Trying to move on - no longer want to practice Catholicism

[neale68]

This past week has been very difficult. I was going through a program in my diocese to become a (certified) lay minister. I was confirmed Catholic in 2003. I taught at a Catholic school for 9 years. I was living a lie.

I realized last Friday that I can no longer live that lie. I know that in my heart I CANNOT be a minister to others if I believe differently from the Church.

At the moment, I feel kind of lost and empty. I have given up a community of people that I do honestly love, but at the moment, I am ashamed to admit to them my "faults." I am sort of looking for a "new" home, but as I stated in another post, I'm not ready to go church shopping. I do have one friend that I have confided in over the years, and she told me that she would not hold it against me. (c:

The bottom line for me is, I still love God, but I don't know how to walk with him now that I have left the Catholic church. I didn't take this move lightly. But, where to go from here?

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

The bottom line for me is, I still love God, but I don't know how to walk with him now that I have left the Catholic church. I didn't take this move lightly. But, where to go from here?

This may sound like me recommending my faith but it isn't. Try going to a UU church. Not to become a UU or to be a part of a church, but to explore alternatives. In a UU Church you can find people willing to discuss multiple denominational, faiths and even non-faiths such as Humanism and Atheism. It's like going to a salad bar. From the UU church you may be able to find the path to follow based on gathered knowledge. There seems to be a large population of ex-Catholics in the UU church, at least in the three I've been a part of, so you may find others to share experiences and get advice from.

The beauty of visiting a UU church is there is no pressure to become a UU. Only help in finding the path that fits you the best.

Sorry if that all sounds like a plug for my church but its the best advice I can give. Although I do like the Methodists a lot too.

 

[neale68]

:yes:Trey of Diamonds - it's funny that you mention UU because that's actually the church I have been looking at. I went to the UU website and found it very informative. I really am interested in attending a church that isn't judgmental and it's sound like UU is a good place to start.

 

[Revoltingest]

You have faults?
Welcome aboard!

 

[Cassiopia]

No person can ask more of themself, and no God can ask more of a person than to be honest and to pursue their spiritual quest in a genuine and authentic way.
Where do you go from here?
I suspect you already know the answer in your heart since your doubts about the Catholic Church must be based on some deep seated beliefs. The hard part is taking the plunge.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

:yes:Trey of Diamonds - it's funny that you mention UU because that's actually the church I have been looking at. I went to the UU website and found it very informative. I really am interested in attending a church that isn't judgmental and it's sound like UU is a good place to start.

If you decide to go let us know what you thought about it. This is a great place for discussion and info gathering.

Oh, and Welcome to the Forum! :yes:

 

[Rocky S]

This past week has been very difficult. I was going through a program in my diocese to become a (certified) lay minister. I was confirmed Catholic in 2003. I taught at a Catholic school for 9 years. I was living a lie.

I realized last Friday that I can no longer live that lie. I know that in my heart I CANNOT be a minister to others if I believe differently from the Church.

At the moment, I feel kind of lost and empty. I have given up a community of people that I do honestly love, but at the moment, I am ashamed to admit to them my "faults." I am sort of looking for a "new" home, but as I stated in another post, I'm not ready to go church shopping. I do have one friend that I have confided in over the years, and she told me that she would not hold it against me. (c:

The bottom line for me is, I still love God, but I don't know how to walk with him now that I have left the Catholic church. I didn't take this move lightly. But, where to go from here?

If you don't mind me asking, what was it that pulled you away from Catholicism?

 

[neale68]

If you don't mind me asking, what was it that pulled you away from Catholicism?

Well, as someone else suggested some deep-seeded personal beliefs -

#1 women's right to choose - granted, I have seen first hand how many women use this as a means of birth control, that I don't agree with. But again, it's her decision to choose that. i don't feel that the church, the government, or anyone should have a say in the decision that she makes --- one of my favorite actresses in a skit said, "when's the last time YOU were pregnant m.f." --- which to me is about men telling women what they can and cannot do with their bodies

#2 birth control - since i had a botched operation, i have to take it permanently. why do i have to be punished because it is now medically necessary for me to take birth control. plus in all the years i have been attending Catholic Mass, when I look around, I don't see any large families. Most families have the 2.5 children deal - although I never could figure out the .5 part. So somebody in those families is practicing birth control.

#3 Divorce - of all the sins that we commit as Catholics, it would seem that the only one we cannot and will not be forgiven for is being married before. Unless of course you have enough money. I know several people that are in unhappy marriages - perhaps even abusive marriages - and they will stay there because they don't want to upset the (Catholic) apple cart. I made this known in another post of mine. My husband was married before. We met, fell in love...I became Catholic that same year. I lost my job because of his sin. And after reading about the annulment process, I was not going to put my husband through the pain and humiliation of the annulment just so that we could have our marriage recognized by the Catholic church. Gee, the state in which we live in recognizes it...so...you can lie, cheat, steal, and even go so far as to kill someone and be absolved of all your sins, but not if you've been married before OR if your spouse has been married before. This is the main reason why my husband will never even CONSIDER becoming Catholic.

There are some aspects of the faith that I am going to miss - there is something comforting about saying the rosary or being in the presence of the Holy Eucharist. I will miss some of the rituals of the church, but I will carry that with me always. It is more about Jesus Christ than it is about me. I know that HE is leading me on this journey.

Again, I made this realization because I wanted to be a minister in the church. I cannot "lead" others in this faith if my beliefs are so different. I suppose I could, but then I would be a hypocrite and that is not my nature. I probably could go on and on, but enough about me -- were you once Catholic?

 

[Thief]

Well, as someone else suggested some deep-seeded personal beliefs -

#1 women's right to choose - granted, I have seen first hand how many women use this as a means of birth control, that I don't agree with. But again, it's her decision to choose that. i don't feel that the church, the government, or anyone should have a say in the decision that she makes --- one of my favorite actresses in a skit said, "when's the last time YOU were pregnant m.f." --- which to me is about men telling women what they can and cannot do with their bodies

#2 birth control - since i had a botched operation, i have to take it permanently. why do i have to be punished because it is now medically necessary for me to take birth control. plus in all the years i have been attending Catholic Mass, when I look around, I don't see any large families. Most families have the 2.5 children deal - although I never could figure out the .5 part. So somebody in those families is practicing birth control.

#3 Divorce - of all the sins that we commit as Catholics, it would seem that the only one we cannot and will not be forgiven for is being married before. Unless of course you have enough money. I know several people that are in unhappy marriages - perhaps even abusive marriages - and they will stay there because they don't want to upset the (Catholic) apple cart. I made this known in another post of mine. My husband was married before. We met, fell in love...I became Catholic that same year. I lost my job because of his sin. And after reading about the annulment process, I was not going to put my husband through the pain and humiliation of the annulment just so that we could have our marriage recognized by the Catholic church. Gee, the state in which we live in recognizes it...so...you can lie, cheat, steal, and even go so far as to kill someone and be absolved of all your sins, but not if you've been married before OR if your spouse has been married before. This is the main reason why my husband will never even CONSIDER becoming Catholic.

There are some aspects of the faith that I am going to miss - there is something comforting about saying the rosary or being in the presence of the Holy Eucharist. I will miss some of the rituals of the church, but I will carry that with me always. It is more about Jesus Christ than it is about me. I know that HE is leading me on this journey.

Again, I made this realization because I wanted to be a minister in the church. I cannot "lead" others in this faith if my beliefs are so different. I suppose I could, but then I would be a hypocrite and that is not my nature. I probably could go on and on, but enough about me -- were you once Catholic?

I considered the priesthood when I was younger.
Made an application....too many others to choose from....not me.

I don't mind though.

As the years went by, I continued reading the book.
I then came to know the church was the direction I would go...anyway.

It's not a big deal.
Keep the parables in your foundation.
You'll be fine.

 

[Badran]

***Mod post***

This thread has been moved to the Comparative Religion forum.​

 

[Pastek]

Again, I made this realization because I wanted to be a minister in the church. I cannot "lead" others in this faith if my beliefs are so different. I suppose I could, but then I would be a hypocrite and that is not my nature.

Do you still want to participate in a church and lead people ?

I don't know very much about christianity but, can you search and follow you own way, and then going in any church you want to pray ?

 

[4consideration]

I left the Catholic church. I did not leave God. I left because I felt that I had to choose between following what I really believed to be true -- or trying to convince myself to believe some things I did not believe. I did not wish to pretend.

As I see it, sometimes when you find that you need to move from where you are into a place that seems more appropriate -- it's best to take the best of what you have from the past with you -- and release what is no longer appropriate, or what you believe to be untrue.

There is a lot that I appreciate and found valuable. There is a lot that do not believe to be true.

I think that if one's heart is centered on a love of truth, that is a connection to God, and truth will reveal itself eventually -- whatever the truth you are seeking. Best wishes on your journey.

 

[Gaura Priya]

Have you ever thought about the Anglican or the Episcopal Church? They are a good Christian tradition that do not shy away from science and putting Christianity into a modern perspective. I liked the rituals and beliefs of the Anglican Church, but with my Muslim atheist boyfriend, it was hard to find a good balance.

I was also born and raised Catholic. Anglicanism still keeps the Sacrament of the Eucharist and believe in the Real Presence of Christ. Plus, I love the rosary and Mother Mary, and that will always stay with me.

Nowadays, I follow and try to practice the Unitarian Universalist religion, which is on the far end of liberal. So if you do feel comfortable having Jesus Christ as a personal spiritual teacher amongst others who have a plethora of different belief systems than yours, you are always welcome to try us out.

 

[Green Kepi]

Neale68...you ever thought about "just being a Christian only"? What I mean by that is following the Principles taught by Jesus and His Disciples and not 'tacking' some groups' name hyphenated before or after it.

 

[in_lakech]

Maybe you can take this time to re-examine what you actually do believe and don't believe. The UU church is a good suggestion or even not joining another group at all. I do understand the social benefits of going to church though.

 

[arthra]

Neale wrote above:

"The bottom line for me is, I still love God, but I don't know how to walk with him now that I have left the Catholic church. I didn't take this move lightly. But, where to go from here?"

The only thing I'd suggest to you is prayer to God asking for guidance.... A crisis of faith or belief can be a very sigificant and important event in life that will have a lot of ramiifcations.

 

[Pegg]

There are some aspects of the faith that I am going to miss - there is something comforting about saying the rosary or being in the presence of the Holy Eucharist. I will miss some of the rituals of the church, but I will carry that with me always. It is more about Jesus Christ than it is about me. I know that HE is leading me on this journey.

Seems to me like you already know where to turn. What i highlighted above indicates that you know that Jesus is leading you so perhaps you should turn to the gospels and really mediate on Jesus and his life and teaching.

He a fine minister and he calls all his followers to likewise become ministers by following his example.

 

[ShadowsAndDust]

To simply say it............ try being Irreligious. Worrying about god and what religion he/she represents is pointless so it is best to know what you expect of god with your own rationality. Every religion is at fault of something and no religion can be fully agreed with so I wouldn't bother worrying about religion, denomination or sect. This is you and god not you and a dogma. Dogma doesn't help you but god does