What would you do ?

[michel]

I take my dog 'Jessie' out for a walk at eight o'clock..ish in the morning (depends on how long it takes for my arthritic joints to synchronise with my brain).
The last three mornings, I saw something very disturbing.
The first day, I saw a sleeping bag on the ground (under a tree, but in the open); there was just a head peeping out, dark glasses and a wooly hat. It unnerved me; I have been attacked (for fun) by teenagers before, most likely because I use crutches, and I am an obvious easy target.

I walked past him listening intently after I had passed him, in case he followed me. He did not.
He was there again the following day; I was 'communing' as usual, and asked for guidance about what action I should take, if any, about the guy. 'Everyone' was telling me to leave him alone; but through my own selfish need to satisfy myself that I was doing my best for the man, I stopped, and chatted to him. I told him about the shelters in town, food kitchens - the lot; Imade it my business to find out about these two or three years ago. He told me he had been thrown out of one shelter because he was an alcoholic; he had been diagnosed as schizophrenic in the past. I was temped to ask him to come home with me, to give him a good breakfast, but daren't - my wife would not have been 'amused'. Can't blame her.
In the end, he basically told me he wanted no help - and I had to walk away, feeling that I had somehow not 'tried hard enough' - helet me know, in no uncertain terms what he thought of Religion (When Imentioned one of the soup kitchens). This morning, I saw him again, zipped up tight in his sleeping bag. The temperature over the three nights was quite a few degrees below zero.
Could I have done better ? What would you have done ?

 

[Circle_One]

What you should do then, if he doesn't really wish for help is just one morning bring him a nice hot cup of soup, or coffee even, just to let him know, should he change his mind, you're willing to help.

 

[jimbob]

I agree with circle_one. its a good idea to show the guy some compasion, even if he doesn't want any. Maybe you could take him an old blanket you don't want anymore, so that his nights are a bit more comfortable, or something like that. I know a lot of homeless people (i volunteer at a homeless shelter) who say they are fine, but are really grateful for a friend, or the random act of kindness.

 

[Dr. Nosophoros]

You offered and he refused, what else can you do? I agree with Circle one, maybe stop by with a random cup of coffee or soup if it's on your route, but that's about it.

 

[Valjean]

Schizophrenia is a disorder of thought. He might be mentally unable to make rational decisions about his own life.

Where is he from? Does he have family that could make some arrangements for him?

 

[Scorn]

You've done what you can for him michel. His own nature will either lead him back to you or carry on as is. You cannot change it, but you can, as you did, offer. Job well done.

 

[Master Vigil]

I agree with the coffe or soup idea. People like that do really enjoy friendly compassion. Even if they don't show it.

 

[mrscardero]

In my country, we give to those in need even when they say they don't need our help.
They Thank you after you have given them food or things that they might need.

I would offer the man food and drinks. If he is sleeping, I would set it by him. I would give him things that he will/might need. Like an umbrella for the rainy days. Another sleeping bag for the cold nights. Hat, gloves, shoes, socks, a coat, addresses of places that he can go to for shelter, books to read, or maybe even a tent. It sounds like you can pretty much sleep outside without getting picked up by the police. Not here. You sleep on the bench, the coppers will take you in or tell you to move on or go home.

It's a dangerous world out there. One day it was raining really hard and when I was headed somewhere, I saw a man walking the opposite direction. When I was on my way back, I saw the same guy going the same direction as I. I stopped and gave him a lift. Even though he was soaking wet, from all the cars passing him and splashing him, I let him in my car. I know I should not have given the man a ride, but it was cold and rainning. He looked like he had been walking for hours. They say never pick up a hitchiker. Well, I did and the man got home safe to his wife and kids. He was on his way home. He had left his car at his job because it wouldn't start and he had no other way home but on his own two feet. He did not hold his thumb up to get a ride from anyone. I just happened to be a nice person to stop and give him a lift. He even offered me money for gas, but I refused.

 

[john313]

you have already done more than most are willing to do. I would recommend a tasty breakfast meal, something warm if it is that cold where you are, but not mcdonalds of course, something homemade. i would do that a few times and if he still wants nothing to do with anyone, then go your separate ways. He might have too much pride to admit to needing help, but when help (food and the like) is given you will be able to gauge his reaction and go from there.

 

[michel]

Thanks Guys; I'll take something with me this morning.

 

[michel]

I took your advice; I took him a thermos of coffee. He and I had a long chat; seems like he is to some extent his own worst enemy. He was talking about trying to get work - for which I obviously applauded him. He then said "Of course, I can't work more than 10 hours/day, because I'd loose my State benefits".

I don't know how much he gets; I would'nt ask. But he had an old Coke bottle full of some very wierd looking alcohol and was smoking a 'joint'.

What can society do for a chap such as he ?

 

[retrorich]

Michel, my friend, once again you have demonstrated what a generous, caring and thoughtful person you are. I certainly would like to meet you in person some day for a cup of tea (or something a bit stronger) and a game of Scrabble. Frubals to you, simply for being you.

 

[Sunstone]

**MOD POST** Moving this to Off Topic Discussions

 

[michel]

Well, after all this time, I'm still trying.........

I only see this chap once or twice a week, and it has taken all this time to get him to talk at all. This morning, however, I could see him, going through his usual OCD 'ritual' with his car, and for the first time, he looked up and greeted me -of his own volition!

It was obviously hard for him; he fumbled a bit with his keys as he spoke to me, but at least, he did!- at this rate 'getting to know him' as from your advice is going to take a VERY long time!

 

[anders]

A person like that, in Sweden, would on numerous occasions have had to refuse the offers by the Social Services office of the local community. So, we (the community) would leave them alone, but regularily check on them to see to that they won't be hit by some kind of condition requiring hospital care.

I once encountered a man living in a tent in a Stockholm wood area when walking (well, actually running; she was an Irish setter) my dog. A nice chat, but it was quite clear that he wanted no interference. Later, I understood that he was well known by the authorities, and that him being no problem for anyone else, they just kept a discrete eye on him in case he would need help.

 

[Scuba Pete]

The best thing you can give anyone are your prayers.

 

[Fluffy]

I took your advice; I took him a thermos of coffee. He and I had a long chat; seems like he is to some extent his own worst enemy. He was talking about trying to get work - for which I obviously applauded him. He then said "Of course, I can't work more than 10 hours/day, because I'd loose my State benefits".

I don't know how much he gets; I would'nt ask. But he had an old Coke bottle full of some very wierd looking alcohol and was smoking a 'joint'.

What can society do for a chap such as he ?

Replacing state benefits with a citizens pay check would help, then he wouldn't lose it when he got a job and would be more encouraged into getting work. He would be able to survive in his sleeping bag forever on this amount of money but somehow I think he might aspire to a bit more than that.

 

[michel]

Replacing state benefits with a citizens pay check would help, then he wouldn't lose it when he got a job and would be more encouraged into getting work. He would be able to survive in his sleeping bag forever on this amount of money but somehow I think he might aspire to a bit more than that.

I might be being dense, but by citizen's paycheck are you advocating some sort of system - Communist-like - in which people would be given enough to live on, without working?

 

[Sabio]

I take my dog 'Jessie' out for a walk at eight o'clock..ish in the morning (depends on how long it takes for my arthritic joints to synchronise with my brain).
The last three mornings, I saw something very disturbing.
The first day, I saw a sleeping bag on the ground (under a tree, but in the open); there was just a head peeping out, dark glasses and a wooly hat. It unnerved me; I have been attacked (for fun) by teenagers before, most likely because I use crutches, and I am an obvious easy target.

I walked past him listening intently after I had passed him, in case he followed me. He did not.
He was there again the following day; I was 'communing' as usual, and asked for guidance about what action I should take, if any, about the guy. 'Everyone' was telling me to leave him alone; but through my own selfish need to satisfy myself that I was doing my best for the man, I stopped, and chatted to him. I told him about the shelters in town, food kitchens - the lot; Imade it my business to find out about these two or three years ago. He told me he had been thrown out of one shelter because he was an alcoholic; he had been diagnosed as schizophrenic in the past. I was temped to ask him to come home with me, to give him a good breakfast, but daren't - my wife would not have been 'amused'. Can't blame her.
In the end, he basically told me he wanted no help - and I had to walk away, feeling that I had somehow not 'tried hard enough' - helet me know, in no uncertain terms what he thought of Religion (When Imentioned one of the soup kitchens). This morning, I saw him again, zipped up tight in his sleeping bag. The temperature over the three nights was quite a few degrees below zero.
Could I have done better ? What would you have done ?

Michel, You have done the right thing! You made yourself available, as a vessel of God. You were open to God's leading and I'm sure He is well pleased with you!

Blessings

Sabio

 

[Fluffy]

I might be being dense, but by citizen's paycheck are you advocating some sort of system - Communist-like - in which people would be given enough to live on, without working?

I don't know about advocating but I could certainly see something like that solving a situation in which you found yourself. The man you are talking to is stuck between living a minimal existence or an even worse existence with nothing but hope that it will eventually pay off. At least with a citzen's paycheck you would not get benefit fraud, scrounching or a lack of encouragement to work. There could be unforeseen consequences of it, however.