Sunstone's intervention

[lewisnotmiller]

So, I know there have been lots of whispers at the water cooler. 'Something needs to be done', I hear. 'Why doesn't someone take action?', the question is raised. 'Won't someone think of the children?'

It took me a while to realise I was the only one AT the water cooler, and I was rambling to myself, but once I did, I had an epiphany. If something was going to be done, it would have to be by me.
So I've decided to start this thread, in the somewhat optimistic hope that we can intervene, and basically just show @Sunstone the errors of his ways.

Of course, there are so very MANY errors, it becomes difficult to know where to start. So I'm throwing it open to you all, his dearest friends, and occasional backstabbers (sometimes all at the same time).

State the despicable, digusting, or otherwise unhelpful aspect of his many faceted personality we need to exorcise. Even better, let us all know your cunning plan for exorcising it. We'll all help. Promise. After all, it's to the benefit of us all.

 

[Sunstone]

Are you absolutely certain, Dave, those whispers you heard at the water cooler wasn't you telepathically communicating with my two ex-wives? Don't get me wrong. I don't believe in telepathy, but I do believe you could put it off.

Beyond that, this is really about that time I told your wife where you'd been all weekend, isn't it?

I just knew there would be payback for that, I just knew you wouldn't understand how I was merely trying to help you, but I had to tell her. It was the only moral thing to do. How else would the woman who loves you know you need help?

I mean, really, a whole weekend at @Mock Turtle's with a bible, a donkey, a schoolgirl outfit, and a midget? And all you could say about it to me was that it was "a brotherly bonding experience with Mock"? Dave! Who really needs intervention here?

 

[Terese]

Dave you're so brave for speaking out the truth! Vanquish the demon that is Sunstone!

 

[Rival]

Hahaha yes. I got away with it again. They all think it's Sunstone.

 

[Sunstone]

Hahaha yes. I got away with it again. They all think it's Sunstone.

I'm beginning to rue the day we met, Rival. That's the last time I ask a perfect stranger on the internet for nude selfies. The payback is just too much. From now on, I've got to know them for an hour or two -- come to appreciate them as a person.

 

[Sunstone]

Dave you're so brave for speaking out the truth! Vanquish the demon that is Sunstone!

Demon? You're confusing me with the name of the cocktail I drink, "Sunstone's Demon Juice and Hair Tonic". Three parts tiger's milk, two parts vodka, and a shot of insufferable arrogance -- drink it with pride!

 

[Sakeenah]

Please continue, I'm just here for the show.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Okay, my turn.
So... I'll put this as gently as I can, Phil. I understand that as a man gets older, he wants to tweak his look. A little nip here, a tuck there.

But it seems like you've transformed overnight from a shaggy maned king of beasts to some sort of blue...err...mythical thing.

I spoke to some friends of mine about you, although you'll be pleased to know I left your name out, and generally removed any facts that would allow them to identify you. Actually, to be safe, I pretty much removed ALL facts.

I asked them what they'd think if a giant figure in a community, an older, but still vibrant mind, made a drastic change in his personal appearance seemingly overnight.

They figured he was trying to land himself a younger lady. Or man. Or perhaps a particularly fetching goat. They went further, suggesting that they knew a fetching goat who was available, but I assured them it quite possibly wasn't a goat-related makeover (PM me, though!).

After that, they lost interest, would you believe?

 

[Sunstone]

Or perhaps a particularly fetching goat. They went further, suggesting that they knew a fetching goat...

I'm shocked, Dave. Utterly shocked! I regard the groundless allegation that I might be sexually interested in anything as difficult to communicate with and appreciate as a person as a goat to be purely scurrilous. Nothing could be further from the truth! Why, the very thought that I could find some way or manner to romantically interact with a goat is ridiculous

Latex, Dave. Think latex love dolls!




Um...Dave, did they say how much the goat would cost? Asking for a friend.

 

[Terese]

I'm shocked, Dave. Utterly shocked! I regard the groundless allegation that I might be sexually interested in anything as difficult to communicate with and appreciate as a person as a goat to be purely scurrilous. Nothing could be further from the truth! Why, the very thought that I could find some way or manner to romantically interact with a goat is ridiculous

Latex, Dave. Think latex love dolls!




Um...Dave, did they say how much the goat would cost? Asking for a friend.

Think bigger! Latex goat love dolls! An untapped market just waiting to be plundered!

 

[sun rise]

Phil? Dave? What's behind the knowledge of and using of true names?

 

[Sunstone]

Phil? Dave? What's behind the knowledge of and using of true names?

Shadow Chat, mostly.

 

[sun rise]

Shadow Chat, mostly.

Ask a silly question get a serious answer? What is RF coming to?

 

[Subduction Zone]

Think bigger! Latex goat love dolls! An untapped market just waiting to be plundered!

What do you mean "untapped"?

 

[Sunstone]

Ask a silly question get a serious answer? What is RF coming to?

Ok. ok. If you're going to insufferably press me for the truth, fine! But can you handle the truth? We'll see!

Dave and I met one summer when we both happened to join the same nude sky diving club at the same time in order to pick up babes willing to go down with us.. At first, we didn't say much to each other besides such commonplace things as "Hello", "Hope your day's going well", and "Let's party".

Then one day we made a jump together along with six other people. Unfortunately, my chute wouldn't open. In desperation, I grabbed the nearest sky diver to me, who happened to be Dave. But to the horror of both of us, I was only able to grab a certain appendage of his. Nevertheless, I clung for life to it, an experience that proved traumatic for both of us, and that resulted in years of therapy afterwards for PTSD.

On the way down, I cried out to him: "What's your name?"

"DAMN!", he replied, along with a string of other words.

"Dave?", I said, "Dave Fucleoff?", not quite hearing him correctly.

And that's how we got to know each other.

I swear this is the way I remember it, although Dave himself might have different memories of the event. Such as true memories.

 

[sun rise]

Ok. ok. If you're going to insufferably press me for the truth, fine! But can you handle the truth? We'll see!

Dave and I met one summer when we both happened to join the same nude sky diving club at the same time in order to pick up babes willing to go down with us.. At first, we didn't say much to each other besides such commonplace things as "Hello", "Hope your day's going well", and "Let's party".

Then one day we made a jump together along with six other people. Unfortunately, my chute wouldn't open. In desperation, I grabbed the nearest sky diver to me, who happened to be Dave. But to the horror of both of us, I was only able to grab a certain appendage of his. Nevertheless, I clung for life to it, an experience that proved traumatic for both of us, and that resulted in years of therapy afterwards for PTSD.

On the way down, I cried out to him: "What's your name?"

"DAMN!", he replied, along with a string of other words.

"Dave?", I said, "Dave Fucleoff?", not quite hearing him correctly.

And that's how we got to know each other.

I swear this is the way I remember it, although Dave himself might have different memories of the event. Such as true memories.

I marked the post optimistic because even if it is a false memory, it's true to you and thus is true at some level. It's also true that I've never sky dove (dived?) and now I know it was not fear of chute not opening but of grabbing the wrong person when it did. Now if I were only a member of your religion's church, I would have made sure that I was sky diving with carefully chosen companions rather than the somewhat random event that happened to you and resulted in what we see today.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Phil? Dave? What's behind the knowledge of and using of true names?

It's all about demon worship. By using his true name, I can command him.
Watch this...

Dance like no one is watching, Phil!

See?

 

[Sunstone]

Dance like no one is watching, Phil!

But Dave, you're almost always watching. I can see you with your binoculars right now.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

But Dave, you're almost always watching. I can see you with your binoculars right now.

That's certainly not me. No sirree. No way. That handsome gentleman stalking you is wearing khaki trousers, chosen for maximum camouflage, whereas I am wearing...err...bright red! Yes, that's it. Bright red, since I have no need of blending it to that large shrub near your window.