Wifely submission, obedience has been indicated from the Genesis account with Adam and Eve. Part of Eve's sin was her lack of respect for her husband. He, not God, had told her what God had told him about the forbidden fruit. Yet. she went ahead and followed her own ideas. This problem surely is ever-present even in today's Christian and Jewish marriages.
I was waiting for somebody to come in and spell out the rebelliousness of women because it was all Eve's fault. I hope you realize that perspectives such as this created the scapegoating culture that we continue to see to this day where any fault of a husband is blamed on his wife. She didn't listen, obey, respect, honor, love enough...and this placed the entire family and the marriage in a bad place.
Scapegoating is a dangerous practice, and one that results in the dehumanization of women in this manner. Dehumanization results in assault, rape, and murder among other things. I think one must be very very careful when painting with such a broad brush.
However, the problem is how far, in what ways should the wife be submissive!
Does the husband's ideas of what the wife can do count, or should scripture count! Clearly, scripture supersedes the husbands ideas.
What then does scripture indicate? That our Lord, Christ Jesus, gave his life for his wifely church just as a man should love his wife. Does this smack of tyranny? In no way. It is the way of love. In Proverbs 31 we see this woman being praised, this wife, being the reason the husband is respected among the important people of his city, that she conducts business, and much more. We see her being praised up and down in scripture.
Is she then some kind of worker, slave, in the household. In no way. If the husband loves his wife, he will help her with the chores around the house instead of letting her do all the work and being a bump in the sofa just using her to get beer, coffee, and so forth. I could go on, but must be brief.
Sounds great until it's put in practice. Who decides when he is being a bump in the sofa, if he has praised her up and down enough, if he has expressed love to her enough?
In these cases, it is the perspective and the "leadership" of the husband who decides if he has loved her enough or if he really is treating her like a slave.
Ever read the stories of the women who escaped the Quiverfull movement? The ones who take the male headship from the Bible
to the letter? It's horrific. The abuse, rape, and sometimes torture at the hands of their ex-husbands who claim headship in all spheres of the family's public and private lives is not to be taken lightly.
Then, in what ways should she be submissive? In that when important matters are being discussed, and things are carefully planned, accepting that his decision about how to proceed is what counts unless it is against scripture and her conscience. The husband whose wife is smarter than he, will, if he acts out of love, recognize this and listen to her thoughts so as perhaps make an important decision that accepts her wisdom and do as she suggest. In Abraham's case, God told him once in an important case to do as Sarah wanted! This shall not happen to most in that fashion, but perhaps with prayerful consideration, something will indicate which way is best. Yet, it is the husband's choice, not the wife's.
Who decides if his decision is against scripture?
Who decides if a decision is against her conscience is really a matter of ethics or if a wife is simply in rebellion?
Do you really know what happens in these conversations? If the husband must always be the one to make a final decision...on everything...and considers himself as always acting out of love, this places his wife in a very very bad predicament and one where her conscience is considered wrong if not in line with his.
This most wives cannot accept, unfortunately.
Damned straight most wives don't accept that. And it's
very fortunate we don't accept that. There was a reason why domestic violence shelters were opened beginning a couple generations ago. It's because these types of relatonships when left unchecked open themselves to all kinds of abuse of power.
Most people, men and women, are
happy to have more give-and-take with each other. Power-distinct relationships are not as common as egalitarian relationships.
Did you know there was such a thing?