What I ultimately did fail at I had no choice but to accept. Having accepted failure prior failing would not have been productive at the time.
In certain circumstances, one must stay strong for others more importantly for oneself.
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What Kept You Going?
- Thread starter Debater Slayer
- Start date
In certain circumstances, one must stay strong for others more importantly for oneself.
One motivation has been the understanding that suffering and death can lead to growth and new life. Another has been my desire to be virtuous and not allow myself to be "defeated" by the difficulties of life.
I would disagree with my 16 year younger self as well. But I wasn't the person I am now. Experience has taught me a great deal.
How so, if you don't mind elaborating?
What does being virtuous entail per your worldview?
What was your philosophy, and how did it help (even if partially)?
I understand. I am sorry.
I know it sounds strange but... Christianity helps.
It does really well with suffering, and I know a lot of former Christians find it useful. There is something deeply moving about the story of Jesus and his disciples. It may just be cultural for me, but it helps to meditate and pray at the statues, icons and cross I have. I find giving up to those sufferings and pain works with these aids.
It does really well with suffering, and I know a lot of former Christians find it useful. There is something deeply moving about the story of Jesus and his disciples. It may just be cultural for me, but it helps to meditate and pray at the statues, icons and cross I have. I find giving up to those sufferings and pain works with these aids.
Accepting failure shouldn't happen until it's inexorable.
But planning ahead for the possibility is useful.
What you have done since. Has it helped a little?
I've long been a quiet admirer of Taoism, I think because it was descriptive rather than prescriptive of my experience. So, learning to accept what I cannot change and turning towards what I can change is a big one. Not getting attached to consistency in a world of constant change. Planning without becoming obsessed with planning. Learning to let go without trying so hard to let go I let go of everything. Becoming a type of stoic that doesn't also become cold and without any passion or empathy.
These kinds of concepts are important to me.
Thanks for answering in so much detail.
Suffering has long been recognized in multiple religious and philosophical traditions as a catalyst for growth and transformation. It can push us, if we let it, to see things in a different way or to change the way we live our lives for the better. In Christianity, of course the symbol for this is the cross, a symbol of death but paradoxically the way of salvation. In Buddhism, the symbol is the lotus flower, something beautiful that grows in mud.
That's a big question. To be virtuous means to do what's right or good, to exercise the virtues. Classically in Stoic thought the four cardinal virtues are courage, wisdom, temperance, and justice.
Not initially, because my knee-jerk reaction was to escape my feelings, but as my path unfolded and I spent time in more spiritual and philosophical pursuits, I was able to better understand how things work, and as result, I'm able to help others in similar situations and have become a better dad to my daughter, a good grandfather to my granddaughter, and a better all-around person. I'm also now able to separate myself from the experience to better speak about it to others.
Thanks for the elaboration!
I'm reading Thich Nhat Hanh's No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering. While I personally don't believe that suffering has any inherent purpose or meaning beyond what we give it, I see immense value in recognizing what we can and can't change and acting accordingly.
I suppose it's my turn to answer my own OP: family, friends, meditation, mindfulness, and this excerpt from the Bhaddekaratta sutta are keeping me going:
Bhaddekaratta Sutta: An Auspicious Day
Knowing it was temporary.
Because things change. Bad things come to an end, so do good things. Nothing is the same way forever.
I've found that whether you believe the purpose is inherent or not, what you choose to do with your suffering makes the difference in how it changes you.
I find it to be a significantly complex subject. I believe it is crucial to do one's best to grow and learn under all circumstances, which we seem to agree on. However, I'm also wary of telling or implying to anyone who is, say, a survivor of abuse or a violent crime that their suffering was anything positive. I'm not saying that this is your position here, to be clear; these are just my general thoughts and a part of why I view suffering as a fact of life rather than something to which I must attach a label.