 I was 6' 3" tall and weighed 135#. I looked like a scarecrow. For most of my adulthood I was close to 6' 5" and my normal weight was around 150#. But it certainly was not because I didn't eat. I was a huge eater, and I liked solid food. I wanted my bread, meat, and potatoes. I wanted my vegetables and raw salads and cheese. I ate tons of food and didn't particularly care for sweets and desserts.

I was just active and had the metabolism of a hummingbird.

You do seem especially light for your height. People with that sort of disorder are, of course, the last to know. So asking for the opinion of an informed but objective person seems like a good idea to me. If you go talk to a doctor, are point blank honest with her, and she says yes you are fine, then great. You are just out there on the extreme of healthy body mass. But I would ask someone like that, just to be sure. You really are out at the edge of healthy, based on what you said, in my utterly nonprofessional opinion. :)
Tom
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
She hasn't Skyped or text me all day today and pretty much none of yesterday. I hope this isn't going to be a dealbreaker.
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Well, that is really sad, I mean putting a friendship on hold for something so silly. o_O
She contacted me yesterday and said she had a stomach bug. Not sure how that stopped her from messaging me...
 
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