What's the worse meal you ever created?

[Sunstone]

What has been your worse meal idea ever? I ask this question as a bachelor contemplating making a macaroni salad with ranch dressing. For some reason, I'm at a loss for any idea of whether this salad will turn out to be edible.

The worse meal I cooked was many years ago... I did it with my brother. I was about eight years old at the time and my brother was a year younger. We decided to make an omlet, but had no idea what should go into it except for the eggs. So we came up with a theory that we should put some of each spice mom had in her spice cabinet into the omlet....

We couldn't eat the omlet, and threw it out in the back yard. Our cat tasted it, and promptly ran away from home.

 

[No*s]

Most people won't eat anything I cook. They always get sick, so the best question for me is how many good meals have I made .

 

[martha]

Ooh, ooh, I know this answer!

When I was a young girl I found a cookbook with a recipe for stuffed cabage. I bought all the ingredients and proceeded to mix them together. It seemed odd at first that there was not much meat and there were a lot of breadcrumbs. Oh well, I thought, it is in a cookbook, so it must be good. To give the moral of the story in advance, I will say, don't believe everything you read!

When the food was finished I tasted these little stuffed cabages. Good gracious, these things were horrible. I tried to give one to my dog and even he turned up his nose at them. Now that's saying something!
I went back to the cookbook. Much to my dismay, I realized that this was a WPA cookbook. That means it was a cookbook that was created for the people during the Great Depression. There was not much meat to go around, so they used breadcrumbs to fill out the dish. My goodness, what a distinctly disgusting mushy fare it was. I have never made stuffed cabbage again. That recipe totally turned me off that day.

By the way there are some good recipes on this forum. Perhaps you could go to the search button and type in the word "recipe", I am sure it will bring up the thread that I remember going to. There is some really good stuff there to savor.
Martha

 

[Feathers in Hair]

When I was a young girl, we had fig trees growing in the backyard. Somehow, I got it into my head that the way to make fig jelly was to simply squish the fruit into sub-atomic particle sized bits and then stuff it in a jar. Well, of course, this involved stomping the figs with my bare feet, getting the fig-bits thouroughly enmeshed in my skirt. I scraped the goo off the sidewalk, where I had thoughtfully laid the figs, and put it into a cup.

No one would eat it. I was very sad.

 

[Melody]

What has been your worse meal idea ever? I ask this question as a bachelor contemplating making a macaroni salad with ranch dressing. For some reason, I'm at a loss for any idea of whether this salad will turn out to be edible.

ROFL.....it will be pretty tasty if you like ranch dressing! Why not do it the usual way or are you out of mayonnaise? My favorite macaroni salad is nothing more than the cooked macaroni with a dollop of Miracle Whip and an equal dollop of Mayonnaise, some Lawry's seasoned salt and Salad Supreme sprinkled in.

I've been cooking for 3 brothers and a sister since I was 9 and I'm sure there must have been a bad meal in there somewhere but it was too long ago to remember!

No my husband (who is also an excellent cook) made a dish in our first year of marriage with mandarins, fish and rice. Even the cat wouldn't eat it.

Melody

 

[Bastet]

I made something once a couple years ago, but I have no idea what it was now...I just remember taking one bite, and throwing it in the bin cause it was so bad. That's what happens when you're desperately hungry and raid your cupboards...

Ooh, I something I made not too long ago that was really bad...a miserably failed attempt at golden syrup dumplings. I had the stove up too high, and didn't realise until the smoke detector went off and the syrup had gone black and hard, along with the dumplings, which resembled stone. The saucepan is still sitting on my kitchen table, I've tried everything to get it clean, but it's permanently black. I'm still craving those bloody dumplings.

 

[Scuba Pete]

The Top Ten Cooking Rules I have learned the hard way:

1) Don't substitute baking soda for baking powder.

2) You can't make pudding with powdered milk

3) Drain blueberries BEFORE you put them in pancakes. Sure they taste great, but they look like portland cement.

4) Only flambe' outside.

5) Never light a gas stove with an open container of gas nearby.

6) Never put an unopened can of beans in a really hot fire.

7) You can put too much flour in a stew.

8) Do not microwave damp nylon socks.

9) Recipes that work great in camp, may not be appreciated at home.

10) If you buy a "1/4 cow" from a friend, the chances are you will have to butcher it yourself.

 

[Melody]

4) Only flambe' outside.

Oh yeah....I'll second this one. One of my favorite recipes is whiskey chicken which involves pouring a cup of Jack Daniels over the chicken and lighting it. I was very careful about checking what was above the pan since the flames shoot a good 2 feet in the air...but I forgot that the flames give off the heat of a blowtorch and melted the front of the microwave which sat about 6" away.

Melody

 

[FyreBrigidIce]

Most things that I try to make for the first time turn out rotten.

When I was with my 6 year olds father we tried mixing macaroni and cheese with stuffing. EWWWWW I will save you all from telling you what the taste reminding me of.

 

[Ceridwen018]

NetDoc, I wanted to frubalize you for your post, but it said I had to 'spread some more around'. Anyhow, that was hilarious!

The only bad thing I've ever made that I can remember, is this Alfredo sauce that I made all by myself a while ago. I didn't use a recipe--just my own little noggin. Well, the parmesan I used was a bit on the old side, and apparently radioactive, because it wouldn't melt. My sauce turned out lumpy and gross!

 

[Scuba Pete]

Did you stir your noggin in well???

And uh, thanks for the kind words, but most weren't so funny when they happened. I still have scars from the open gas can deal.

 

[Simon the Cat]

Worse meals - Hmmm. There was the chicken that I embalmed in rosemary (no one ate rosemary for years after that chicken) - the coleslaw that was mostly onions and mayo. Most everything else is o.k. if not really good. My mother once cooked a roast beef with the little plastic tissue that soaks up blood still on it. It smelled horrible and no one would eat it either....

 

[painted wolf]

when making turkey burgers for the grill...one egg is good.. two eggs are bad.
as for bad cooks... my old collage roomie, was the worst cook I ever met. She literally burnt water, boiling it untill the pan was dry and cracked. She did cook a mean grilled cheeze on her iron. (apartently the trick was not to use the steam setting)

wa:do

 

[Bastet]

Worse meals - Hmmm. There was the chicken that I embalmed in rosemary (no one ate rosemary for years after that chicken)

My stepfather once did a roast lamb with what he thought was rosemary...it was lavender.

 

[Bastet]

She did cook a mean grilled cheeze on her iron.

Saw Johnny Depp do that in a movie once...

 

[Melody]

She did cook a mean grilled cheeze on her iron. (apartently the trick was not to use the steam setting)

wa:do

So that's what I did wrong! {note to self - no steam}

Melody

 

[Sunstone]

So that's what I did wrong! {note to self - no steam}

Melody

Because steam is a known factor in successfully ironing out wrinkles, you just won't see too many Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwiches which were cooked on household irons while using the steam setting. Melody, by using steam, you have probably destroyed tens of thousands of dollars worth of Virgin Marys. Just a thought.

 

[FyreBrigidIce]

Saw Johnny Depp do that in a movie once...

Yummmmmmmm Johnny Depp......... Yummy yummy yummy

Ok ok just wanted to actually say that yes he did it and for anyone who wishes to know which movie, it was Benny and June.

 

[Bastet]

Yummmmmmmm Johnny Depp......... Yummy yummy yummy

Ok ok just wanted to actually say that yes he did it and for anyone who wishes to know which movie, it was Benny and June.

That's 'Benny and Joon'.

 

[FyreBrigidIce]

oops. ROFL

At least I had it rhyming even if it was misspelled. :biglaugh: