Where ever you go...

[Gargovic Malkav]

My husband is thrilled, which is why most of it is happening. The compromise is: stay out of my kitchen. That is my workshop and my area(I really love to cook), and the only one who needs to like it is me. And I do. The kids don't really know the difference. Its just more changes; temporarily fun, and then we tear it up. (Two of my kids have special needs, and can be more destructive than your typical child.) On a positive note, its showing me that my house isn't mine and forcing a bit of nonattachment...

I find having a social outlet helps. When I can put feelings and faces to 'the others', I understand that I'm a part of a greater whole, and while I may not like being a round peg in a square hole, I can at least develop fondness for all of the square pegs out there for whom the holes are made. When I get too isolated, I get bitter. This can be difficult to combat in a somewhat 'keep to yourself' region of the US.

Religious practices and my relationships with my gods help as well. Sometimes the difficulties keep me on track for what I believe is the greater purpose.

I can imagine that RF is one of your social outlets.
It may not be the same as interacting with people in person, but it's something.

 

[JustGeorge]

I can imagine that RF is one of your social outlets.
It may not be the same as interacting with people in person, but it's something.

RF helps.

You're right, its not the same as face to face, but its good to have some kind of community either way.

 

[Heyo]

Does this mean you kind of fade into the background?

Yes. It fluctuates and I don't know why. But when it's really on I can walk past someone controlling tickets without showing one - and be overlooked by a barkeeper until everyone else is served even though I was there almost from the beginning.
It even works on RF. Some days, I can post the most brilliant, unique solutions to a problem and get ignored. Knowing that I try to be a bit more personal without committing an ad hominem (and veer off in one direction or another).
I know about the multiple levels of communication but I never really got the knack of the emotional level.

 

[Heyo]

Well, then...ya gotta look meaner! Assert yourself!

(Jus kiddin’)

People need to really annoy me before I think it is worth to get angry. But when I do, you don't want to experience that again.

 

[JustGeorge]

Yes. It fluctuates and I don't know why. But when it's really on I can walk past someone controlling tickets without showing one - and be overlooked by a barkeeper until everyone else is served even though I was there almost from the beginning.
It even works on RF. Some days, I can post the most brilliant, unique solutions to a problem and get ignored. Knowing that I try to be a bit more personal without committing an ad hominem (and veer off in one direction or another).
I know about the multiple levels of communication but I never really got the knack of the emotional level.

I'm surprised to hear you feel ignored sometimes on RF! I find you to be one of the more notable posters.

I suppose sometimes being invisible is convenient(and cheaper), but it would get old at others times...

People need to really annoy me before I think it is worth to get angry. But when I do, you don't want to experience that again.

Have you got a bad temper, when it does eventually blow?

 

[Viker]

People need to really annoy me before I think it is worth to get angry. But when I do, you don't want to experience that again.

Actual footage.

 

[Heyo]

I'm surprised to hear you feel ignored sometimes on RF! I find you to be one of the more notable posters.

Thank you, I try to be.

Have you got a bad temper, when it does eventually blow?

Sometimes, but usually I'm calm when the last straw hits.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

I like to talk, too! I spent so many years with social anxiety that when I finally found my voice, I felt like a toddler who could finally ask for seconds...

What do you speak publicly about, if you don't mind me asking?

Different topics, mostly related to the Bible and how following it’s guidelines can help us build happy families and strong relationships w/ others, cope with depression, keep a balanced view of material things, etc.... a lot of “how to”s.

But also on religious subjects like the Resurrection, how Jehovah God’s Kingdom will bring relief for mankind, the importance of forgiveness & mercy, developing spiritual qualities like love & self control, and many others.


Take care, my cousin.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

It even works on RF.

I'm not one of the more popular people, either. I create my own popularity, sure. I make threads like the "KATatopia" one. But when I joined the forum, I could post a mildly controversial opinion, and be grilled for 16 pages, whereas these days, I think the people who generally disagree with me, already consider me too much a lost cause to debate with.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

It even works on RF.

Also, I do have my theories why some might get more attention than others on RF, assuming they do and it's not just us overthinking the matter. The conclusion I've come to is that the most attention gets paid to the members people worry about. So if you're not a new member, you'll get less attention. And if you're mentally strong, you'll get less attention because people aren't worrying about you having anxiety, etc. And if you have your beliefs all worked out, people don't have to worry that when you believe X, that you might be being led astray.

 

[JustGeorge]

But when I joined the forum, I could post a mildly controversial opinion, and be grilled for 16 pages, whereas these days, I think the people who generally disagree with me, already consider me too much a lost cause to debate with.

We could also be getting old and complacent.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I believe @JustGeorge mentioned in the OP about being considered intimidating. I actually consider being considered intimidating as having a pretty equal list of pros and cons. It's great for not being messed with, and for being one of the guys. It's bad for if a person like me were to have it, and wished to have an active dating life, or was seeking a job. In my opinion.

 

[JustGeorge]

I believe @JustGeorge mentioned in the OP about being considered intimidating. I actually consider being considered intimidating as having a pretty equal list of pros and cons. It's great for not being messed with, and for being one of the guys. It's bad for if a person like me were to have it, and wished to have an active dating life, or was seeking a job. In my opinion.

This is all pretty true.

I never had an active dating life, really... I think in my adult life, I was single perhaps a few months, half a year tops... So it wasn't that I wasn't seeing anyone. I was just taken.

Though there was a time in between the last boyfriend and my husband in which the idea of dating scared me. Everything is so casual and physical now... and I wasn't. I was worried that I wouldn't find anyone because I couldn't do the whole casual sex thing. Luckily, I didn't ponder on it too long... then I got married.

I wonder how employment would go. I think it would depend on who's hiring you...

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

This is all pretty true.

I never had an active dating life, really... I think in my adult life, I was single perhaps a few months, half a year tops... So it wasn't that I wasn't seeing anyone. I was just taken.

Though there was a time in between the last boyfriend and my husband in which the idea of dating scared me. Everything is so casual and physical now... and I wasn't. I was worried that I wouldn't find anyone because I couldn't do the whole casual sex thing. Luckily, I didn't ponder on it too long... then I got married.

I wonder how employment would go. I think it would depend on who's hiring you...

As a cis male (in the past), I was intimidating to others for some reason. However, I'm working towards, as part of becoming more feminine - also being less intimidating. One can be a trans female and a tomboy, sure. But for some of my future goals, as well as how I like to look - I'll be hitting the blush / rouge pretty hard, so to speak.

I still wear boy clothes, though if you're like me and look a bit like Melissa McCarthy in figure/face currently, you can just about pull it off. Some others can't as part of being considered super feminine.

 

[JustGeorge]

As a cis male (in the past), I was intimidating to others for some reason. However, I'm working towards, as part of becoming more feminine - also being less intimidating. One can be a trans female and a tomboy, sure. But for some of my future goals, as well as how I like to look - I'll be hitting the blush / rouge pretty hard, so to speak.

I still wear boy clothes, though if you're like me and look a bit like Melissa McCarthy in figure/face currently, you can just about pull it off. Some others can't as part of being considered super feminine.

It seems being approachable to women(as friends) is largely about body language... at least that's what I'm being told and what I've observed. I think its harder for a more reserved woman to connect with other women. Its not that it can't be done(of course it can), its just that it seems harder.

What does being feminine mean to you, outside of appearance?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

What does being feminine mean to you, outside of appearance?

It probably won't be a subject I can tackle tonight. It's midnight here and my words get really sloppy around that time.

It seems being approachable to women(as friends) is largely about body language... at least that's what I'm being told and what I've observed. I think its harder for a more reserved woman to connect with other women. Its not that it can't be done(of course it can), its just that it seems harder.

One of us or both of us might be tired. I'm not sure on what you're commenting on, unless you're assuming the goal I mentioned was to fellowship with other women. My goal isn't that. My goal involves Eros (not the board) or crazy things I'm probably too old to be doing. Things they do on the TV show 'Golden Girls'.

 

[JustGeorge]

It probably won't be a subject I can tackle tonight. It's midnight here and my words get really sloppy around that time.



One of us or both of us might be tired. I'm not sure on what you're commenting on, unless you're assuming the goal I mentioned was to fellowship with other women. My goal isn't that. My goal involves Eros (not the board) or crazy things I'm probably too old to be doing. Things they do on the TV show 'Golden Girls'.

I think I was just musing a bit on women... it always seemed like a club I couldn't belong to. Nothing important, though... Just random ramblings.

Yeah, things do get sloppy for many around midnight. My words are still okay(most of the time), but midnight is the time where I just say "forget this" to just about anything else...

Which Golden Girl would you be?

 

[Heyo]

Also, I do have my theories why some might get more attention than others on RF, assuming they do and it's not just us overthinking the matter. The conclusion I've come to is that the most attention gets paid to the members people worry about. So if you're not a new member, you'll get less attention. And if you're mentally strong, you'll get less attention because people aren't worrying about you having anxiety, etc. And if you have your beliefs all worked out, people don't have to worry that when you believe X, that you might be being led astray.

Interesting hypothesis. I think it has more to do with the idea proposed. E.g. "creationism vs evolution". It's a well trodden path, everyone has a position and knows how to argue it. Bring an argument that is truly new and nobody knows to deal with it. So it will be ignored, maybe it goes away.

 

[JustGeorge]

Bring an argument that is truly new and nobody knows to deal with it. So it will be ignored, maybe it goes away.

That's a good point. Honestly, I see that a lot, both on RF and in the Real World.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Which Golden Girl would you be?

Sophia. Because I'm a storyteller in a way, even if it's relating a true story. I may not try to fudge the details, but I may want to tell it in an exciting way. And I too have a deadpan, awkward sense of humor like her.