What is your go-to reaction when others vent to you about something?

[The Sum of Awe]

Or if someone just tells you about something grinding their gears in general?

My go-to reaction has always to try to give advice if I have any to give, but maybe that's not such a great idea unless they directly ask for it? I just know that I like hearing thoughts and advice when I vent from people who are willing to give their wisdom, but I'm starting to wonder if I've been offending people by doing this or coming off as a smart-***. At the same time it's so hard not to, I want to see this person overcome this and so naturally I want to suggest things that could potentially help them.

Sometimes I try to lighten the mood with a positive way of thinking about something. Maybe instead I should agree and so that they know that I'm not discrediting their attitude towards a certain thing that may be grinding their gears.

What is your reaction in these scenarios?

 

[JustGeorge]

It really depends on the person.

Some people want advice. Some people want an ear. Most people like questions(so they can further vent, and know you're listening).

Some want jokes or a lightened mood. Some want you to be somber with them.

You can usually figure it out by knowing the person and their reactions, or at the very least, the openness of their responses and possibly body language.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Or if someone just tells you about something grinding their gears in general?

My go-to reaction has always to try to give advice if I have any to give, but maybe that's not such a great idea unless they directly ask for it? I just know that I like hearing thoughts and advice when I vent from people who are willing to give their wisdom, but I'm starting to wonder if I've been offending people by doing this or coming off as a smart-***. At the same time it's so hard not to, I want to see this person overcome this and so naturally I want to suggest things that could potentially help them.

Sometimes I try to lighten the mood with a positive way of thinking about something. Maybe instead I should agree and so that they know that I'm not discrediting their attitude towards a certain thing that may be grinding their gears.

What is your reaction in these scenarios?

Let me think.....

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Let me think.....

Running away in nothing but underwear is my favorite go to as well.

 

[RabbiO]

Sometimes being a professional ventee comes with the territory.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Running away in nothing but underwear is my favorite go to as well.

Not to mention all the yelling. *grin*

 

[osgart]

My reaction is to let them vent and not to give any advice unless they fly off the rails and I see something where I know better. Mostly I just listen. When people vent it seems they just need ears and a little compassion.

Venting has to happen because people can go long stretches without any kindness, or without any breakthroughs.

That's all I see there.

 

[sayak83]

Or if someone just tells you about something grinding their gears in general?

My go-to reaction has always to try to give advice if I have any to give, but maybe that's not such a great idea unless they directly ask for it? I just know that I like hearing thoughts and advice when I vent from people who are willing to give their wisdom, but I'm starting to wonder if I've been offending people by doing this or coming off as a smart-***. At the same time it's so hard not to, I want to see this person overcome this and so naturally I want to suggest things that could potentially help them.

Sometimes I try to lighten the mood with a positive way of thinking about something. Maybe instead I should agree and so that they know that I'm not discrediting their attitude towards a certain thing that may be grinding their gears.

What is your reaction in these scenarios?

The venting I experience is usually from my spouse about myself.....

 

[Heyo]

Or if someone just tells you about something grinding their gears in general?

My go-to reaction has always to try to give advice if I have any to give, but maybe that's not such a great idea unless they directly ask for it? I just know that I like hearing thoughts and advice when I vent from people who are willing to give their wisdom, but I'm starting to wonder if I've been offending people by doing this or coming off as a smart-***. At the same time it's so hard not to, I want to see this person overcome this and so naturally I want to suggest things that could potentially help them.

Sometimes I try to lighten the mood with a positive way of thinking about something. Maybe instead I should agree and so that they know that I'm not discrediting their attitude towards a certain thing that may be grinding their gears.

What is your reaction in these scenarios?

 

[Heyo]

Or if someone just tells you about something grinding their gears in general?

My go-to reaction has always to try to give advice if I have any to give, but maybe that's not such a great idea unless they directly ask for it? I just know that I like hearing thoughts and advice when I vent from people who are willing to give their wisdom, but I'm starting to wonder if I've been offending people by doing this or coming off as a smart-***. At the same time it's so hard not to, I want to see this person overcome this and so naturally I want to suggest things that could potentially help them.

Sometimes I try to lighten the mood with a positive way of thinking about something. Maybe instead I should agree and so that they know that I'm not discrediting their attitude towards a certain thing that may be grinding their gears.

What is your reaction in these scenarios?

Seriously though ...

I always give advice - and sometimes offer to help carrying it out.
People learn not to bother me.

 

[JustGeorge]

Seriously though ...

I always give advice - and sometimes offer to help carrying it out.
People learn not to bother me.

That would likely have the opposite effect on me.

A lot of times, I could genuinely benefit from an extra person helping to carry something out. Not having enough arms is sometimes a very real problem.

 

[Heyo]

Not having enough arms is sometimes a very real problem.

That's the difference. You have real problems and you want real solutions.
@The Sum of Awe was talking about people who just want to vent and need someone to assist in them pity themselves without doing anything about it.

 

[PureX]

If they just want to vent I see no need to react.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

That's the difference. You have real problems and you want real solutions.
@The Sum of Awe was talking about people who just want to vent and need someone to assist in them pity themselves without doing anything about it.

It is hard to know the difference, especially when it is online. I guess there is nothing wrong with the way I was going about it, seems many here react similarly.

 

[Heyo]

seems many here react similarly.

That's because we are a self selected group.
I wouldn't say there is something wrong about our approach but it isn't what most people expect us to do. You may even get called a bad listener.