Khale
Active Member
WHALE ATTACKS IN JAPAN...
Posted 5.25.05
...continue to be thwarted by heroic pre-emptive strikes from the Japanese.
Despite international criticism, the Japanese government plans to maintain its program of wholesale whale slaughter. "The best defense is a good offense," said Japan Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi while pummeling a nearby whale to death with a tire iron. "Who knows how many lives we are saving?" The Prime Minister then set the whale on fire and ate its unborn calf.
According to the Japanese Bureau for Sea Mammal Destruction, whales have posed a serious threat to Japan for many years. Japan is an island, stated one whale-killing expert, while nervously peering towards the shore. Which basically means we are surrounded by whales. And did you know those f***ers can breathe air? Whats to stop them from just walking out of the water and killing us all right now? He then hopped into a nearby bunker and randomly fired several mortar shells into the ocean.
While unsubstantiated by outside sources, the Japanese government maintains that its people and way of life are in imminent danger from whale assault. If it was you or your family, youd do what had to be done, commented a Colonel in the Japanese army as his squadron fired automatic weapons into a recently discovered beached whale. Ive seen whales do things to a man that would give you nightmares, he continued. Stay sharp, boys, the colonel shouted. He may have brought some friends!
All photos courtesy of the Japanese Bureau for Sea Mammal Destruction
Article Taken from: www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Posted 5.25.05
...continue to be thwarted by heroic pre-emptive strikes from the Japanese.
Despite international criticism, the Japanese government plans to maintain its program of wholesale whale slaughter. "The best defense is a good offense," said Japan Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi while pummeling a nearby whale to death with a tire iron. "Who knows how many lives we are saving?" The Prime Minister then set the whale on fire and ate its unborn calf.
According to the Japanese Bureau for Sea Mammal Destruction, whales have posed a serious threat to Japan for many years. Japan is an island, stated one whale-killing expert, while nervously peering towards the shore. Which basically means we are surrounded by whales. And did you know those f***ers can breathe air? Whats to stop them from just walking out of the water and killing us all right now? He then hopped into a nearby bunker and randomly fired several mortar shells into the ocean.
While unsubstantiated by outside sources, the Japanese government maintains that its people and way of life are in imminent danger from whale assault. If it was you or your family, youd do what had to be done, commented a Colonel in the Japanese army as his squadron fired automatic weapons into a recently discovered beached whale. Ive seen whales do things to a man that would give you nightmares, he continued. Stay sharp, boys, the colonel shouted. He may have brought some friends!
All photos courtesy of the Japanese Bureau for Sea Mammal Destruction
Article Taken from: www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
