What is the point of marrige?

[Ori]

I know that most of the responses will be that you are bonded forever with the one you love, but I don't see the point myself, especially with all the families that are torn apart by divorce and so on.
So what do you think?

 

[Mike182]

the bible prompts us that marriage is the only approvable state to have sex in and ot have children in

im not sure about other denominations of church - but i know that my church does not teach marriage to be the SECOND best way of life as described by paul - who states that it is best to be as he is (celibate)

marriage is the union of two people (man and woman) in the presence of God - and as such it is a vow of love never to be broken - ergo divorce is a massive breaking of this promise - along with adultery.

do people here think same sex marriages should be made legal and supported by the churchs? in all honesty i cannot see why not but im sure there are some good reasons why not

 

[Draka]

On one hand, legally it provides you with certain rights and benefits.

On the other, I heard this actually on the movie "Shall We Dance" and thought it was fabulous, ...giving witness to another's life. Agreeing to become a witness to your spouse's life and care about every aspect of their life. Saying that their life matters, if to know one else then to you.

I suppose you could say the same about just living together or handfasting or anything like that, but it is the actual ceremony and commitment that is involved in a marriage that cinches that commitment to each other.

Yes some marriages don't last. I know that all too well, being ending my second, but it still has not soured me on the whole prospect of marriage.

 

[michel]

The Christian view is as follows:-

In the Christian faith, marriage is viewed as a lifelong union of a man and a woman before God. One commonly used text is from the Gospel of Matthew (which is itself a quote from the book of Genesis).

"...For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19: 5-6 (quoting from Genesis 2:24) Virtually all Christian denominations frown on divorce, although some more harshly than others.

Christian marriage is seen by Saint Paul (especially Ephasians chapter 5) as paralleling the relationship between Christ and the Church, a theological view which is a development of the Old Testament view that saw a parallel between marriage and the relationship between God and Israel.

All major Christian groups take marriage to be a good thing. In 1 Timothy, Chapter 4, St. Paul talks of heretics who, among other things, "forbid marriage" and he describes their views as "doctrines of demons". At the same time, even though marriage is believed to be a good thing, Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy traditionally see an even greater value in celibacy when that celibacy is undertaken for the sake of a more singleminded devotion to God, but do not believe that everyone is called by God to this.

Source:- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_view_of_marriage

There is also a need for a civil union in England & Wales:-
It comes as a very big shock to many people to find out that there is no such thing in law as a common-law marriage. For reasons that go back to the Victorian age (and even before), a couple who do not marry but who decide to set up home together do not have the same rights as married couples. In fact, strictly speaking, when it comes to owning property together, the law at the moment treats unmarried couples just like any other Tom, Dick and Harry who have decided to own a property together. Property ownership has a number of tax advantages, but only the married can take advantage of these.


The big difficulties arise if the relationship ends. If you're married, you have the right to apply for 'ancillary relief' - financial settlements on divorce. Common-law spouses do not have this advantage and so have no route into asking the court to make provision for them in terms of pensions, life insurance, maintenance for themselves (as distinct from maintenance for children) and a number of other matters.
Source:- http://www.handbag.com/family/legaladvice/commonlaw/

There are also problems relating to bequests by the woman in the relationship - in that she might well not be able to leave any of her property to her blood-related children; the laws of intestacy come into play. Even if the Children or the partner can prove a claim, it is a horrendous task after the death of a loved one.

The other consideration is that a couple who live together, without being married are not totally mentally commiting to each other (There are of course exceptions - I know of one good stable non- marriage relationship of a member of this forum); that element of non- comitment can lead to the belief of 'oh well, if things go wrong, I can walk out' - not the best way to live.

 

[Draka]

do people here think same sex marriages should be made legal and supported by the churchs? in all honesty i cannot see why not but im sure there are some good reasons why not

Of course they should be legal...they are a couple wanting to be commited to each other and be afforded the same legal rights and benefits as any other couple. As for supported by the church...that is a religious factor...not a legal one. Just because a church does not recognize something that does not mean it is any less legal or valid a commitment.

 

[fromthe heart]

I know that most of the responses will be that you are bonded forever with the one you love, but I don't see the point myself, especially with all the families that are torn apart by divorce and so on.
So what do you think?

I think there is no better institute for a couple(man and woman) than the institute of marriage. Too many divorces? Yep! Folks just don't have a long enough period of engagement anymore to be certian this is what is right for thier life. The bonds of marriage don't seem to have the same intenseness anymore....could it be that we allow our kids to say they are 'going with' someone at such an early age they don't understand the significance of a commited relationship? Perhaps all the adults making mistakes is rubbing off on the younger set?

PLEASE don't laugh too hard but I'm about to say something very elderly ...Back when I was young we dated; got to know each other; then we went steady and got to know each other a little better...this is the stage where the break-ups should fall in place (not after marriage). When we were pretty certian we wanted to be committed to this person for a lifetime THEN we got engaged and set a date to become man and wife. I'm not sure where it all went wrong between then and now but it sure has in our disposable generation.

Now to my personal belief...IF you marry it is for LIFE!!! No divorce decree makes you less married in the eyes of God...following relationships after that are adultery. I also feel that in these situations for those who have made first (or more) bad choices,God will and does forgive but even though He does you will still one day stand before Him and explain why you screwed up.

Just my personal view...it doesn't have to be your's.

 

[michel]

Of course they should be legal...they are a couple wanting to be commited to each other and be afforded the same legal rights and benefits as any other couple. As for supported by the church...that is a religious factor...not a legal one. Just because a church does not recognize something that does not mean it is any less legal or valid a commitment.

This is a hard one for me; my compassion for those who are 'sexually orientated' in a different way from that which we call 'natural' is great - I do not personally think that their lifestyle is a matter of pure choice - there must be some drive for the orientation that is 'hard wired' in their personalities.

Thd Church cannot recognise the marriages; but there is no reason why a civil union should be denied them (IMO)

 

[Draka]

Now to my personal belief...IF you marry it is for LIFE!!! No divorce decree makes you less married in the eyes of God...following relationships after that are adultery. I also feel that in these situations for those who have made first (or more) bad choices,God will and does forgive but even though He does you will still one day stand before Him and explain why you screwed up.

Here's my explanation for my divorce from my ex-husband....he tried killing me twice! How about that? Good enough reason to divorce him?

 

[fromthe heart]

Here's my explanation for my divorce from my ex-husband....he tried killing me twice! How about that? Good enough reason to divorce him?

I know...it's really tough. He probably hid who he was from you and you didn't know until he had you...I know it happens way too much. I didn't mean to sound unsensitive in these situations really I didn't...My best friend was nearly killed by the man she married...but she didn't know him long enough before they got married either...but sometimes you could know someone or think you know them for a lifetime and it just happens. Please forgive my insensitivity Draka...No intent for harm to anyone was meant!

 

[Aqualung]

A non-religous reason people need to get married is because it strengthens their bond. They won't be so likely to go having affairs with people, and they will be more likely to compromise/work things out if their relationship is viewed by them as being a very long-term relationship, not just a live-in sort of thing where people can move out or things like that. Sure, they can still do that if they're married, but it is certainly not quite so easy to do if you have somnized it with marriage.

Also, I think gay marriages should not be allowed. Homosexuality is condemned by the Bible as a sinful state of mind, not some sort of inherent predisposition to that sort of behaviour, so they should not be allowed to marry in God's churches.

 

[michel]

Here's my explanation for my divorce from my ex-husband....he tried killing me twice! How about that? Good enough reason to divorce him?

I am so sorry to hear that Draka - no one should have to go through that; Ihave absolutely no reservation about divorce in your situation; are you 'Over' the trauma, or is there always some part of you that remembers?

 

[Scott1]

What is the point of marrige?
I know that most of the responses will be that you are bonded forever with the one you love, but I don't see the point myself, especially with all the families that are torn apart by divorce and so on.
So what do you think?

The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children. Christ the Lord raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament.

The CCC on marriage: http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm#1601

 

[SoyLeche]

This says it much better than I could...

The Family:
A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.
​

 

[Draka]

I am so sorry to hear that Draka - no one should have to go through that; Ihave absolutely no reservation about divorce in your situation; are you 'Over' the trauma, or is there always some part of you that remembers?

I remember pretty much everything he ever did to me...from every harsh degrading word spoken to every hit, kick, throw and choke. I remember it as a badge of what I have overcome and surpassed. Does it affect me now? ...only in the way that I know that I survived it and now know I can survive anything that comes my way. He only succeeded in making me stronger. Broken bones mend, bruises fade away...the mind takes a lot longer to heal...I will always have a part of me that is on gaurd to be hurt, but in the long run...I would rather have the physical abuse than the emotional and mental any day.