some thoughts...

[ayani]

over the past couple weeks, i have been grappling with issues of faith. my faith had been put entirely in meditation on a specific Verse- and interestingly, in letting go of some of that attachment to meaning, i have been able to understand exactly *how* that Verse is true, and why. i'm keeping a kind of journal these days, and i'd like to share some thoughts...

from my journal:

what does the heart desire? i believe, to be recognized, shared, uplifted, listened to. deep within us is a great longing for meaning, for understanding, and for peace. all faiths recognize this, and go about different though remarkably similar ways of responding.

i am reminded of the acronym used by one Catholic nun: J.O.Y. Jesus, others, yourself, and was touched by the simple yet, to my ears, profoundly true sentiment there. to have joy is to have an awareness of God's reality, a sacred mindfulness of others, and the humility and peace of heart to respond to and intertwine these relationships. it means giving the best of your heart, in the image of God, to others, and allowing them to do the same.

from a letter to a friend, a pratitioner of Sant Mat:

i am also reflecting of the quote from the main Sant Santani page : "God is One, and He can be found within." i believe that this is true- that we can access and be aware of that of God within us, as a means of communing with Him and seeking out and responding to that of Him in others. something that always delights me is to listen to two or more people who are sincerely and freely enjoying one another's company. the topic might be cricket, their love life, a film they've seen, but the joy of selfless connection with another person is clear. when we can give our hearts, the best of ourselves, to others, we experience joy and recognition. it is perhaps connected to the joy of communion with God in prayer or meditation. if God is found within, He is also found in surrender to others, in friendship, and in recognition. the heart longs for that connection, i think. deep feelings of alienation, self-consciousness, or fear seem to be due to a frustration of that understanding.

 

[Ben Dhyan]

I thought of you so often,
that I finally became you.
Little by little you drew nearer,
Slowly but slowly I passed away.
-A Sufi Master

 

[ayani]

that is beautiful, ben... so many faiths (or all, really) speak of Unity, and this must be a part of what they are getting at. the image of the lover and the Beloved come up again and again, and the unity of joy, intimacy, and refuge between two lovers seems an apt analogy.

our hearts are restless- i think that when we return to the question of "restless for what" and stay with that longing, answers will come.

 

[Ben Dhyan]

Yes ayani, it conveys the same beautiful theme as the one of Saint Augustine,...You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.
The only antidote for the restless heart of the mystic is union with the Beloved. That 'our hearts are restless' is a corollary of thinking we are apart from our beloved. The expression 'my Father and I are one' implies an unambiguous Oneness present in apparent duality,... therefore the concept of there being real separation is an error,...and one that Jesus is trying to elucidate in his teaching. Since we mortals reflect in our thinking processes, the dualistic attributes of 'the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil', the mystery of 'what' and 'who' we really are will only be revealed to those who yearn for true understanding beyond all else, and then only through long-suffering and 'staying with the longing' until the very end.

Though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream, and
that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are.
Jalaluddin Rumi

 

[ayani]

ben ~

exactly! there is also great suffering when one is disconnected from others, whether through fear, anxiety, or hate. all of these things cause suffering to both parties, as they prevent us from knowing one another- if God is within myself, He is also within my neighbor, and this, i believe, is the mystical reason we crave intimacy and communication- our hearts are restless for God, and for one another as well. this is why love, friendship, and spontaneity feel so darn *good*- one is free of the self, and is responding from one's inner ability to recognize and embrace, to unite with the other.

and you are right about that longing.... when we are in doubt, i think it is best to return to that source of longing, to try to identify where it is coming from, and what it longs for. and there is nothing, nothing wrong with starting over as many times as one has to.