UU weddings

[Breathe]

I saw another member say they were married in a UU church, so now I'm curious (although already married):


How does a UU wedding service go?
How "customizable" is it?
What parts need to be there, if any?

How 'foreign' can it be? For example, if I wanted the pastor to perform a Vedic wedding, or a Sikh wedding, would it be possible through a UU church to do it, even if they weren't 'skilled' in such weddings - or would it have to be something the pastor was comfortable with?

 

[seeker57]

If you have a minister at your congregation, I would ask him or her what particulars they are comfortable with.

We are lay led, meaning none of us is ordained or can perform a marriage, per se.

The last wedding at my congregation was Wiccan and was conducted by the high priestess of a local coven.

Weddings and memorials in UU congregations tend to be more eclectic than other types of churches/congregations.

 

[applewuud]

How does a UU wedding service go?

Unitarian Universalism doesn't have a "Book of Common Prayer" or other set services, so it can go lots of ways. But most are fairly conventional.

How "customizable" is it?

It basically has to be customized. But typically it involves some readings, some statements from people involved, usually music. I've often seen couples light a chalice together.

UUs are the one of the most accepting denominations of same-sex marriage, and these marriages or commitment ceremonies tend to be customized by definition.

What parts need to be there, if any?

None. What needs to happen before the ceremony is a sense by the minister that the couple have thought deeply about this and are ready for a serious, committed relationship.

How 'foreign' can it be? For example, if I wanted the pastor to perform a Vedic wedding, or a Sikh wedding, would it be possible through a UU church to do it, even if they weren't 'skilled' in such weddings - or would it have to be something the pastor was comfortable with?

Typically, UU ministers defer to clergy from other denominations for certain ceremonial elements they're not conversant with. For example, many UU weddings of couples with a Jewish background are a co-creation of a UU minister and a liberal rabbi, featuring elements from a traditional Jewish service. Many ministers are hesitant to "rip off" other cultures, not because the disapprove of "foreign" elements, but for fear that it would be cultural misappropriation and exploitation. In the sixties, it became very common to incorporate Native American rituals in UU weddings (and at UU conferences), but there were tribes who protested that it was like a non-Christian performing a Catholic mass...it trivializes the ritual.