(Someone) asked me once, what was the feeling I had when I first attended a
service at this church. Services were held then back at the old elementary school.
Almost breaking into tears, I told him that it was the first time I walked into a
room full of people and no one gave a damn that I might be different. I was treated
like a normal person, greetings were sincere, hugs were full of love, and
friendships honest.
We are an intentionally inclusive congregation that welcomes people of all
religious backgrounds, cultural origins, differing abilities, and sexual orientations.
What a warm, inviting, statement. It was clear from the beginning you are a
special bunch, and to have tolerance as a principle of this faith is a gift.
In preparing for this sermon, my daughter asked me why UU? Aside from personal
and social acceptance, what does Unitarian Universalism offer you spiritually? A
question I actually had to think about for a long while. I am beginning to realize
that I have permission to dine at the great spiritual buffet, to cast aside my certain
damnation and explore other faiths in my search for a meaningful spiritual center.
I am not welcome in the religion of my birth
Though Jesus had no problems
walking among the lepers, most of his followers have not been so open-minded.
Both Christian and Jewish faiths refer to the Old Testaments Deuteronomy 22.5
which reads A woman is not to put on the accoutrements of a man; and a man is
not to clothe himself in the cloak of a woman, nor wear a woman's shift; for that is
an abomination.
From the Mormon teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, "Transsexual operations are
travesty. Do they know better than God what is right and best for them?
From the Vaticans Pastoral Constitution: "man may not despise his bodily life.
Rather he is obliged to regard his body as good and to hold it in honor since God
has created it and will raise it up on the last day"
Islam renounces any attempt to defile Gods creation. My living as a woman and
having surgery to be more physically female is considered sinful, a religious belief
that evangelist Jerry Fawell likes to preach on.
Great
I am one of the only things both Moslems and Fawell agree on.
O.K., so they think I am a sinner destined to an eternity in hell. But why? I did not
ask to be this way. Im just doing the best I can with the cards that were dealt me.
I have always tried to be good to people, live an honest life, work hard and be a
good parent.
I felt I had to look outside of my Christian upbringing to find spiritual meaning.
But where to look? Until I found this church, years of indoctrination made it
difficult to free my mind to explore other faiths.
I have always felt the most peace when surrounded by nature. I question the logic
behind assigning special divine status to the one species that harms the other
creatures of the earth. I also believe in evolution, years of biology made it difficult
to accept the argument of the bible, where life began with the Garden of Eden.
A number of years ago, I had a discussion with a devout follower of the Yahweh
faith about following the word of God. Their practices and interpretation of the
Bible seemed so different from my friend who was a devout member of the Church
of Christ. Both literalist, yet so far apart on what God wanted from them. Given
the serious task of earning eternal life, who was right, who was wrong? Both
desperately wanted to follow the word of God, but wouldnt each modify their
teachings if only one interpretation was correct? What about the Moslems or
Jews? How could they have missed the divine boat? Then there are the Hindus,
Buddhists, Humanists, and Native American earth-based faiths. Again, if there
were only one big T Truth, why would other religions choose to worship the way
they do? I always imagined that there was a small village somewhere in Africa
that is actually doing it right, and everyone else was doing it wrong.
Whether it was God, the loving spirit, mother earth, or directed human energy, God
spoke to me once
.. Not the Mount Sinai kind of voice, but in my sleep.
Recently divorced and planning to make the transition to living as a female full
time, I was offered a job as laboratory manager in a new facility in San Francisco.
I had not told my current employer or even family my plans to cross over. From
hearing stories from the few transsexuals I had met, I was convinced that I would
lose my child, family, job, and friends.
I saw San Francisco as a fresh start, a liberal, safe environment. I had confided my
plans to the investigator who wanted to hire me, and had his blessing. I notified
my X and parents that I had accepted the job and would be gone the following fall.
Leaving my daughter behind was the most difficult decision I ever had to make. I
just knew the courts would take her away, and that most likely she would grow up
and hate me for years of embarrassment for who or what her real father was. I lost
sleep many a night over the anxiety of abandoning my child. But if I didnt go, I
most likely would kill myself, trapped in Richmond, watching everything I care
about disappear.
Sometime during the night, I heard a voice as clear as I am talking to you
You
cant go, your daughter is here. I woke as the words rang in my ears. Leaving my
daughter, regardless of the consequences of staying in Richmond, was not an
option. My mind was now at ease, the night sweats gone, and I slept as I had not
slept, for months before.
I changed my plans, and never considered leaving again. Hows that for divine
intervention? For me, this was proof that something greater than myself exists. A
force that was not vengeful, one that would even help an outcast such as myself.
Thanks to religious freedom, the hallmark of Unitarian Universalism, It is OK for
me to explore spiritually beyond the confines of the great churches. To find the
answers, seek the serenity that makes the most sense to me in my life.
I have lately been drawn to what I call non-judgmental spirituality. A combination
of celebrating nature as the living God, and Buddhism, which centers on
development of inner peace. Similar to Aldo Leopolds notion of a land ethic,
I believe in the inter-connectiveness of life on this planet, that we are but one
species among many, and all have the right to exist in peace.
I had the pleasure of attending the Dali Lamas service in Washington last year. I
have always been impressed with the humbleness of the man. Since he was a child,
he has always maintained that he was but a simple monk, and that Buddhism
was his way, but not the only way. All faiths are welcomed at his table. Contrary to
Jesus who sacrificed life on earth, Bodhisattva Quan Yin turned
down heaven in order to help others attain enlightenment. Quan Yin is known as
the Buddhist Goddess of Compassion. She too has undergone a gender change.
Beginning as an androgynous male figure, sometime around 400AD, Chinese
scholars began to interpret Kwan Yin as a woman figure from their translation of
the Sutra, or Holy Writings. In Tibet and India, she is still seen as an androgynous
male
She has my sympathy.
I am still on my spiritual journey. Like a newborn child, all the worlds faiths are
new and mine to explore
. Ill let you know when I get there, wherever there
is
..
I do not know why I was born transsexual. I do believe that I was put on earth to
make a difference. Either by helping research treatments for the severely brain
injured, as a positive role model for the transgender community, or my work in
improving attitudes about protecting endangered wildlife.
Transsexualism is a hurdle in life, a handicap for sure, but each of us have our wall
to climb. There is no choice but to keep the feet moving, even if our brains try and
get in the way sometimes. Im luckier than some transsexuals I have known, Im
going to stay around long enough to see how this life thing turns out.
Blessed be, amen
