Alceste
Vagabond
I've just gotten back into doing work that pays well. Film stuff, bla bla. But I'm doing a specific kind of work where EVERYBODY ELSE that works with me is a guy. Not the first time - the last time I was banned from working by the union and the only "reason" I ever got was "some of the guys are saying you're a tease".
Long story short, I was really traumatized by that and didn't try again until now, when it's busy and I'm broke. So I'm working again, but I'm still the only woman in the crew.
Being older and wiser, I'm probing people a bit here and there as to their personal attitudes about gender and work. I've gotten three interesting perspectives.
1: Some men can't accept being told what to do by a woman.
This came from a guy I worked with last night. I was casually wondering whether there are other women in this province doing this type of work. He said yes, there are a couple, but they are exceptional at their jobs, because they have to be. If you're not a woman, just having a penis is enough of a qualification. If you don't have a penis, you have to bust your ***. The awkward thing is, though, when you bust your *** you get promoted really fast in this industry, and men FREAK OUT when you get into a position where you're supposed to tell them what to do. They hate it, and they will do whatever they can to rip you to shreds. That was enlightening, because it made sense of why I got banned from working by the union in the same week I got offered positions of authority by three different department heads in the same film.
2. Screw gender - the department heads just want people who can work and manage a crew, and men are better workers with women on the crew.
This guy assured me that department heads want someone who knows what they're doing, and can work hard, and gender doesn't matter, and bla bla bla. He didn't hear my back story or concerns, because he talked over me every time I opened my mouth. (Ironically, he didn't do that to men). He's right - on every job, there are noobs who know nothing, can't figure it out and won't ask, cynical, entitled pros who just want their hours and are happy to stand on the sidelines watching the clock, and people who work. Every key in the industry wants to hire the people who work. HOWEVER, the cynical pros who watch the clock are the most likely people who decide whether or not you get to work, because they are more involved with union politics. Anyway, this dude didn't get that, because he doesn't have to, because he has a penis and can do whatever the **** he wants and still work.
3. Think of the wives!
The woman who said this is a friend of mine who used to work in the same industry but is now staying at home with a kid while her husband works. He works in the same department I do, and can get ME work.
She told me the ONLY time she's ever wigged out and gotten jealous was when her husband, who ordinarily works on an all guy crew, hired a WOMAN. She was young and hot and talented and bla bla bla. And good at her job, obviously, because if you don't have a penis, you have to be.
So here's the moment that stuck with me: She said "He's spending 12 hours a day with this person, I hardly ever see him, and all of a sudden they're best friends, and" bla bla bla. Then she says "Why would you want to work on an all guy crew? Think how the WIVES must feel! Why not pick a more co-ed department?"
I told her it's super simple - I am never going to bang anybody I work with. Period.A, I'm married. B, I want MONEY, not drama. She replied that I "don't put out that kind of energy". Meaning, I apparently "put out the energy" that I'm going to bang whoever, including your husband, so I probably should choose my department (and income) according to how likely it is that wives will feel threatened that I'm working with their husbands.
I'm really ****** off. I'm ****** off at my friend, more than ANY of the *** hats that conspired to ban me from working before.
After that whole story, I have to ask, has ANY MAN, in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND had to base his career choice on how wounded and threatened other men might feel if he succeeds?
Jeez. I wanted to vent. I've got problems. I'm ****** off about what happened years ago when I took a "man's" job and excelled at it. REALLY ****** off. That sparks a competitive impulse in me. I want to win. Winning will be being the boss in a traditionally male department. That's it, that's all. So simple. So achievable. I'll be there in two years, IMO, if the union doesn't screw it up again.
The fact that this woman I know and like would suggest I shouldn't fight - that I should find a job where other women don't feel threatened by me - OMG. I never saw that coming. I thought we were all on the same team. "Think of the wives" my ***. Why aren't "the wives" fricking working if they're so concerned about the subject?
Long story short, I was really traumatized by that and didn't try again until now, when it's busy and I'm broke. So I'm working again, but I'm still the only woman in the crew.
Being older and wiser, I'm probing people a bit here and there as to their personal attitudes about gender and work. I've gotten three interesting perspectives.
1: Some men can't accept being told what to do by a woman.
This came from a guy I worked with last night. I was casually wondering whether there are other women in this province doing this type of work. He said yes, there are a couple, but they are exceptional at their jobs, because they have to be. If you're not a woman, just having a penis is enough of a qualification. If you don't have a penis, you have to bust your ***. The awkward thing is, though, when you bust your *** you get promoted really fast in this industry, and men FREAK OUT when you get into a position where you're supposed to tell them what to do. They hate it, and they will do whatever they can to rip you to shreds. That was enlightening, because it made sense of why I got banned from working by the union in the same week I got offered positions of authority by three different department heads in the same film.
2. Screw gender - the department heads just want people who can work and manage a crew, and men are better workers with women on the crew.
This guy assured me that department heads want someone who knows what they're doing, and can work hard, and gender doesn't matter, and bla bla bla. He didn't hear my back story or concerns, because he talked over me every time I opened my mouth. (Ironically, he didn't do that to men). He's right - on every job, there are noobs who know nothing, can't figure it out and won't ask, cynical, entitled pros who just want their hours and are happy to stand on the sidelines watching the clock, and people who work. Every key in the industry wants to hire the people who work. HOWEVER, the cynical pros who watch the clock are the most likely people who decide whether or not you get to work, because they are more involved with union politics. Anyway, this dude didn't get that, because he doesn't have to, because he has a penis and can do whatever the **** he wants and still work.
3. Think of the wives!
The woman who said this is a friend of mine who used to work in the same industry but is now staying at home with a kid while her husband works. He works in the same department I do, and can get ME work.
She told me the ONLY time she's ever wigged out and gotten jealous was when her husband, who ordinarily works on an all guy crew, hired a WOMAN. She was young and hot and talented and bla bla bla. And good at her job, obviously, because if you don't have a penis, you have to be.
So here's the moment that stuck with me: She said "He's spending 12 hours a day with this person, I hardly ever see him, and all of a sudden they're best friends, and" bla bla bla. Then she says "Why would you want to work on an all guy crew? Think how the WIVES must feel! Why not pick a more co-ed department?"
I told her it's super simple - I am never going to bang anybody I work with. Period.A, I'm married. B, I want MONEY, not drama. She replied that I "don't put out that kind of energy". Meaning, I apparently "put out the energy" that I'm going to bang whoever, including your husband, so I probably should choose my department (and income) according to how likely it is that wives will feel threatened that I'm working with their husbands.
I'm really ****** off. I'm ****** off at my friend, more than ANY of the *** hats that conspired to ban me from working before.
After that whole story, I have to ask, has ANY MAN, in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF MANKIND had to base his career choice on how wounded and threatened other men might feel if he succeeds?
Jeez. I wanted to vent. I've got problems. I'm ****** off about what happened years ago when I took a "man's" job and excelled at it. REALLY ****** off. That sparks a competitive impulse in me. I want to win. Winning will be being the boss in a traditionally male department. That's it, that's all. So simple. So achievable. I'll be there in two years, IMO, if the union doesn't screw it up again.
The fact that this woman I know and like would suggest I shouldn't fight - that I should find a job where other women don't feel threatened by me - OMG. I never saw that coming. I thought we were all on the same team. "Think of the wives" my ***. Why aren't "the wives" fricking working if they're so concerned about the subject?
