What do different religions teach about casual sex?

[Trailblazer]

If @Trailblazer has a problem, I'm sure she'll let me know as I was talking to her, and she can speak for herself.

No, I have no problem with your advice because I consider you my friend.
Of course everyone on this forum doesn't know how I feel so it might appear different to them.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

No, I have no problem with your advice because I consider you my friend.
Of course everyone on this forum doesn't know how I feel so it might appear different to them.

Right. I don't know your unique relationship with him. But to someone just scanning the thread, it came across as patronizing. Instead of addressing your comments, he gave you dating advice.

 

[Trailblazer]

I'm asking you because you were the one making the argument.

I was not making an argument. I was just passing along what I have read and what Christians have told me.

The word in the passage you quoted isn't generally rendered "fornication."

It's translated that way in the KJV, but the KJV also translates a term meaning "rhinoceros" as "unicorn," so I take it with a grain of salt.

It is a very common teaching among Christian denominations, but the claim you made went quite a bit further. You said that "the New Testament prohibits sex outside or marriage and refers to it as fornication" and that Jesus would call Christians who have sex outside of marriage hypocrites.

Granted, maybe the NT is not clear on the matter....
Let's turn this ship around. If sex out of wedlock is not fornication how did that come to be a very common teaching among Christian denominations?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Right. I don't know your unique relationship with him. But to someone just scanning the thread, it came across as patronizing. Instead of addressing your comments, he gave you dating advice.

You're the one finding offense where there is none. I read her whole OP and a big part of it was about the issues with men on dating sites, and she's mentioned this multiple times in multiple threads. So, gee, how horrible of I to comment on something that she has been talking about for literally months.

Anyway, I find you're being unnecessarily rude to me but I am going to drop it because I'm not going to derail this thread with irrelevant bickering. It's just not a big deal.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

No, I have no problem with your advice because I consider you my friend.
Of course everyone on this forum doesn't know how I feel so it might appear different to them.

Thank you. That is very kind of you. God bless.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I was not making an argument. I was just passing along what I have read and what Christians have told me.

I find it hard to take you seriously when you refuse to accept responsibility for your own actions.

Granted, maybe the NT is not clear on the matter....
Let's turn this ship around. If sex out of wedlock is not fornication how did that come to be a very common teaching among Christian denominations?

I already told you: because until very recently, women were viewed as property and marriage was a transactional arrangement for breeding.

 

[Trailblazer]

I find it hard to take you seriously when you refuse to accept responsibility for your own actions.

What actions? I was only passing along what I understand about the Bible and Christian beliefs.

I already told you: because until very recently, women were viewed as property and marriage was a transactional arrangement for breeding.

No, I do not think that is the reason why sex out of wedlock is considered fornication. I think that belief is based upon what the Bible says.

What does the Bible say about fornication?​

 

[osgart]

Sex to me is a specific unique passionate love for the other person. It's unique. Otherwise without that particular passionate love for the other person it's just empty masturbation to have casual sex. Casual sex is meaningless. If you have unique passionate love for the other person then as a couple you'll have sex that fulfills. I don't see the need to experiment like when I was young. All that experimentation didn't do a thing for me. There's other ways of knowing or just working it out together.

There's people that I care about, people that I love, but I only had that unique passion for somebody once. To me sex isn't like eating food, or trying on clothes, so I don't feel like I'm missing a damn thing by not engaging in casual sex. The woman I see now I am very patient about it. I'm not desperate for a cheapo thing. I'm content to be friends, and I don't need to push or force things. Sex isn't a meat market thing. I think a lot of people are stupid about it. Some women want Mr. Dangerous, and then settle down with Mr. Security. I give no respect for the younger generations who want want want with no substance, nor personal responsibility. If everything is casual then how does any appreciation develope for the other. I guess some want an ego massage, and others desire substance. I don't think genetics means anything.

 

[Trailblazer]

Sex to me is a specific unique passionate love for the other person. It's unique. Otherwise without that particular passionate love for the other person it's just empty masturbation to have casual sex. Casual sex is meaningless.

Personally, I cannot understand why anyone would even want casual sex, since it is meaningless. I think the only reason people want casual sex is for physical pleasure. I no longer have any need for the physical pleasure that come with sex; although I once did, that was within marriage.

There's people that I care about, people that I love, but I only had that unique passion for somebody once.

Same here, but now he is no longer in this world. He is in the next world. I don't miss sex but I miss companionship, but unfortunately I cannot find any men who don't want sex, and I will never have sex out of wedlock.

 

[osgart]

Personally, I cannot understand why anyone would even want casual sex, since it is meaningless. I think the only reason people want casual sex is for physical pleasure. I no longer have any need for the physical pleasure that come with sex; although I once did, that was within marriage.

Same here, but now he is no longer in this world. He is in the next world. I don't miss sex but I miss companionship, but unfortunately I cannot find any men who don't want sex, and I will never have sex out of wedlock.

I was watching some videos about older people who were fiercely in love with their partners for a lifetime, and had wonderful lives. And I see younger people today and I think to myself why aren't they capable of that kind of thing. They must be living in their imaginations, and it just frustrates me. I know my one nephew has woman troubles and I feel bad that things are like they are.

 

[Trailblazer]

I was watching some videos about older people who were fiercely in love with their partners for a lifetime, and had wonderful lives. And I see younger people today and I think to myself why aren't they capable of that kind of thing. They must be living in their imaginations, and it just frustrates me. I know my one nephew has woman troubles and I feel bad that things are like they are.

I know a lot of older couples who have been married for 40 or 50 years. I was married for 37 years and I would still be married if he had not passed on.
Both supervisors I have had at my present job were married for close to 50 years and are still married, and my next door neighbor has been married for 50 years.

I am not sure if young people these days are incapable of getting married and remaining married, or if they just have not found the right person, but I believe that having sex out of wedlock only complicates the issue.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

Having sex out of wedlock cheapens sex and marriage.

It didn't for me.

I think that waiting until marriage to have sex is beneficial.

My first wife and I waited until marriage. She turned out to be sexually frigid. We also didn't cohabitate before marriage, and since we were both in the Army and lived in the barracks, I also didn't know that she couldn't cook and hated housework.

It turns out I bought a pig in a poke, and was disappointed. We later divorced.

Edit: just found this and had to share:

I cannot understand why anyone would even want casual sex, since it is meaningless. I think the only reason people want casual sex is for physical pleasure.

You answered your own question. I don't consider pleasure meaningless. In fact, like most people, I try to experience as much pleasure as I can while avoiding as much displeasure as I can. Of course, pleasure is not limited to sex. It's not even the main source of pleasure. Living a life relatively free of anxiety, privation, shame and regret while making a difference, tasting much of life (travel, restaurants, music, and the like), enjoying leisure, and enjoying the approbation and respect of others make for a pleasant life.

Lavenderism would probably say to energetically cleanse yourself somehow before and after sex, and casual sex is not actually looked down upon since it is said a person who dies a virgin may become a ghost that spies on people in bathrooms. They may even become an intranquil thetan and need to begin relationships with spirits or other ghosts in order to pass on.

That sounds like an interesting religion.

Spirits and gods are having ******* children all the time, and some gods have even had ******** with random humans creating hybrids.

And this is an interesting sentence. I don't know what the censored words are and can't think of any that make sense. Don't bother trying to explain. RF doesn't want you to.

 

[osgart]

I know a lot of older couples who have been married for 40 or 50 years. I was married for 37 years and I would still be married if he had not passed on.
Both supervisors I have had at my present job were married for close to 50 years and are still married, and my next door neighbor has been married for 50 years.

I am not sure if young people these days are incapable of getting married and remaining married, or if they just have not found the right person, but I believe that having sex out of wedlock only complicates the issue.

They should get to know each other real well before jumping into marriage, or sex. Something to be said for patience.

 

[Trailblazer]

It didn't for me.

My first wife and I waited until marriage. We turned out to be sexually frigid. We also didn't cohabitate before marriage, and since we both in the Army and lived in the barracks, I also didn't know that she couldn't cook and hated housework.

It turns out I bought a pig in a poke, and was disappointed. We later divorced.

I also had certain issues right after I got married, but since there was love we were able to overcome those issues.

As I explained in post #28:
Sexual incompatibility is not necessarily about different needs, it is about different desires but it can be more than that. Right after I got married I discovered that my husband did not know what to do, or he just did not want to do it, which basically amounted to the same thing. Being naive as I was I just expected him to know what to do and how to do it since he was a man. This caused a huge problem since I was really angry at him and he almost committed suicide on the honeymoon. It all worked out in the end after we saw a sex therapist, but he never wanted to be the dominant partner so I just had to adjust to that. Now, I really don't know how I would feel about a man orchestrating the sex act, I might feel very uncomfortable.

You answered your own question. I don't consider pleasure meaningless. In fact, like most people, I try to experience as much pleasure as I can while avoiding as much displeasure as I can. Of course, pleasure is not limited to sex. It's not even the main source of pleasure. Living a life relatively free of anxiety, privation, shame and regret while making a difference, tasting much of life (travel, restaurants, music, and the like), enjoying leisure, and enjoying the approbation and respect of others make for a pleasant life.

There is nothing wrong with pleasure, and the Baha'i Faith does not teach that we should avoid pleasure, only that we should not have sex out of wedlock.
You raise a good point. There are many other kinds of pleasure aside from sexual pleasure. I derive much pleasure from being with my cats, looking out my window at the birds and squirrels, walking in nature, watching certain TV programs, and reading and posting here. Life is not all about sex, but one would never know it the way some men act. My issue is not that men want sex, my issue is that is all they want, and they want it out of wedlock.

 

[Trailblazer]

They should get to know each other real well before jumping into marriage, or sex. Something to be said for patience.

The Baha'i Faith teaches that we should become acquainted with each other's character before we get married.

The Baháʼí teachings on marriage see it as an eternal bond that survives past the lives of the partners in the physical life, and into the spiritual worlds. Thus the teachings stress that during courting the partners must take the utmost care to become acquainted with each other's character.

Baháʼí marriage - Wikipedia​

Unfortunately, I did not know of that teaching before I got married, and we got married three weeks after we met. However, I was never wrong about his good character as I knew it before we got married, which is one thing that kept us together.

 

[osgart]

The Baha'i Faith teaches that we should become acquainted with each other's character before we get married.

The Baháʼí teachings on marriage see it as an eternal bond that survives past the lives of the partners in the physical life, and into the spiritual worlds. Thus the teachings stress that during courting the partners must take the utmost care to become acquainted with each other's character.

Baháʼí marriage - Wikipedia​

Unfortunately, I did not know of that teaching before I got married, and we got married three weeks after we met. However, I was never wrong about his good character as I knew it before we got married, which is one thing that kept us together.

That's great! I love a good love story!

 

[CG Didymus]

My first wife and I waited until marriage. She turned out to be sexually frigid. We also didn't cohabitate before marriage, and since we were both in the Army and lived in the barracks, I also didn't know that she couldn't cook and hated housework.

It turns out I bought a pig in a poke, and was disappointed. We later divorced.

You know we are talking about a religion where the founder had, I believe, three wives. God is fickle. But on top of that he, allegedly, created people with hormones to make them want to have sex. He put a bunch of nerves in the right places to make it feel good. Then he made it so a person has a big climatic thing happen at the end that is nothing like any other experience. And then God tells some of his messengers to tell people not to do it unless married, not to even touch themselves, and even had Jesus say not to look at a woman with lust in your heart.

Here's some stuff from the Baha'i Faith....

'Concerning your question whether there are any legitimate forms of expression of the sex instinct outside of marriage: According to the Baha'i Teachings no sexual act can be considered lawful unless performed between lawfully married persons. Outside of marital life there can be no lawful or healthy use of the sex impulse.​

​

"Masturbation is clearly not a proper use of the sex instinct, as this is understood in the Faith. Moreover it involves, as you have pointed out, mental fantasies, while Baha'u'llah, in the Kitab-i-Aqdas, has exhorted us not to indulge our passions and in one of His well-known Tablets Abdu'l-Baha encourages us to keep our 'secret thoughts pure'. Of course many wayward thoughts come involuntarily to the mind and these are merely a result of weakness and are not blameworthy unless they become fixed or even worse, are expressed in improper acts.​

 

[IndigoChild5559]

It didn't for me.

My first wife and I waited until marriage. She turned out to be sexually frigid. We also didn't cohabitate before marriage, and since we were both in the Army and lived in the barracks, I also didn't know that she couldn't cook and hated housework.

I found this humorous. Does ANYONE like housework?

 

[Trailblazer]

But on top of that he, allegedly, created people with hormones to make them want to have sex. He put a bunch of nerves in the right places to make it feel good. Then he made it so a person has a big climatic thing happen at the end that is nothing like any other experience.

There as a time when I belonged to Sexaholics anonymous. I used to think sex was such a big deal but I don't even care about it anymore. Orgasm is just a physical sensation that lasts a few seconds and then it is over. How one values that experience is determined by how they think about it. Once I realized sex was not important I stopped thinking about it or caring about it. I can thank the Writings of Baha'u'llah for that.

 

[Trailblazer]

You know we are talking about a religion where the founder had, I believe, three wives. God is fickle.

Baha'u'llah was a Muslim. It was customary to have several wives in Islam but it was not so men could have more sex.

Historians have noted that Islamic guidance on polygamy was issued amid wars in Arabia in the seventh century, when there were many widows and orphans requiring financial support, and that polygamy created a system for them to be cared for. Dec 7, 2020

Polygamy is rare around the world - Pew Research Center​