What a difference one year makes

[Deidre]

This time last year, my grandmother was dying, I was an atheist/agnostic, and serial dating. I felt lost and alone, and felt that way well into 2015. Fast forward to now, I came back to Christianity, am engaged, and my grandmother passed away, and I've healed quite a bit from her passing, which I thought I never would. (my avatars of women with some type of red hair (as she had long red hair in her younger days) are how I honor her memory online, anyway) Friends this year, both online and offline passed away, and I'm reminded that this life on earth is but a vapor.

Has your life changed much from the beginning of 2015 to now? If so, please share, and may we be here for one another as supporters and encouragement, together.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Not a lot has changed for me. I'm soon to be 42 years of age, and I feel that I'm trudging towards an unseen goal. Perceptions are fickle however. I like to think that I'm being re-forged, and until the heat dies down I won't know my final shape.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I have less brain cells and more fat cells than a year ago.

 

[Deidre]

I have less brain cells and more fat cells than a year ago.

Aw, well...new year's resolutions are just around the corner. lol jk!

*I'm not getting notifications on new posts when they come in. Hmmm....

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I got my college degree, which is good, but it's not helping me get work. I was also determined to be "medically frail." But on a positive note I've been getting more serious with drawing, and have considered tattooing as a career.

 

[sun rise]

I had a very minor stroke a few weeks ago and am physically 95% back to normal. But it generated in my deep gratitude for life in all of its forms. So what is in one sense a physical problem in another sense was an emotional blessing. I am doing all I can to avoid another such blessing, of course. To much of a good thing is not helpful.

 

[Laika]

Has your life changed much from the beginning of 2015 to now? If so, please share, and may we be here for one another as supporters and encouragement, together.

Not much has changed. I still have depression, am living with my parents, no job or social life and a tiny income. there is a little more clutter in my bedroom, and the pile of clean clothes is a bit bigger. And my cat still thinks hiding in the wash basket is fun [as she is now whilst I'm typing.]

I have changed though. I have started to put old freinds behind me, and made some new ones here on RF. I am less sure of how the world works, a bit lost in the maze of possibilities and feel dwarfed by how much "bigger" the world now feels, yet I feel a little more confident I can handle most of what could come my way. seeing the pictures from Pluto opened me up a bit and made me think bigger, about space and Mars and seeing "us" from a different perspective. After realising communism was an impossible choice even if were a personal one, I now feel truly like an adult and wiser for giving up some of my treasured illusions. sometime in the past year or two, I stopped being a kid. that is progress to say the least.

At the start of this month I wanted to say to myself that I would have beaten depression by 2016 and be ready to start over. its been seven years and that felt long enough, or at least that's what I told myself. I reached my 26th birthday in July, having honestly never thought I'd actually live that long. its taken a while to process that I now do have a future of some sort. Whilst I haven't beaten depression, and still have dark days, it has got slightly easier. I'm starting to feel less "old" and think that maybe, just maybe- there is something ahead of me worth taking a risk for and that I can reach for it.

So, if even at a snails pace, I'm ready for 2016. And on that thought...

Spoiler

Good Night 2015.

 

[Deidre]

Not a lot has changed for me. I'm soon to be 42 years of age, and I feel that I'm trudging towards an unseen goal. Perceptions are fickle however. I like to think that I'm being re-forged, and until the heat dies down I won't know my final shape.

You are right about perceptions, dear Brick. You always have a knack for articulating things in a way I never thought of.

Not much has changed. I still have depression, am living with my parents, no job or social life and a tiny income. there is a little more clutter in my bedroom, and the pile of clean clothes is a bit bigger. And my cat still thinks hiding in the wash basket is fun [as she is now whilst I'm typing.]

I have changed though. I have started to put old freinds behind me, and made some new ones here on RF. I am less sure of how the world works, a bit lost in the maze of possibilities and feel dwarfed by how much "bigger" the world now feels, yet I feel a little more confident I can handle most of what could come my way. seeing the pictures from Pluto opened me up a bit and made me think bigger, about space and Mars and seeing "us" from a different perspective. After realising communism was an impossible choice even if were a personal one, I now feel truly like an adult and wiser for giving up some of my treasured illusions. sometime in the past year or two, I stopped being a kid. that is progress to say the least.

At the start of this month I wanted to say to myself that I would have beaten depression by 2016 and be ready to start over. its been seven years and that felt long enough, or at least that's what I told myself. I reached my 26th birthday in July, having honestly never thought I'd actually live that long. its taken a while to process that I now do have a future of some sort. Whilst I haven't beaten depression, and still have dark days, it has got slightly easier. I'm starting to feel less "old" and think that maybe, just maybe- there is something ahead of me worth taking a risk for and that I can reach for it.

So, if even at a snails pace, I'm ready for 2016. And on that thought...

Spoiler

Good Night 2015.

I want to cry, in a good way, with your post here Laika. Have you ever considered writing for a career? Truly. The world is missing you as a published author. You and Saint Frankenstein.
I think you have many great gifts. May 2016 be a year of taking chances, and new possibilities.

 

[Deidre]

My new years resolutions never work so I'm thinking of making my resolutions list:

1. Don't work out.
2. Don't become a better person.
3. Don't spend less time on the computer.

and hope that I fail this year too

Happy new years and best of luck with your fiance, I like your new avatar

haha I like your list. Yes, me too...the best of intentions, and then FAIL. I think you are an awesome person, frankly...from what I've seen on here. Gosh, it's like we are our own little family or neighborhood of sorts here. Maybe neighborhood is better, for that's a weird thought to think of us all as related.

Thanks about my avatar. And love yours too...red heads are amazing. My grandmother was the most amazing one ever! Happy new year, SP.

And thank you about my fiance, this time next year...I'll be a wife. Holy crap. lol I never liked the term 'wife.' Here's my car...here's my house...here's my wife. Sounds like a possession. ^_^

I got my college degree, which is good, but it's not helping me get work. I was also determined to be "medically frail." But on a positive note I've been getting more serious with drawing, and have considered tattooing as a career.

OMG...that would be an amazing career. You seem so creative, that would be awesome for you. Follow the path that illuminates before you.
And congrats!

I had a very minor stroke a few weeks ago and am physically 95% back to normal. But it generated in my deep gratitude for life in all of its forms. So what is in one sense a physical problem in another sense was an emotional blessing. I am doing all I can to avoid another such blessing, of course. To much of a good thing is not helpful.

What an amazing insight, and bless you for all you've been through. I'm sorry this happened, but you have turned it around for good. ((hugs))

 

[Debater Slayer]

1) I have become much, much more confident in dealing with people in the last year.

2) I have made new friends, including close ones.

3) I finished my first year of university.

4) I have changed therapists thrice and changed meds at least 8-9 times.

5) I have become more direct and blunt in the way I deal with people.

6) I have become close friends with Deidre.

 

[Brickjectivity]

I had a very minor stroke a few weeks ago and am physically 95% back to normal. But it generated in my deep gratitude for life in all of its forms. So what is in one sense a physical problem in another sense was an emotional blessing. I am doing all I can to avoid another such blessing, of course. To much of a good thing is not helpful.

Ha ha ha. Yes, let us avoid such blessings when there are better blessings to be had.

 

[Deidre]

1) I have become much, much more confident in dealing with people in the last year.

2) I have made new friends, including close ones.

3) I finished my first year of university.

4) I have changed therapists thrice and changed meds at least 8-9 times.

5) I have become more direct and blunt in the way I deal with people.

6) I have become close friends with Deidre.

You have become a very dear friend, DS. Wishing you a wonderful new year. Take one day at a time, and know we are here for you always! Hugs and xxoo!

 

[Terese]

I was an atheist, as long as I could remember, and thinking now, I really needed to find some good albums to listen to. This year, I realised how one year can change a person so much! And so I'm looking forward what I'm going to be like the end of this year!

 

[Ingledsva]

I got my college degree, which is good, but it's not helping me get work. I was also determined to be "medically frail." But on a positive note I've been getting more serious with drawing, and have considered tattooing as a career.

Tattooing is long strange hours, with little pay, unless you become well known.

In most cases you have to apprentice with a tattoo artist, be licensed, and have blood-born pathogen certificates (USA anyway,) etc.

Don't do it without the training as you could kill someone.

*

 

[Brickjectivity]

Tattooing is long strange hours, with little pay, unless you become well known.

In most cases you have to apprentice with a tattoo artist, be licensed, and have blood-born pathogen certificates (USA anyway,) etc.

Don't do it without the training as you could kill someone.

And never use dry erase ink. Always use a sharpie!

 

[Father Heathen]

I got my college degree, which is good, but it's not helping me get work. I was also determined to be "medically frail." But on a positive note I've been getting more serious with drawing, and have considered tattooing as a career.

Have any art online?

 

[Revoltingest]

I had a very minor stroke a few weeks ago and am physically 95% back to normal. But it generated in my deep gratitude for life in all of its forms. So what is in one sense a physical problem in another sense was an emotional blessing. I am doing all I can to avoid another such blessing, of course. To much of a good thing is not helpful.

I didn't have a stroke, & I've recovered to about 85% of normal.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

I found Jesus again after walking away from him for a few years. Despite the fact that my religion was listed as evangelical I really wasn't living it. I find myself feeling much better and acting a little nicer. That's by far the biggest development of my year. I want to find purpose for my life in 2016. I'm still lonely and miserable and very discouraged.

 

[Laika]

I want to cry, in a good way, with your post here Laika. Have you ever considered writing for a career? Truly. The world is missing you as a published author. You and Saint Frankenstein.
I think you have many great gifts. May 2016 be a year of taking chances, and new possibilities.

That means I just have to try harder. cry dam it, cry! lol.

Thanks. I have wanted to sit down and write a novel. my head has been too chaotic to string ideas together, so maybe this year will be the one to do it. it isn't like I'm going to walk into a job anytime soon, so I will need to find things to keep myself busy whatever happens.

Happy New Year D.

 

[Deidre]

I found Jesus again after walking away from him for a few years. Despite the fact that my religion was listed as evangelical I really wasn't living it. I find myself feeling much better and acting a little nicer. That's by far the biggest development of my year. I want to find purpose for my life in 2016. I'm still lonely and miserable and very discouraged.

That's awesome you came back to faith!! I came back to Christianity a few months ago after leaving it a few years ago as well. I had an experience of faith that led to others, and that is why I returned. May you be blessed on your journey