Temporarily Out Of Order

[JustGeorge]

It's been a rough week.

Some may know, some may not, I am a homemaker, home schooler, and mother to three boys(14, 7, and 2), two of whom are autistic to differing degrees.

I like what I do. Homeschooling has been new for us, but for the most part has been a joy. Being a homemaker is a challenge in a time that doesn't always appreciate the role, but its been something I feel called to do. But this week has been something else. I am feeling... burned out.

The middle child has been on an 'up tick' in energy, reverting to behaviors we haven't seen in a long time, all in the hopes of 'getting a rise out of you'. The eldest lost a relative recently, and is upset about that, and is going through pandemic fatigue. He has throw a few child like temper tantrums recently, which we haven't seen in awhile, either. I suspect everyone is feeding off of each other, figuratively.

I believe the weather has come into play. At one point, when things got too 'spirited' we could go for a walk, visit the lake, drive to a park out of town. But winter's set in, and we're home bound. We used to walk daily, but its now too cold for that most days. I think everyone's a bit stir crazy.

And I'm burned out. I am fatigued, though not physically tired. I am getting agitated, and everything feels like a lot more work than it really is. I am not depressed, really... I just feel like a kid who's pent up and needs to go out for recess, but recess never comes.

I've tried looking up things to do for burnout, but all I can find is things related to careers, and its not applicable in my case. There is no time to 'clock out'. Kids go to bed when I do(autistic kids often have sleep trouble, I'm happy mine do sleep, even if it is late), and I have to get them up shortly after I get up, or they'll never go to bed). I'm not going to be able to take a vacation, or delegate tasks to other people. Things that seem to help other people relax have never been things I enjoy(relaxing with music, bubble baths, journaling, etc). I have no "close friend who I can confide in"(seems to be a popular recommendation). So, now what?

I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

 

[Rival]

Have you tried just digging a massive hole somewhere? For no reason other than the sake of digging a massive hole.

Listen to ambient scenes? A lot of Victorian and Mediaeval ambience on YouTube.

Have a housewide clean out?

Cuddle a soft toy?

 

[Salty Booger]

I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

If you can make time for yourself to exhale, take it. A slow walk at a local park to burn some negative energy might be a good start.

 

[JustGeorge]

Have you tried just digging a massive hole somewhere? For no reason other than the sake of digging a massive hole.



Cuddle a soft toy?

Those two ideas together...maybe if I can find time, I should go into the yard with the dogs. They dig holes all over the place... it sounds silly, but maybe I should join them. Sometimes I do find joy in playing with animals like I am an animal too.... And while they're always surprised at first, they do seem to appreciate it....

If you can make time for yourself to exhale, take it. A slow walk at a local park to burn some negative energy might be a good start.

I'd really enjoy that right now.

 

[Dawnofhope]

I found meeting social needs through the use of virtual platforms like zoom helped during our lockdown.

 

[Salty Booger]

I'd really enjoy that right now

You have to make time for yourself to release pent up energy. If you can direct it through a constructive path, all that much better.

Photo by Rotem Kuperman from Pexels

 

[JustGeorge]

You have to make time for yourself to release pent up energy. If you can direct it through a constructive path, all that much better.

Yeah, its difficult though, because whatever I do has to be compatible with having kids in tow.

I actually tried to bring out my drawing materials yesterday(I haven't tried to be artistic in years), and it wasn't long before I remembered why I stopped. Its disheartening when you have to get up every few minutes, or little fingers steal your pencils.

The gym picture's appropriate. Pre-pandemic we had a family gym membership, and it was good for everyone. Work out for mom, socialization for eldest and youngest, and something to occupy the time of the middle. Dad even got to go in the event he had an evening off... We miss our gym.

 

[Rye_P]

You're one great mother

For the children: Maybe cooking something simple with them? Like dessert?. I've taking care a kid with special needs once, and one of our favourite things to do is cooking or baking. We searched the menu together, so it will suit his taste.

For the mother: And it might sounds weird, but try to watch horror movies when you got some free time? I don't really know why, but I always feel better after watching em. But suit the genre with your preferences.

 

[Salty Booger]

Yeah, its difficult though, because whatever I do has to be compatible with having kids in tow.

I actually tried to bring out my drawing materials yesterday(I haven't tried to be artistic in years), and it wasn't long before I remembered why I stopped. Its disheartening when you have to get up every few minutes, or little fingers steal your pencils.

The gym picture's appropriate. Pre-pandemic we had a family gym membership, and it was good for everyone. Work out for mom, socialization for eldest and youngest, and something to occupy the time of the middle. Dad even got to go in the event he had an evening off... We miss our gym.

I suggest the walk in the park and a group art project--sidewalk chalk. Weather permitting, of course.

 

[SomeRandom]

Find a playlist of soothing noises/music.
Go out and get a massage. Go to a spa with some friends.
Read a book. Take a walk. To have “you time” is often essential.

 

[exchemist]

It's been a rough week.

Some may know, some may not, I am a homemaker, home schooler, and mother to three boys(14, 7, and 2), two of whom are autistic to differing degrees.

I like what I do. Homeschooling has been new for us, but for the most part has been a joy. Being a homemaker is a challenge in a time that doesn't always appreciate the role, but its been something I feel called to do. But this week has been something else. I am feeling... burned out.

The middle child has been on an 'up tick' in energy, reverting to behaviors we haven't seen in a long time, all in the hopes of 'getting a rise out of you'. The eldest lost a relative recently, and is upset about that, and is going through pandemic fatigue. He has throw a few child like temper tantrums recently, which we haven't seen in awhile, either. I suspect everyone is feeding off of each other, figuratively.

I believe the weather has come into play. At one point, when things got too 'spirited' we could go for a walk, visit the lake, drive to a park out of town. But winter's set in, and we're home bound. We used to walk daily, but its now too cold for that most days. I think everyone's a bit stir crazy.

And I'm burned out. I am fatigued, though not physically tired. I am getting agitated, and everything feels like a lot more work than it really is. I am not depressed, really... I just feel like a kid who's pent up and needs to go out for recess, but recess never comes.

I've tried looking up things to do for burnout, but all I can find is things related to careers, and its not applicable in my case. There is no time to 'clock out'. Kids go to bed when I do(autistic kids often have sleep trouble, I'm happy mine do sleep, even if it is late), and I have to get them up shortly after I get up, or they'll never go to bed). I'm not going to be able to take a vacation, or delegate tasks to other people. Things that seem to help other people relax have never been things I enjoy(relaxing with music, bubble baths, journaling, etc). I have no "close friend who I can confide in"(seems to be a popular recommendation). So, now what?

I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

It sounds tough.

Normally I would suggest gardening (physical, attention to small things, sense of satisfaction when a task is completed, no other people involved to complicate things). I do this even in winter as there is always some tidying to do to prepare for spring. But given where you are, I expect everything is frozen solid or under snow or something. However if you are mentally but not physically tired I would recommend something to tire you physically a bit. I have always found that it is when there is an imbalance in tiredness between mind and body that I feel particularly lousy. If you are stuck in the house I suppose it might have to be exercises in your bedroom, if possible. Or sawing logs for the fire or something?

 

[Aupmanyav]

Is there an institution which can help with your children, so that you get some time for yourself to relax? IMHO, you need such institutional help. Managing all of it yourself is difficult. In India, one can leave children with grandmothers and grandfathers. That is the purpose of life for old people here (like my wife and myself).

 

[SalixIncendium]

It's been a rough week.

Some may know, some may not, I am a homemaker, home schooler, and mother to three boys(14, 7, and 2), two of whom are autistic to differing degrees.

I like what I do. Homeschooling has been new for us, but for the most part has been a joy. Being a homemaker is a challenge in a time that doesn't always appreciate the role, but its been something I feel called to do. But this week has been something else. I am feeling... burned out.

The middle child has been on an 'up tick' in energy, reverting to behaviors we haven't seen in a long time, all in the hopes of 'getting a rise out of you'. The eldest lost a relative recently, and is upset about that, and is going through pandemic fatigue. He has throw a few child like temper tantrums recently, which we haven't seen in awhile, either. I suspect everyone is feeding off of each other, figuratively.

I believe the weather has come into play. At one point, when things got too 'spirited' we could go for a walk, visit the lake, drive to a park out of town. But winter's set in, and we're home bound. We used to walk daily, but its now too cold for that most days. I think everyone's a bit stir crazy.

And I'm burned out. I am fatigued, though not physically tired. I am getting agitated, and everything feels like a lot more work than it really is. I am not depressed, really... I just feel like a kid who's pent up and needs to go out for recess, but recess never comes.

I've tried looking up things to do for burnout, but all I can find is things related to careers, and its not applicable in my case. There is no time to 'clock out'. Kids go to bed when I do(autistic kids often have sleep trouble, I'm happy mine do sleep, even if it is late), and I have to get them up shortly after I get up, or they'll never go to bed). I'm not going to be able to take a vacation, or delegate tasks to other people. Things that seem to help other people relax have never been things I enjoy(relaxing with music, bubble baths, journaling, etc). I have no "close friend who I can confide in"(seems to be a popular recommendation). So, now what?

I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

Bring temple to you. Set up a shrine in your home and hold pujas, meditate, or do whatever you did when you visited temple.

Perhaps visit with the elderly relatives you speak of via FaceTime or Zoom.

In any case, burnout, in my experience, isn't something that just goes away. In order to avert the symptoms, one needs to affect change, however subtle this may be. Perhaps a 10 minute bath, or even change the aroma in the home (I've found sage incense or smudge to be quite effective).

Anyway, hang in there. The pandemic won't last forever. Change will come regardless.

 

[ChristineM]

It's been a rough week.

Some may know, some may not, I am a homemaker, home schooler, and mother to three boys(14, 7, and 2), two of whom are autistic to differing degrees.

I like what I do. Homeschooling has been new for us, but for the most part has been a joy. Being a homemaker is a challenge in a time that doesn't always appreciate the role, but its been something I feel called to do. But this week has been something else. I am feeling... burned out.

The middle child has been on an 'up tick' in energy, reverting to behaviors we haven't seen in a long time, all in the hopes of 'getting a rise out of you'. The eldest lost a relative recently, and is upset about that, and is going through pandemic fatigue. He has throw a few child like temper tantrums recently, which we haven't seen in awhile, either. I suspect everyone is feeding off of each other, figuratively.

I believe the weather has come into play. At one point, when things got too 'spirited' we could go for a walk, visit the lake, drive to a park out of town. But winter's set in, and we're home bound. We used to walk daily, but its now too cold for that most days. I think everyone's a bit stir crazy.

And I'm burned out. I am fatigued, though not physically tired. I am getting agitated, and everything feels like a lot more work than it really is. I am not depressed, really... I just feel like a kid who's pent up and needs to go out for recess, but recess never comes.

I've tried looking up things to do for burnout, but all I can find is things related to careers, and its not applicable in my case. There is no time to 'clock out'. Kids go to bed when I do(autistic kids often have sleep trouble, I'm happy mine do sleep, even if it is late), and I have to get them up shortly after I get up, or they'll never go to bed). I'm not going to be able to take a vacation, or delegate tasks to other people. Things that seem to help other people relax have never been things I enjoy(relaxing with music, bubble baths, journaling, etc). I have no "close friend who I can confide in"(seems to be a popular recommendation). So, now what?

I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

Im not quite in the same situation, we have 3 kids at school, I'm (a little older) but the pandemic has caused its moments here too. Two lockdowns, we are just coming out of the second, which want as restrictive in that the kids could still go to school

It's cold hear too, hovering around 0c (32f) but when things get on top of me i wrap up warm with 3 or 4 layers of clothing, (pretty usual for this time of year anyway), a thick coat and warm boots, then head for the hills. We are in a forested area so just getting into the trees, finding a stump, log or comfortable root to sit on and absorb nature, the atmosphere, the sounds, until the cold really makes itself felt works wonders for me.

Experiments in cooking takes my mind away from the strife and into another direction.

I speak to relatives via phone or messenger quite often.

I bit of DIY, we are currently re-decorating a bathroom in small steps. Following that will be a bedroom.

What else??? Simply screaming "SHUT UP" when they are particularly noisy is a wonderful way to release tension, ir may not work but you'll probably feel better


Edit: my brother in law has just bought a pinch bag from Amazon. It works for him and far cheaper then throwing the remote at the TV

 

[Father Heathen]

As the father of a non-verbal autistic boy 8 days shy of 5 years and the spiritual incarnation of the Tasmanian devil, I feel ya.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

It's been a rough week. ...

... I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

Sorry, I have nothing to give other than a sincere

thank you for being you.​

 

[Vinayaka]

It's been a rough week.

Some may know, some may not, I am a homemaker, home schooler, and mother to three boys(14, 7, and 2), two of whom are autistic to differing degrees.

I like what I do. Homeschooling has been new for us, but for the most part has been a joy. Being a homemaker is a challenge in a time that doesn't always appreciate the role, but its been something I feel called to do. But this week has been something else. I am feeling... burned out.

The middle child has been on an 'up tick' in energy, reverting to behaviors we haven't seen in a long time, all in the hopes of 'getting a rise out of you'. The eldest lost a relative recently, and is upset about that, and is going through pandemic fatigue. He has throw a few child like temper tantrums recently, which we haven't seen in awhile, either. I suspect everyone is feeding off of each other, figuratively.

I believe the weather has come into play. At one point, when things got too 'spirited' we could go for a walk, visit the lake, drive to a park out of town. But winter's set in, and we're home bound. We used to walk daily, but its now too cold for that most days. I think everyone's a bit stir crazy.

And I'm burned out. I am fatigued, though not physically tired. I am getting agitated, and everything feels like a lot more work than it really is. I am not depressed, really... I just feel like a kid who's pent up and needs to go out for recess, but recess never comes.

I've tried looking up things to do for burnout, but all I can find is things related to careers, and its not applicable in my case. There is no time to 'clock out'. Kids go to bed when I do(autistic kids often have sleep trouble, I'm happy mine do sleep, even if it is late), and I have to get them up shortly after I get up, or they'll never go to bed). I'm not going to be able to take a vacation, or delegate tasks to other people. Things that seem to help other people relax have never been things I enjoy(relaxing with music, bubble baths, journaling, etc). I have no "close friend who I can confide in"(seems to be a popular recommendation). So, now what?

I know it will pass, and its temporary. But, my normal coping mechanisms have all been removed(visit the temple, go and see elderly relatives, visit a restaurant out of town, etc) due to pandemic. Hoping some of the creative folks on here might have some new ideas.

Parenting is tough. Fortunately the good outweighs the bad. We raised 5 children, and there were times that burnout was right at the forefront. I worked a demanding job, and Boss (an affectionate term) took care of the house and the kids a lot more than I was able to. I'd come home to hectic, some kid had had a problem in school, and she was totally overwhelmed, as was I. Some days were no fun at all, and I feel for you.

One thing we did was just go to a local park, and take as many kids as wanted to come along, and sit on the bench and watch them go for it. In winter it was a tobogganing hill. We'd try to just watch. Another thing we'd do was order out.... usually a cheap local pizza place. That gave her a break from cooking for one night. Eating out wasn't really an option, as that was chaos, even in the drive to and from.

Best wishes. May the Lord of Obstacles, He Who has One Tusk, guide your way.

PS ... You could play this in the background.

 

[Revoltingest]

A walk among the hostas will alleviate most ills.

 

[Secret Chief]

Bring temple to you. Set up a shrine in your home and hold pujas, meditate, or do whatever you did when you visited temple.

Perhaps visit with the elderly relatives you speak of via FaceTime or Zoom.

In any case, burnout, in my experience, isn't something that just goes away. In order to avert the symptoms, one needs to affect change, however subtle this may be. Perhaps a 10 minute bath, or even change the aroma in the home (I've found sage incense or smudge to be quite effective).

Anyway, hang in there. The pandemic won't last forever. Change will come regardless.

These are my recommendations too.

 

[Sunstone]

@JustGeorge, In recent months, I've been passing out this wonderful alarm clock to all my stressed out friends and family members. The clock wakes you up by imitating the rising sun, and comes complete with a few nature sounds you can add to your 'wake up call'. I get nothing but positive reviews of it. In fact, the last time I was this popular with my friends and family was that year I gave out vibrators to everyone.

By the way, shop around -- several vendors sell this thing, and you can save money by shopping around for the best value.