What is a Deal-Breaker for You?

[DharmaCatLamp]

Recently I have been browsing a certain dating app because it's fun to look at people's profiles. The thing I noticed is that a lot of people seem to have deal-breakers that ranged from reasonable to out and out silly. If you didn't support literally every single political movement they supported down to things like not wanting to go out drinking.

So this got me thinking, what are some of your deal-breakers? Not just for dating but friends and all that as well.

 

[SalixIncendium]

If the person is a member of any dating apps, I'm out.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

during the period between separating from my first wife and meeting my second, I gave it some serious consideration and came to the conclusion that you can't expect to find anyone compatible if you put up artificial barriers. Once I stopped saying 'must be' and 'must not be' and relaxed a little, I found it much easier to find potential partners...and quickly found she who is my love of several lifetimes.

 

[sun rise]

For a friend, I'd put it in a positive way first - having things in common. So the deal breaker that separates an acquaintance from a friend is someone I happen to know versus someone I consider a friend.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Recently I have been browsing a certain dating app because it's fun to look at people's profiles. The thing I noticed is that a lot of people seem to have deal-breakers that ranged from reasonable to out and out silly. If you didn't support literally every single political movement they supported down to things like not wanting to go out drinking.

So this got me thinking, what are some of your deal-breakers? Not just for dating but friends and all that as well.

The deal is to accept differences in the other person, letting them be them selves without trying to form them to "what I want"

 

[exchemist]

Recently I have been browsing a certain dating app because it's fun to look at people's profiles. The thing I noticed is that a lot of people seem to have deal-breakers that ranged from reasonable to out and out silly. If you didn't support literally every single political movement they supported down to things like not wanting to go out drinking.

So this got me thinking, what are some of your deal-breakers? Not just for dating but friends and all that as well.

I used to have 3 exclusions when I was looking for a girlfriend:-

- no smokers
- no vegetarians
- nobody I worked with (not directly, I mean. It could be - and sometimes was - someone I met at work, if she worked in a different department).

I did once bend the rules on the first one, when someone I met turned out to have the occasional cigarette, in the process of giving up.

As far as friends are concerned I don't have any rules, though obviously there are quite a lot of things that would make me unlikely to form much of a friendship.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

Recently I have been browsing a certain dating app because it's fun to look at people's profiles. The thing I noticed is that a lot of people seem to have deal-breakers that ranged from reasonable to out and out silly. If you didn't support literally every single political movement they supported down to things like not wanting to go out drinking. So this got me thinking, what are some of your deal-breakers? Not just for dating but friends and all that as well.

Being politically or religiously incompatible. Being a smoker. Powders or needles. Vices like gambling or spending irresponsibly. Dietary restrictions that I would be expected to adhere to as well (vegan, kosher). Disliking my dog or wanting it gone. Unruly kids or a dangerous and jealous ex.

I'm not saying that such people can't play a minor role in my life. My bridge partner might be a rabid Trumper, but if it never comes up in our interactions, it doesn't matter for that relationship. But for dating, it would be a deal killer if she showed up for the first date wearing a MAGA hat.

 

[VoidCat]

Im answering in regards to friend not as in dating...
If they abusive they out
No respect boundaries they gone.

I'm aware my bar for friends is quite low.

 

[syo]

Recently I have been browsing a certain dating app because it's fun to look at people's profiles. The thing I noticed is that a lot of people seem to have deal-breakers that ranged from reasonable to out and out silly. If you didn't support literally every single political movement they supported down to things like not wanting to go out drinking.

So this got me thinking, what are some of your deal-breakers? Not just for dating but friends and all that as well.

Stalkers.

 

[John53]

Recently I have been browsing a certain dating app because it's fun to look at people's profiles. The thing I noticed is that a lot of people seem to have deal-breakers that ranged from reasonable to out and out silly. If you didn't support literally every single political movement they supported down to things like not wanting to go out drinking.

So this got me thinking, what are some of your deal-breakers? Not just for dating but friends and all that as well.

Back in my single days, not having a pulse would have been the only deal breaker.

 

[DharmaCatLamp]

Im answering in regards to friend not as in dating...
If they abusive they out
No respect boundaries they gone.

I'm aware my bar for friends is quite low.

You might say that is quite low but in reality the amount of people I have known who would put up with constant abuse is pretty high. When I was younger, literally a decade ago now, I was hanging around with someone who claimed to be my friend but constantly abused me. Just constantly making remarks about how terrible I was or whatever. Eventually you either learn to not let people do that and move on or you might just get stuck in a lot of crappy situations. So I think that is a decent standard to have.

 

[DharmaCatLamp]

Being politically or religiously incompatible. Being a smoker. Powders or needles. Vices like gambling or spending irresponsibly. Dietary restrictions that I would be expected to adhere to as well (vegan, kosher). Disliking my dog or wanting it gone. Unruly kids or a dangerous and jealous ex.

I'm not saying that such people can't play a minor role in my life. My bridge partner might be a rabid Trumper, but if it never comes up in our interactions, it doesn't matter for that relationship. But for dating, it would be a deal killer if she showed up for the first date wearing a MAGA hat.

I have in the past tried to make things work with someone who was rather different than me in terms of politics. It sorta worked for a bit but eventually we realized you can't really do much if your world views just don't mesh.