Some say I'm a backslider

[stvdv]

I am not in need of a psychiatrist, and people should take responsibility for what they say to others and how their words are perceived. If I am misunderstanding someone it is polite to clear that up, and based on what was said I think it is humane and intelligent to be polite.

I agree. Only a few I meet agree with this though. Most claim "freedom of speech" rather than responsibility for the effect of their words on others.

 

[stvdv]

I am not in need of a psychiatrist

Just to avoid any misunderstanding "I did not say nor imply that you would need a psychiatrist".
Me mentioning psychiatrist was in the context "I need not be a psychiatrist to know that words have impact and consequences"

 

[Trackdayguy]

Just to avoid any misunderstanding "I did not say nor imply that you would need a psychiatrist".
Me mentioning psychiatrist was in the context "I need not be a psychiatrist to know that words have impact and consequences"

I agree of course they do, we are all responsible for the words we speak and the attitudes we have. But surely its my decision whether or not I let the words and action of others have a negative effect on me. The only time when the words and attitudes of others can hurt us is when we give them permission.

How can I be responsible for how other people respond? I cant because I have no way of knowing what filters people have.

 

[stvdv]

I agree of course they do, we are all responsible for the words we speak and the attitudes we have. But surely its my decision whether or not I let the words and action of others have a negative effect on me. The only time when the words and attitudes of others can hurt us is when we give them permission.

How can I be responsible for how other people respond? I cant because I have no way of knowing what filters people have.

Thanks. You are completely right. Important to understand that we can stand above "negativity" spoken by others.
And good information "being aware all people listen/speak using their own personal filters".

You might be surprised how many people don't feel responsible for their words and impact thereof on others. I was at least surprised when I discovered this [I once was told quite bluntly "I am free to say/do what I like, if I hurt your feelings, that is your problem, deal with it.....".]. Maybe I got so many of these people on my path, because I still had not learned the lesson.

And definitely I deal with it now, finally. And very simple: "NOCONTACT" lifelong verdict.

So now I don't have those around anymore. This was my "life lesson". Took quite awhile before I learned this one though. In the process I now know from my own experience that "it is very difficult to change some emotional patterns". So I don't expect others to change, and definitely don't hold my breath waiting for it.

 

[Trackdayguy]

Thanks. You are completely right. Important to understand that we can stand above "negativity" spoken by others.
And good information "being aware all people listen/speak using their own personal filters".

You might be surprised how many people don't feel responsible for their words and impact thereof on others. I was at least surprised when I discovered this [I once was told quite bluntly "I am free to say/do what I like, if I hurt your feelings, that is your problem, deal with it.....".]. Maybe I got so many of these people on my path, because I still had not learned the lesson.

And definitely I deal with it now, finally. And very simple: "NOCONTACT" lifelong verdict.

So now I don't have those around anymore. This was my "life lesson". Took quite awhile before I learned this one though. In the process I now know from my own experience that "it is very difficult to change some emotional patterns". So I don't expect others to change, and definitely don't hold my breath waiting for it.

Great post, it also took me some time to start taking responsibility for my actions, attitudes and words, blame shifting seems very popular. I usually tell my new clients day 1, "Get toxic, abusive and gossipers out of your life" Hurt people hurt other people, then they become blamers, shamers all empowered by a victim spirit and un- forgiveness. Now I'm preaching........

Have a good day

 

[stvdv]

Great post, it also took me some time to start taking responsibility for my actions, attitudes and words, blame shifting seems very popular. I usually tell my new clients day 1, "Get toxic, abusive and gossipers out of your life" Hurt people hurt other people, then they become blamers, shamers all empowered by a victim spirit and un- forgiveness. Now I'm preaching........
Have a good day

This is also a very good line. If one understands this it's way easier to deal with it. Very good you tell this in day 1 to clients. I just discovered this 1 year ago that people hurt others because they were hurt AND didn't solve the problem at the place of origin (mostly the parents sofar as I have seen with people). I was so amazed that they blamed me, while they were so obviously wrong. I was just perplexed. I am "wired" to always think first "what did I do wrong". Thanks to this insight I start to "unwire" slowly. Life gets so easy now. So much more peaceful.

Some say DNA forms us a lot. I dare say "this emotional stuff" forms us much more. Changing DNA is not easy, but changing this "stuff" also not.

If yours is preaching it can't be that bad, because I am very sensitive to preaching, more like allergic and I love yours .
I love good 1-liners like this. Useful information to solve emotional trauma's. I'm grateful if you share them now and then.

To use one of your other 1-liners "It works for me"

I wish us all a good day on RF