Talking about people after they've died

[Stevicus]

MSN

www.msn.com

While reading stories about Paul Reubens' recent passing, it has been noticed that some are bringing up his past charges as a sex offender. There were also some recent deaths involving Jerry Lee Lewis, Jerry Lewis, and Hugh Hefner who also had histories of sexual abuse or other sexual misconduct.

The article asks the question as to how long people should wait until they start bringing up negative information about someone who has died.

Often mentions of these moments erupt in controversy, which is not surprising. After someone dies, fans often turn on those who try to disparage them.

Experts say no timeline exists for when it's OK to talk negatively about someone after they die. Rather, they say, a celebrity's alleged misdeeds as well as how they died may impact the appropriateness of various responses.

Take comedy icon Lewis or Hugh Hefner. Both died in 2017 at age 91, but their names have popped up well after their deaths. Several of Lewis' female former co-stars accused him of sexual harassment and punitive behavior in an article last year in Vanity Fair. And Hefner's former girlfriends, Playmates and employees alleged a culture of abuse in A&E's documentary series "Secrets of Playboy."

More than enough time has passed to allow for a closer examination of these stars, Robert Thompson, founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at the Newhouse School of Public Communications Syracuse University, previously told USA TODAY.

In fact, these conversations may have happened a lot sooner if these stars died today.

"There did used to be a sense that there was this almost sacred space after someone had died," Thompson says. "You didn't say anything bad at their funeral and you waited a certain time before you said something bad thereafter. That included your uncle, and it included celebrities."

The internet and social media altered the way people communicate. Newspaper editors and heads of television stations previously called the shots on what was appropriate to talk about. Now? Individuals speak freely, online, whenever they want.

"The lines of 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' grief expressions, public conversations about their lives on social media – both positive and negative – and time limits, are immediately blurred and often unacknowledged," Melvin L. Williams, associate professor of communication studies at Pace University, also previously told USA TODAY.

Different cases call for different responses after someone dies, of course, including how someone died.

Our collective raised consciousness – which has grown in the last decade in tandem with the rise of social media – only accelerated further due to the #MeToo movement. Many stories never discussed before, particularly about prominent men and their abuses of power, suddenly saw the light of day.

"I don't think there will be any time period after, let's say, Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby die," Thompson says. "They will be open season for that kind of thing. We already saw it with Jeffrey Epstein. Nobody was waiting to be polite to Jeffrey Epstein until X number of time had passed."

I've heard of previous superstitions about speaking ill of the dead, that it would be bring bad luck or something.

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died? Does it matter?

For those who are religious, what does your religion say about it?

Thoughts?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died?

Not necessarily. I mean that in the general sense.

Does it matter?

To me, it doesn't really matter, provided the negative info is valid. If it isn't valid, and they post it though - yes, it can be considered in poor taste, almost like they are showing false dirt on a person.

 

[Subduction Zone]

At least try to be accurate in what the charges are and why it was settled the way that it was. Was it wrong? Yes. Was it full fledged child porn? That is debatable. In an era of videos a few pictures may not qualify. The prosecutor made a deal on lesser charges.

 

[exchemist]

MSN

www.msn.com

While reading stories about Paul Reubens' recent passing, it has been noticed that some are bringing up his past charges as a sex offender. There were also some recent deaths involving Jerry Lee Lewis, Jerry Lewis, and Hugh Hefner who also had histories of sexual abuse or other sexual misconduct.

The article asks the question as to how long people should wait until they start bringing up negative information about someone who has died.




I've heard of previous superstitions about speaking ill of the dead, that it would be bring bad luck or something.

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died? Does it matter?

For those who are religious, what does your religion say about it?

Thoughts?

I don't think there are any rules, really, but it seems to me that some consideration should be given to the feelings of friends and family of someone who has just died - unless the deceased really was, without question, an 88mm self-propelled arsehole, in which case no quarter can be expected.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

At least try to be accurate in what the charges are and why it was settled the way that it was. Was it wrong? Yes. Was it full fledged child porn? That is debatable. In an era of videos a few pictures may not qualify. The prosecutor made a deal on lesser charges.

Well said, in my opinion. I have, however, encountered individuals who intentionally speak ill of the dead in order to incite disagreement and debate. And despite the fact that their negative remarks about a deceased person are refuted and often corrected, they willfully ignore the refutation or correction and continue to speak negatively about the individual whenever his or her name is mentioned in conversation. It's clear to me that they want to stir up conflict.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

I've heard of previous superstitions about speaking ill of the dead, that it would be bring bad luck or something.

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died? Does it matter?

For those who are religious, what does your religion say about it?

Thoughts?

As a spiritualist, I have specific beliefs about the dead, so I don't normally speak ill of people who have died, especially those of whom I'm aware tried to make amends for their mistakes while they were still alive. I can't speak for anyone else, but it matters to me. I feel that if someone tries to make amends for their mistakes and seek forgiveness prior to their death, then I believe that this should be honored after their passing. Of course, this is what I believe.

 

[Twilight Hue]

MSN

www.msn.com

While reading stories about Paul Reubens' recent passing, it has been noticed that some are bringing up his past charges as a sex offender. There were also some recent deaths involving Jerry Lee Lewis, Jerry Lewis, and Hugh Hefner who also had histories of sexual abuse or other sexual misconduct.

The article asks the question as to how long people should wait until they start bringing up negative information about someone who has died.




I've heard of previous superstitions about speaking ill of the dead, that it would be bring bad luck or something.

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died? Does it matter?

For those who are religious, what does your religion say about it?

Thoughts?

Sex offender?

It's children he drooled over. Little kids.

Screw him.

 

[Orbit]

I am reminded of the Dine (Navajo) tradition of not speaking the name of a deceased person because it calls up their spirit. Don't ask me why. I had a friend die this weekend and have been thinking about these things.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I am reminded of the Dine (Navajo) tradition of not speaking the name of a deceased person because it calls up their spirit. Don't ask me why. I had a friend die this weekend and have been thinking about these things.

There are broadly similar beliefs here amongst the Aboriginals, and you'll somewhat commonly see disclaimers at the start of Australian shows which are going to name or depict ages of deceased Aboriginals.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

There are broadly similar beliefs here amongst the Aboriginals, and you'll somewhat commonly see disclaimers at the start of Australian shows which are going to name or depict ages of deceased Aboriginals.

And your society doesn't imolode on itself amd then violently explode due to the softies, weaklings, amd general fostering of snowflakes?

 

[LuisDantas]

I never quite understood why the dead are owed more respect than the living.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

MSN

www.msn.com

While reading stories about Paul Reubens' recent passing, it has been noticed that some are bringing up his past charges as a sex offender. There were also some recent deaths involving Jerry Lee Lewis, Jerry Lewis, and Hugh Hefner who also had histories of sexual abuse or other sexual misconduct.

The article asks the question as to how long people should wait until they start bringing up negative information about someone who has died.




I've heard of previous superstitions about speaking ill of the dead, that it would be bring bad luck or something.

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died? Does it matter?

For those who are religious, what does your religion say about it?

Thoughts?

If we are dealing with known information, I don't see what difference it makes if one is alive or dead. If you have been convicted of a sexual offence, and you're still alive, it is something that -- I'm sorry -- is open for public dialogue. So, what changes just because you died? Did your abuse of the alter boy, your rape of the little girl, suddenly vanish? I don't think so.

 

[Orbit]

I never quite understood why the dead are owed more respect than the living.

It's because of the living people that survived them, whose memories and emotions surrounding the matter are very sensitive. It's not for the dead, imo.

 

[syo]

MSN

www.msn.com

While reading stories about Paul Reubens' recent passing, it has been noticed that some are bringing up his past charges as a sex offender. There were also some recent deaths involving Jerry Lee Lewis, Jerry Lewis, and Hugh Hefner who also had histories of sexual abuse or other sexual misconduct.

The article asks the question as to how long people should wait until they start bringing up negative information about someone who has died.




I've heard of previous superstitions about speaking ill of the dead, that it would be bring bad luck or something.

Should there be a period of mourning before someone can appropriately speak negatively of someone who died? Does it matter?

For those who are religious, what does your religion say about it?

Thoughts?

Do I wanna hear??? No. I don't care at all.

 

[Stevicus]

Do I wanna hear??? No. I don't care at all.

Okay. I'll definitely keep that in mind the next time I post something.

 

[syo]

Okay. I'll definitely keep that in mind the next time I post something.

You misunderstood. If someone has a problem with a dead person, do I wanna hear it???

 

[Father Heathen]

It reminds me of how many Americans deify the founding fathers and get super offended if anyone openly acknowledges or draws attention to their flaws, failings, misdeeds, etc.