Ten Reasons to Be Against Gay Marriage

[Moey]

Food for thought...
1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Careful! If you use the word "gay" too much, you might become homosexual!

Or just overly happy...

 

[BFD_Zayl]

you had me worried there for a second, lol.

 

[doppelganger]

These are all really just one reason: "Being gay is icky!" The other ten are just variations on that one.

 

[Nanda]

Wow, you've completely changed my mind on this subject! I'm going to go join the Westboro Baptist Church right now!

 

[BFD_Zayl]

Wow, you've completely changed my mind on this subject! I'm going to go join the Westboro Baptist Church right now!

crap, might as well be a Nazi while your at it..oh yeah, they're the same thing, heh heh.

 

[Hema]

:bounce EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! What a wicked cute avatar! EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bounce

**talking to self** "Gab a hold of yourself Hema, people are watching and expecting you to contribute towards the thread"

**clearing throat**

I was also worried for a second. I read the first line and thought - oh no, one of the Mods is going to get this soon! Then I read the whole thing and realized how funny the whole thing is! Thanks for the laughs! Me giveth frubalos. :yes:

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Dang I thought this was about something else.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I was also worried for a second. I read the first line and thought - oh no, one of the Mods is going to get this soon!

I was also thinking this....looks like I dropped in for nothing.

I do think that is a good list though.

 

[standing_alone]

These are all really just one reason: "Being gay is icky!" The other ten are just variations on that one.

Don't forget the whole "'Marriage has always been between a man and a woman' repeated ad nauseum in a debate" argument. That's not a "gay is icky" argument, though perhaps a historically inaccurate one.

 

[Mike182]

cute...

 

[Papersock]

You can't argue with a reasons based on solid logic and evidence like those.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

/me enjoys yet another grain of salt and remembers to OPEN the thread and actually read it before formulating a response.

 

[Pariah]

Don't studies show that girls growing up without a father figure are more timid and shy and lack the assertiveness taken from a father figure?

Obviously, this would only contradict lesbians, but whatever. Discuss on.

 

[des]

Then there might be:
Gays don't have a right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
(It's why gays shouldn't be in the military, because they have no right to be shot at.)

--des
(never married, just an observation)

 

[Sunstone]

I'm staunchly opposed to gay marriage because I deeply feel it might destroy the sanctity of my relationship with my Acme Latex Love Doll.

 

[Mike182]

I'm staunchly opposed to gay marriage because I deeply feel it might destroy the sanctity of my relationship with my Acme Latex Love Doll.

you better jump on the pro-gay bandwagon, or i'll tell your latex misses that you have a spare wife in the attic!

 

[Sunstone]

you better jump on the pro-gay bandwagon, or i'll tell your latex misses that you have a spare wife in the attic!

Upon deep reflection, I have decided that I'm cool with gay marriage. Very cool! *wonders how Mike knew about the spare wife in the attic*

 

[jgarden]

The question we should all be asking ourselves is when, as individuals,
did we made a conscious decision concerning our future sexual orientation ?:slap: