• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Water under the bridge? Should I go back to my old place of employment?

an anarchist

Your local loco.
I left my last job. I didn’t quit, I had a medical emergency and the manager laughed at me and told me I couldn’t have time off. Then they lied to the food stamp and unemployment office about my employment status and that screwed up my benefits. I went through the proper corporate channels to complain and they investigated themselves and found no wrong doing. I’m going legal.

My brother still works there. Apparently, it is a dumpster fire. People keep quitting. An assistant manager gave my brother a heads up that the managers are going to go to him and inquire about me and ask if I can go back to working for them.

My immediate reaction is “NO!!!!!” But I do need a job. And forgiveness is important to moving on. I figure I have three demands. The first two I would require to be met no matter what. 1. My sick pay is still available. 2. My vacation time is still the same and available. I was there for three years, so I had a weeks saved up. Since I’m off the payroll now, they like to tell rehires that their saved time is in the void and they have to start over. I would need my sick and vacation time secure if I go back. If I go back and lose that, then I am literally being robbed and I won’t stand for that I hate being robbed.

My third demand I know they won’t meet no matter what, and I would like to discuss if that is ok to move past. 3. An apology letter from my boss’s boss on behalf of the corporation. They would have to admit wrongdoing in a letter of apology to me, which I know they would never do in order to cover their legal butts.

Is it okay if I drop my third demand? What do you think? Part of it is I need a job, but I’m mainly considering dropping my third demand because Buddhism teaches not to hold on to things and forgiveness and things like that. What do you think?
 
Last edited:

an anarchist

Your local loco.
The boss who laughed at me when I had a medical emergency is on sick leave because she ended up getting cancer. When my life was on the line she laughed in my face. So I can’t help but get giddy at the idea of her having cancer. I’m sure she was allowed to use her sick leave for it. She didn’t afford me that opportunity, and I’m struggling still half a year later, unemployed.

I bring this up because maybe I shouldn’t work for someone who I’m glad has cancer?
 

an anarchist

Your local loco.
The boss who laughed at me when I had a medical emergency is on sick leave because she ended up getting cancer. When my life was on the line she laughed in my face. So I can’t help but get giddy at the idea of her having cancer. I’m sure she was allowed to use her sick leave for it. She didn’t afford me that opportunity, and I’m struggling still half a year later, unemployed.

I bring this up because maybe I shouldn’t work for someone who I’m glad has cancer?
But then that’s sort of the point. I can learn to forgive and work for the lady who screwed me over if she says sorry and she won’t do it again.
 

VoidCat

Use any and all pronouns including neo and it/it's
The apology letter is good to keep I think. It's the least they can do for refusing you sick leave. A decent employer who has changed to better things for employees and truly would have you work there would do that.

I wouldn't work there however because as @JustGeorge points out it doesn't sound like a healthy workplace
 

VoidCat

Use any and all pronouns including neo and it/it's
You see the red flags? It's a communist party at this point there's. so many

Forgiveness doesn't mean putting up with people's bad behavior. It doesn't mean putting yourself in a bad situation.
 

PureX

Veteran Member
I left my last job. I didn’t quit, I had a medical emergency and the manager laughed at me and told me I couldn’t have time off. Then they lied to the food stamp and unemployment office about my employment status and that screwed up my benefits. I went through the proper corporate channels to complain and they investigated themselves and found no wrong doing. I’m going legal.

My brother still works there. Apparently, it is a dumpster fire. People keep quitting. An assistant manager gave my brother a heads up that the managers are going to go to him and inquire about me and ask if I can go back to working for them.

My immediate reaction is “NO!!!!!” But I do need a job. And forgiveness is important to moving on. I figure I have three demands. The first two I would require to be met no matter what. 1. My sick pay is still available. 2. My vacation time is still the same and available. I was there for three years, so I had a weeks saved up. Since I’m off the payroll now, they like to tell rehires that their saved time is in the void and they have to start over. I would need my sick and vacation time secure if I go back. If I go back and lose that, then I am literally being robbed and I won’t stand for that I hate being robbed.

My third demand I know they won’t meet no matter what, and I would like to discuss if that is ok to move past. 3. An apology letter from my boss’s boss on behalf of the corporation. They would have to admit wrongdoing in a letter of apology to me, which I know they would never do in order to cover their legal butts.

Is it okay if I drop my third demand? What do you think? Part of it is I need a job, but I’m mainly considering dropping my third demand because Buddhism teaches not to hold on to things and forgiveness and things like that. What do you think?
Forget the apology. It's a waste of time and effort.

The rest makes sense.

Normally I would advise never to knowingly put oneself it a position where one is likely to be abused, again. But sometimes practicality makes it unavoidable. But be aware that the situation may return to what it was before and you may have to leave for good. But, in the meantime, do the best you can and save what you can. And who knows, maybe things will be different.
 

Sumadji

Active Member
The boss who laughed at me when I had a medical emergency is on sick leave because she ended up getting cancer. When my life was on the line she laughed in my face. So I can’t help but get giddy at the idea of her having cancer. I’m sure she was allowed to use her sick leave for it. She didn’t afford me that opportunity, and I’m struggling still half a year later, unemployed.

I bring this up because maybe I shouldn’t work for someone who I’m glad has cancer?
A brush with cancer can change a person's worldview and turn it inside out. Your boss may be different now
 

Vee

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
If there are any other options, don't go back there. That place is toxic and if the management is still the same, it it likely that they will treat you like that again in the future.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
The boss who laughed at me when I had a medical emergency is on sick leave because she ended up getting cancer. When my life was on the line she laughed in my face.
This scenario just doesn't quite ring true to me.
Medical emergency denied.
Laughed in your face.
I advise considering that your boss might not
be as unreasonable as you make her out to be,
& that maybe your recollection of events is
colored to be more extreme than it really was.

BTW, I have experience with many jobs, &
being canned from a couple. No one likes
being fired, but I don't judge them harshly.
Because I understand their reasons, even if
I'd have preferred a different outcome.

If you return to the job, you'll be older & wiser.
Use that to make things work better for you.
We're all on your side.
 

an anarchist

Your local loco.
This scenario just doesn't quite ring true to me.
That’s ok I am not trying to convince anyone, but yes, I had a life threatening medical emergency and she laughed in my face and denied me medical leave that I had saved up. Completely ridiculous to the point it sounds unbelievable, I know, but it’s true.
 

It Aint Necessarily So

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I left my last job. I didn’t quit, I had a medical emergency and the manager laughed at me and told me I couldn’t have time off. Then they lied to the food stamp and unemployment office about my employment status and that screwed up my benefits. I went through the proper corporate channels to complain and they investigated themselves and found no wrong doing. I’m going legal ... 1. My sick pay is still available. 2. My vacation time is still the same and available. I was there for three years, so I had a weeks saved up. Since I’m off the payroll now, they like to tell rehires that their saved time is in the void and they have to start over
This story has problems

[1] You say that you didn't quit, but you didn't say that you were fired, either - just denied sick time - you don't work there but are wanted back.
[2] You called the problem an emergency, but then describe somebody laughing at you and disagreeing with your judgment that it was an emergency. You didn't mention going to an ER or urgicare center, and didn't describe an illness.
[3] You describe a workplace that is accustomed to rehiring former employees.
[4] You don't normally lose accrued vacation or sick time when terminated.
[5] You say that they lied to you and interfered with you receiving government benefits.
[6] You say that you had a complaint that only they investigated.
forgiveness is important to moving on
You describe people who don't respect you, don't care about you, would cheat you, and showed gratuitous malevolence after you leaving. Forgiveness doesn't involve going back to work there. Any other option is preferable.
 
Last edited:
Top