Spanking Kids in Kansas

[Saint Frankenstein]

I have noticed for a long time people who don't have kids of their own tend to be 110% against "spanking"...I think it is an interesting subject.

I'm against it because I was hit as a kid (with multiple implements and in more than one area) and I remember how it felt...I've also seen multiple kids get whacked in my presence by trashy "mothers" and I feel their pain and fear. I don't think children should have to go through that.

 

[Sees]

No you haven't. Lots of people without kids think they should be smacked around. Psychoslice doesn't have kids (a confident guess), and he's all for it. Father Heathen also defends corporal punishment regularly, and had no kids or plans to have kids. Mystic has a busload of kids, and is entirely against it. My mother and grandmother are both against it, having been raised to believe in it and realized on their own that corporal punishment is child abuse, and terrible advice.

If you think the line between "people who want to hit kids" and "people who don't believe in hitting kids" is as simple as having or not having them, you have not been paying attention at all.

You're also disregarding the fact that a good chunk of us who are totally intolerant of violence toward children are TEACHERS. We handle dozens of kids at a time without the need for violence. IME, most teachers are much, much better with kids than most parents. Parents should be asking us for advice, not telling us how to handle kids.

I agree many teachers are much better with kids, breeding isn't controlled while raising kids is almost a lost art. Typical parents don't really focus much on children and let teachers or big brother take care of the important stuff.

 

[Sees]

I'm against it because I was hit as a kid (with multiple implements and in more than one area) and I remember how it felt...I've also seen multiple kids get whacked in my presence by trashy "mothers" and I feel their pain and fear. I don't think children should have to go through that.

Sorry to hear bro, I know the type of parents you are talking about and it is a sad situation.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I agree many teachers are much better with kids, breeding isn't controlled while raising kids is almost a lost art. Typical parents don't really focus much on children and let teachers or big brother take care of the important stuff.

Ideally, parents and teachers work together for the best interest of the child. I know teachers are often the scapegoat when things don't go well, but I also know parents are often unaware of a child's strengths and weaknesses in their education unless they are extremely involved in the kid's education anyway. So, IMO the best relationship is one where teacher(s) and parent(s) are in consistent communication with each other. One doesn't usurp the authority of the other in their respective roles and influences on the child.

As a parent and as a teacher, I understand I can't do everything. My kids in class and my own kiddos at home do much better when I work with the other part of the team.

 

[Sees]

Ideally, parents and teachers work together for the best interest of the child. I know teachers are often the scapegoat when things don't go well, but I also know parents are often unaware of a child's strengths and weaknesses in their education unless they are extremely involved in the kid's education anyway. So, IMO the best relationship is one where teacher(s) and parent(s) are in consistent communication with each other. One doesn't usurp the authority of the other in their respective roles and influences on the child.

As a parent and as a teacher, I understand I can't do everything. My kids in class and my own kiddos at home do much better when I work with the other part of the team.

That is wise

I like teachers even though we homeschool. Confuses many people. I think one of the most important persons in someone's life is often a great teacher. It would be great if child development courses were also a requirement for parents.

 

[Willamena]

But the context is the same. In both instances, violence is used to punish someone who is annoying you in the hope that pain and fear will alter their behavior. It's completely irrational to support hitting children when you're annoyed with them but not adults.

I will never understand the enthusiasm many otherwise intelligent people have for hitting children, even when they understand it is wrong to hit other adults. Quite disturbing, really.

The different context is the difference.

 

[Alceste]

The different context is the difference.

And the difference is what? That one can not fight back and the other can? That one can leave if she doesn't like being hit and the other can not? And because of this difference, it's actually BETTER to beat the one who can not fight back or leave to escape the abuse?

 

[beenie]

Ok everybody with one or more children raise their hands

Raises hand six times.

I have noticed for a long time people who don't have kids of their own tend to be 110% against "spanking"...I think it is an interesting subject.

Interesting. I have six, and I'm firmly against physical punishment for my children (and for all children). It's a copout to strike a child, and is a result of frustration.

Breastfeeding is interesting too

My wife's 3 sisters all used formula pretty much right away

Exclusively breastfed all six. I was a lucky one there. Formula has its place for some moms, I don't judge, as it doesn't psychologically harm a child. Spanking, however...

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Raises hand six times.



Interesting. I have six, and I'm firmly against physical punishment for my children (and for all children). It's a copout to strike a child, and is a result of frustration.



Exclusively breastfed all six. I was a lucky one there. Formula has its place for some moms, I don't judge, as it doesn't psychologically harm a child. Spanking, however...

Well see, Shireen, it must be genetics due to your kids being good and not needing a spanking. No wait, that's a little bit racist...

Or maybe because they're all girls. No wait, that's a little bit sexist...

Or maybe because you're omnipotent?

I dunno. It can't be because physical punishment can be problematic. It's as necessary as the air our kids breathe, the water they drink, the sleep they get, and the food they eat. Amirite?

 

[beenie]

Well see, Shireen, it must be genetics due to your kids being good and not needing a spanking. No wait, that's a little bit racist...

Or maybe because they're all girls. No wait, that's a little bit sexist...

Or maybe because you're omnipotent?

I dunno. It can't be because physical punishment can be problematic. It's as necessary as the air our kids breathe, the water they drink, the sleep they get, and the food they eat. Amirite?

Yeah it's gotta be one of those... it can't be our ability to reason with these little critters with compassion and good ol' common sense!

 

[Thana]

Within reason, I think it's a good idea.
I think a lot of problem kids come from parents who spare them the rod.

A good spanking does a lot of good, imo.

In an ideal world I'd promote it, But of course, There are people who will take it too far and cross over into abuse. I think it's a personal decision, And I won't abuse my kids, But I'll definitely get out the dreaded wooden spoon when I think it's appropriate.

 

[Alceste]

Within reason, I think it's a good idea.
I think a lot of problem kids come from parents who spare them the rod.

A good spanking does a lot of good, imo.

In an ideal world I'd promote it, But of course, There are people who will take it too far and cross over into abuse. I think it's a personal decision, And I won't abuse my kids, But I'll definitely get out the dreaded wooden spoon when I think it's appropriate.

Yeah, smacking your kids with a kitchen implement? That's abuse. Why not just tell them to stop doing whatever it is you don't want them doing, or give them something else to do? Kids don't need to hate and fear you to want to please you. It's innate.

 

[beenie]

Within reason, I think it's a good idea.
I think a lot of problem kids come from parents who spare them the rod.

A good spanking does a lot of good, imo.

How very archaic is that? The whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" argument went away with the dodo.

In an ideal world I'd promote it, But of course, There are people who will take it too far and cross over into abuse.

Am I reading this correctly? In an ideal world you would promote physical violence against children? Can you explain to me how to draw the line between your ideal world of spanking with a wooden spoon and child abuse? I'm failing to see the difference.

I think it's a personal decision, And I won't abuse my kids, But I'll definitely get out the dreaded wooden spoon when I think it's appropriate.

Personal decision for whom? I'm sure your kid has a say in whether you smack him or not?

A wooden spoon? As if your own hand isn't bad enough? Seriously, what is wrong with people who think using weapons on their kids is ever a good/acceptable idea?

 

[Drolefille]

How very archaic is that? The whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" argument went away with the dodo.

I wish it had. It's very much alive in some conservative Christian parenting... philosophies. I'll be nice with my word choice.

 

[Sunstone]

Neither one of my brothers spank their kids -- and their kids are turning out pretty good. Very far from being miscreants.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

the European countries that stopped corporal punishment fist now have the best behaved children. Much the same goes for the death penalty for adults.
Even prison has never been shown to do more than take people off the street. Some countries even have weekend only prisons.

 

[beenie]

I just cannot for the life of me understand how, if my husband hit me anywhere on my body with a wooden spoon or a paddle (as schools did), he could be imprisoned--yet using the same wooden spoon on a CHILD would be considered "discipline" by parents/adults?

Where in the hell is the logic behind that?

 

[Alceste]

I just cannot for the life of me understand how, if my husband hit me anywhere on my body with a wooden spoon or a paddle (as schools did), he could be imprisoned--yet using the same wooden spoon on a CHILD would be considered "discipline" by parents/adults?

Where in the hell is the logic behind that?

Most people, I'm sorry to say, are not particularly logical. The advocates of child abuse are generally people who were abused themselves and carry on the tradition to honour their parents. The rationalizations for it are extremely weak, as we can see in this thread, but that is how we tend to justify all our actions and impulses when we feel disinclined to change for the better.

 

[Drolefille]

Most people, I'm sorry to say, are not particularly logical. The advocates of child abuse are generally people who were abused themselves and carry on the tradition to honour their parents. The rationalizations for it are extremely weak, as we can see in this thread, but that is how we tend to justify all our actions and impulses when we feel disinclined to change for the better.

Back in my day....
It was good enough for my parents....
We survived....
Etc.

Something constant throughout history is that every generation sees their ways as better and the next generation's ways as irresponsible and likely to destroy everything.

 

[kashmir]

Just going off the idea of spanking in general.
Nothing in the history of our existence shows that physical punishment is affective to teach anything other than "damn that hurts"
Physical punishment is nothing short of just causing fear of the abuser.
As children, when my cousin was bad, got a huge *** whopping.
His father even put a cigarette out on his stomach, held it there, my cousin still has a scar, right after his dad was done and left, my cousin lit up another smoke.

A lot of my friends got huge *** whippings and that only thing that did was cause fear of their parents.
They still continued to do the same exact things they were punished for.

take biblical days, they had some very screwed up methods of punishment, most to suppress, from what I gather, it did nothing but cause fear.

Education is the best method of teaching anything.