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The Presidents NCLB amendments

Scorn

Active Member
A teacher friend sent this to me today. It gave me a chuckle
In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left Behind Act"(NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level. The new test will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test (FART). All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing a FART with a score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language (SMELL)If, with this increased SMELL program, the students cannot pass therequired FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school bytaking another one semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation (CRAP).If, by the age of fourteen, the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, heor she can earn promotion in an intensive one week seminar known as thePreparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students (PRUNES). It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public Schools, (DIPS), that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP.This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101should help "clear the air" as part of the "No School Left Standing" Act.
 
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