I don't think these terms are mutually exclusive and in my view religion includes the esoteric and internal stuff. So you could argue that being religious includes being spiritual.
Yes, of course religion can include the spiritual, but often times does not. I think the problem here is the use of the word religion itself.
To clarify, I made a brief summary a while back of the ways the word religion is used by people from the work of the philosopher Ken Wilber in his book
A Sociable God. The designations of R1, R2, R3, etc., is helpful to know more clearly of how we are speaking of religion:
1. Religion as non-rational engagement:
- Deals with the non-rational aspects of existence such as faith, grace, etc.
2. Religion as meaningful or integrative engagement:
- A functional activity of seeking meaning, truth, integration, stability, etc.
3. Religion as an immortality project:
- A wishful, defensive, compensatory belief in order to assuage anxiety and fear
4. Religion as evolutionary growth:
- A more sophisticated concept that views history and evolution as a process towards self-realization, finding not so much an integration of current levels, but higher structures of truth towards a God-Realized Adaptation.
5. Religion as fixation and regression:
- A standard primitivization theory: religion is childish, illusion, myth.
6. Exoteric religion
- The outward aspects, belief systems to support faith. A non-esoteric religion. A potential predecessor to esoteric religion.
7. Esoteric religion
- The inward aspects of religious practices, either culminating in, or having a goal of mystical experience.
8. Legitimate religion:
- A system which provides meaningful integration of any given worldview or level. A legitimate supporting structure which allows productive functionality on that level, horizontally. The myth systems of the past can be called "legitimate" for their abilities to integrate. A crisis of legitimacy occurs when the symbols fail to integrate. This describes the failure of a myth's legitimacy we saw occur with the emergence of a new level of our conscious minds in the Enlightenment. Civil religion is one example of an attempt to provide legitimacy to this level, following the failure of the old legitimate system.
9. Authentic religion
- The relative degree of actual transformation delivered by a religion or worldview. This is on a vertical scale providing a means of reaching a higher level, as opposed to integrating the present level on a horizontal scale. It provides a means to transformation to higher levels, as opposed to integration of a present one.
When I was saying religion is external, I was pointing to R6, exoteric religion, which I believe is why SBNR is a thing. Because religion in the West, has predominantly become R6, with very little to no R7, esoteric or spirituality to it. If you are talking of religion in the East, those tend to be much more R7 oriented. SBNRs are IMO, trying to find the esoteric on the menu of religion, but are finding only R6.
In reality, when one moves into the esoteric aspects of religion, the spirituality part of it, eventually religion itself becomes a hindrance to it. As the Christian mystic Meister Eckhart prayed in paradoxical language, "I pray God make me free of God that I may know God is his unconditioned being".
As you see, the form, is like scaffolding on the building to help support the work being done on it. But at some point, the scaffolding is not the building itself. Religion that is predominantly exoteric, misses its core function. It's about establishing external forms, not about developing internal spiritual growth which leads to self-actualization.
SBNR is a response to that, like a plant pushing its way up through concrete. "Life finds a way"
Is that a good thing? I suppose, since suffocation is not an option. But would a good structure be helpful? Yes, ideally so. But in the absence of that....