Wow, that so interesting, Moshen. I explored Islam a few years ago after one of my grandmothers died. I was an atheist then, left Christianity, and was searching for answers. I found Islam to have much beauty, but could never wrap my mind around Sharia law.
Ah, the Shariah, before I comment on that, may I just say that I can empathise with your decision to apostate from your faith and follow an atheistic world view. I was there, but it didn't really hold much value to my existence. It was altogether too selfish an existence for me to feel spiritually nourished.
Now, for the shariah. This is still an hotly debated subject even among the jurists of Islam, The shariah is not a rigid law system, but flexible yet strong - like bamboo - however, it also bamboozles many of us due to its implementation in Muslim nations which have shariah as their law system. Take for example how shariah is practiced in the middle east and compare that to how it is practiced in Gambia, and we find differences - each specific to region and expected social norms, I beleive shariah law is quite often misrepresented as some sort of bogeyman when in fact, the nations with shariah actually have a lot less crime when compared to the modern democratic west.
When I was in the Kingdom of Arabia, I saw jewellery store owners leave their wares unattended while they went off to the mosque to do prayers - nothing ever got stolen. There were no cameras and theft would have been really easy. This is the result of shariah.
Shariah is a reformist law which seeks to prevent crime by addressing the social ills of society, and when we compare to the modern west we find the modern west lacking in these matters. The modern west would rather sell you "freedom" (something you was born with as your God given right) and this freedom allows you to steal and do crime, and the punishments for these crimes are hardly preventative measures for anyone else seeking to do the same.
I know many in the west will take issue with what I wrote, but they have not experienced true freedom like I have in Arabia. Where I was able to walk the nights in the darkest alleyways and receive hospitality instead of some bum trying to mug me for my watch.
Shariah, is not a law system of punishments, rather, it is more a system of preventative measures. And it works. ALbeit, works differently in different nations due to the nature of shariah being "flexible" enough to accomodate a regions norms.
I couldn't wrap my mind also around the ideas of Jesus, coming from a Christian background.
I don't think many Christians can either, it's an highly escapist and emotionally dogmatic position they invest in, which I find to be quite unstable.
I recently found out this past week that my father is half middle eastern, he learned of this news after he got married to my mom ...his father was adopted, but his bio parents were Syrian and Iranian. So, I guess this makes me 1/3/ middle eastern? To your point about the middle east and Islam not being widely accepted in the states, this is true. I never thought it was true, but my dad shared with me this week that he never wanted anyone to know because it would affect his business and perhaps how people view him.
It's the same here in gray old England, on the other side of the pond from where you live! Islam, is the current bogeyman... Judaism was first. Christianity escaped the wrath of secular extremism due to the churches becoming empty.
He finally wanted me to know the truth of my background, and I'm grateful. I see it as a gift, he sees it as a burden, I guess. I do wish I had known as a child though, but he was also raised in the Italian heritage, his own father never telling him. I think he is concerned I will pursue Islam again. He is Catholic, and it bothered him when I explored it a few years ago. Many people can't separate Islam from radical Islam and the conflicts within the middle east. The US is home to many Muslims, but secular law rules here, so the US offers the opportunity for people to believe as they wish, in freedom. Unlike the middle east, my life would look much different if I lived there. Choice is good.
Choice is always good. I say that religion is a personal thing. Between you and God. Declaring your faith should only ever be done openly once you have mustered conviction based on rational, reasonable and intrinsic understanding of your religion - because whether we like it or not - once people find out we belong to one faith or another, we somehow become the representative of it! It's a very responsible position to be in.
It's nice to read your story, because you are not Muslim from indoctrination, but from your own personal exploration.
Likewise, I found your story to be very endearing and I drew parallels with it.
God bless you Deidre, you've made my day that little bit more, special!