Just_me_Mike
Well-Known Member
Before I leave for a rest of the afternoon meeting, I would like to share something.
I often wonder when playing with my kids, and enjoying my wife's company, why go through this, if it is for nothing? My brain or heart or something refuses to let go of the idea that there is something after death. As everyone knows right now I conclude that it is the story of the bible, but it could just as well be something else for others.
At any rate, before I was married, I lived, well a very free life. I group up with no particilar moral teachings, and experienced life to the fullest.
I have traveled almost the entire coutry of the US by the time I was 21. I have gone out of the country to see other cultures.
When I was 14 I had such a longing for the truth I started absorbing any thing I could find on philosophy, psychology, religion, etc... I was very fond of Native American ideologies, and even took mescaline and acid to experience what they might have experienced (yes starting at age 14). After this I graduated into Zen, Budha, Hindu, and other areas of Asiatic thought process.
I had lots of sex, broke the law, I was even in a rock band for most of my teenage years (guitarists). When I was 21, I ended up in prison out in the Mohave Desert, and spent a year examing my life. While in there I met a councilor that taught me psychotherapy (he was not an inmate, but staff). So after I got out a year or so later on good behavior, I went back to the east coast, and continued studying Psychotherapy, even considered a profession at this, but lost interest.
I then started studying law, and got bored. I then looked into the anatomical structure, and began looking into the medical field.
I then realized that because of my condition I was only interested in the medical field to try and fix myself. I was born with no left eye, or left ear. When I was 12, the doctors cut me open and took ribs to try and fix my face, and as a result left me with an unbalanced skeletal structure. The missing ribs never effected my performance, but was uncomfortable. So I studied enough Kinesiology, and related topics to better understand how our bodies work, and how I might improve my comfort level, as doctors didn't offer much.
Early on I was into marital arts because I could not do group sports for obvious reasons, so I did gymnastics, and martial arts. To date, I have competed in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournaments, and always place pretty well.
At about age 15 I was exposed to Bruce Lee, and his interpretation of asian arts, and philosophy has always guided my life, and then I ran into William Durants collection indirectly from Bruce Lee's Estate Company.
OK so I have said a lot, and if you made it this far, I said all that to say this. Life is so hard, and is sometimes harder for some than others. If in fact I believed that there were no consequences to my actions in this life, and that it is all at the most mystical, or just fades to black, than what is the point? Why works so damn hard at anything?
Temporary love is the most awful thing on this planet. Though I am skipping all over the place, I cant help but wonder what those who believe in nothing really think about right before they die, if they have time to think at all, or have their faculties.
There just has to be something else out there, for you and for me, and for my kids sake, and for all thr precious lives we interact with everyday. I simply have to believe... As some of you well know I am here on this forum trying to debunk my beliefs, looking for solid proof against my beliefs, but just keep running up a steep mountain that is full of loose gravel.
I often wonder when playing with my kids, and enjoying my wife's company, why go through this, if it is for nothing? My brain or heart or something refuses to let go of the idea that there is something after death. As everyone knows right now I conclude that it is the story of the bible, but it could just as well be something else for others.
At any rate, before I was married, I lived, well a very free life. I group up with no particilar moral teachings, and experienced life to the fullest.
I have traveled almost the entire coutry of the US by the time I was 21. I have gone out of the country to see other cultures.
When I was 14 I had such a longing for the truth I started absorbing any thing I could find on philosophy, psychology, religion, etc... I was very fond of Native American ideologies, and even took mescaline and acid to experience what they might have experienced (yes starting at age 14). After this I graduated into Zen, Budha, Hindu, and other areas of Asiatic thought process.
I had lots of sex, broke the law, I was even in a rock band for most of my teenage years (guitarists). When I was 21, I ended up in prison out in the Mohave Desert, and spent a year examing my life. While in there I met a councilor that taught me psychotherapy (he was not an inmate, but staff). So after I got out a year or so later on good behavior, I went back to the east coast, and continued studying Psychotherapy, even considered a profession at this, but lost interest.
I then started studying law, and got bored. I then looked into the anatomical structure, and began looking into the medical field.
I then realized that because of my condition I was only interested in the medical field to try and fix myself. I was born with no left eye, or left ear. When I was 12, the doctors cut me open and took ribs to try and fix my face, and as a result left me with an unbalanced skeletal structure. The missing ribs never effected my performance, but was uncomfortable. So I studied enough Kinesiology, and related topics to better understand how our bodies work, and how I might improve my comfort level, as doctors didn't offer much.
Early on I was into marital arts because I could not do group sports for obvious reasons, so I did gymnastics, and martial arts. To date, I have competed in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournaments, and always place pretty well.
At about age 15 I was exposed to Bruce Lee, and his interpretation of asian arts, and philosophy has always guided my life, and then I ran into William Durants collection indirectly from Bruce Lee's Estate Company.
OK so I have said a lot, and if you made it this far, I said all that to say this. Life is so hard, and is sometimes harder for some than others. If in fact I believed that there were no consequences to my actions in this life, and that it is all at the most mystical, or just fades to black, than what is the point? Why works so damn hard at anything?
Temporary love is the most awful thing on this planet. Though I am skipping all over the place, I cant help but wonder what those who believe in nothing really think about right before they die, if they have time to think at all, or have their faculties.
There just has to be something else out there, for you and for me, and for my kids sake, and for all thr precious lives we interact with everyday. I simply have to believe... As some of you well know I am here on this forum trying to debunk my beliefs, looking for solid proof against my beliefs, but just keep running up a steep mountain that is full of loose gravel.
to utterly destroy this "satanic" creature that fousts itself upon the universe as THE TRUE creator/overseer.
