Ha, yeah. I’ve never managed to finish A Brief History of Time - not yet anyway - and I’ve had the book for over 20 years. Whether Rovelli is Hawking’s equal intellectually, I honestly couldn’t say; but as a writer, he’s way more accessible.
Wave and phase are abstractions aren’t they? Abstractions which work and which stand up to mathematical interrogation; but at the sub atomic level, wave is a metaphor for the way particles behave. And they appear to behave differently when they are being observed, which is the real head spinner.
How much 'reality' to give the wave function is a matter of debate. There are certainly some aspects that can be observed using 'weak measurements'. There are also some experimental results that seem to point to needing to say the wave function is 'actually real'. Some care is needed, though, because terminology can be an issue (what does it mean to be 'real'?)
And no, particles DO NOT act differently depending on whether they are observed or not. They act differently depending on whether they *interact* with other things in their environment.
For example, in the classical double slit experiment, the interference pattern disappears when the electrons going through the slits interact with photons that give 'which slit' information. If the wavelength of the photons is too large to give such information, the interference pattern returns. No conscious observer is required to collect the information showing the 'quantum strangeness': only photon or electron detectors.
And, to *detect* anything requires *interaction*, which changes behavior.