Where ever you go...

[JustGeorge]

...there you are.

My husband told me the other day I intimidate people. He's right. He's certainly not the first to say it. At 5'2, soft spoken and slow moving, one wouldn't think I'd be intimidating. But, many people have said this to me, and I suspect its because of one trait: I have a stone face. Happy, sad, tired, angry, it all looks the same on me. And some people find that unnerving. But I wouldn't change this about me. Honestly, its a skill I developed that I'm somewhat proud of(that, and being able to burp the alphabet). I don't care if other people don't like this about me(unless they're the same way, and then an instant, but non visual, bond is formed). I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

First off, I'm focusing on losing weight, because I really really really did need to lose it, for health reasons. I'm doing pretty well on that weight loss.

However, if I'm not mistaken, I believe the weight charts might say something like that I need to get down to 160-170 to be a healthy weight. I'll probably only get down to 190. I've been 160-170 before and I didn't like how pointy my elbows were, or how much my ribs kind of stuck out. So while I can't say with certainty that I won't change my mind, the point is that I've always liked having just a little meat on the bones - just not being super fat either.

 

[JustGeorge]

First off, I'm focusing on losing weight, because I really really really did need to lose it, for health reasons. I'm doing pretty well on that weight loss.

However, if I'm not mistaken, I believe the weight charts might say something like that I need to get down to 160-170 to be a healthy weight. I'll probably only get down to 190. I've been 160-170 before and I didn't like how pointy my elbows were, or how much my ribs kind of stuck out. So while I can't say with certainty that I won't change my mind, the point is that I've always liked having just a little meat on the bones - just not being super fat either.

That makes good sense to me.

 

[Meow Mix]

...there you are.

My husband told me the other day I intimidate people. He's right. He's certainly not the first to say it. At 5'2, soft spoken and slow moving, one wouldn't think I'd be intimidating. But, many people have said this to me, and I suspect its because of one trait: I have a stone face. Happy, sad, tired, angry, it all looks the same on me. And some people find that unnerving. But I wouldn't change this about me. Honestly, its a skill I developed that I'm somewhat proud of(that, and being able to burp the alphabet). I don't care if other people don't like this about me(unless they're the same way, and then an instant, but non visual, bond is formed). I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

Grrl, same. Well, similar. I don't have RBF (ok, this is a joke, but that's Resting ***** Face) but I'm very willful to the point that some call me stubborn. I don't think it's stubbornness though, I'm just not afraid to assert when I think asserting will contribute something meaningful. If someone corrects me then I know when to shut up. So I'm glad I don't back down easily.

 

[JustGeorge]

I get that! You know what you want and you have something to add. Why shouldn't you?

 

[Heyo]

...there you are.

My husband told me the other day I intimidate people. He's right. He's certainly not the first to say it. At 5'2, soft spoken and slow moving, one wouldn't think I'd be intimidating. But, many people have said this to me, and I suspect its because of one trait: I have a stone face. Happy, sad, tired, angry, it all looks the same on me. And some people find that unnerving. But I wouldn't change this about me. Honestly, its a skill I developed that I'm somewhat proud of(that, and being able to burp the alphabet). I don't care if other people don't like this about me(unless they're the same way, and then an instant, but non visual, bond is formed). I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

Usually I am the opposite of intimidating. Most of the time I have an SEP field around me. That can be quite useful but it can also be annoying to always be ignored.

 

[Brickjectivity]

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

Me? I don't remember anything like that. Its an interesting question.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

...there you are.

My husband told me the other day I intimidate people. He's right. He's certainly not the first to say it. At 5'2, soft spoken and slow moving, one wouldn't think I'd be intimidating. But, many people have said this to me, and I suspect its because of one trait: I have a stone face. Happy, sad, tired, angry, it all looks the same on me. And some people find that unnerving. But I wouldn't change this about me. Honestly, its a skill I developed that I'm somewhat proud of(that, and being able to burp the alphabet). I don't care if other people don't like this about me(unless they're the same way, and then an instant, but non visual, bond is formed). I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

Oooh...I've been told I have the emotional range of a teacup. It's not true, honestly, but I don't overtly react to things. There is a separation of my facial expressions and my thoughts, I guess.
So, that sounds a little like what you're describing.

Sadly, I can't burp the alphabet.

Incidentally, I used a sad face emoji, but my actual expression didn't change.

 

[Deeje]

I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

Being true to yourself without apology is not a bad trait unless you are overbearing......I try not to be overbearing, but will not back down if I know I'm right and am challenged......if I am not confident about something I will reserve comment, and probably do some research for the next time that issue is raised.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

I was born a 'black sheep' very unlike my mostly compliant siblings...I never needed to do or believe what everyone else did and was never bothered about what others thought of me.....I never stood for the national anthem or saluted a flag because I couldn't see why those things had religious connotations when God was not behind either of them. I was anti-war as well.

I was a "nobody tells me what to do" kinda person who would probably have become a serial protestor in my youth if I hadn't found God.....(somewhere I never imagined him to be.) He taught me the value of submission to him and to his rules for living....and that the rewards for doing so were inestimable. The more I studied the Bible, the more convinced I became of the reasons for why we are here, what went wrong with the human race, and where this is all heading. I saw that I didn't need to protest about things that God had well in hand in his big scheme of things....I discovered order in the disorder.....so I guess I changed color.....

 

[JustGeorge]

Usually I am the opposite of intimidating. Most of the time I have an SEP field around me. That can be quite useful but it can also be annoying to always be ignored.

Does this mean you kind of fade into the background?

Oooh...I've been told I have the emotional range of a teacup. It's not true, honestly, but I don't overtly react to things. There is a separation of my facial expressions and my thoughts, I guess.
So, that sounds a little like what you're describing.

Sadly, I can't burp the alphabet.

Incidentally, I used a sad face emoji, but my actual expression didn't change.

Wouldn't it be nice to have facial expressions flashcards... you could just wave one, and people could see what you thought of something without having to contort your face all funny?

It did get me into trouble once... The house I lived in had shiny paneling, and I could see flames reflecting from my bedroom. Sure enough, I went into my room, and my bed was aflame. "Bed's on fire!" I went off to get a pan of water. Came into the room. The friends asked why I had a pan of water. "I just told you that the bed was on fire." Oh, they didn't think I was serious! They jumped up to help. I didn't really know what else to say about it...

Keep working on that alphabet. Maybe one day?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

...there you are.

My husband told me the other day I intimidate people. He's right. He's certainly not the first to say it. At 5'2, soft spoken and slow moving, one wouldn't think I'd be intimidating. But, many people have said this to me, and I suspect its because of one trait: I have a stone face. Happy, sad, tired, angry, it all looks the same on me. And some people find that unnerving. But I wouldn't change this about me. Honestly, its a skill I developed that I'm somewhat proud of(that, and being able to burp the alphabet). I don't care if other people don't like this about me(unless they're the same way, and then an instant, but non visual, bond is formed). I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

That same thing, but in my case it's a tremendous boon when playing poker.
What others call "over thinking things."
And what that is a double edged sword to other people is presenting them with the facts of their situation, stripped down and bared bone, straight to the point and blunt. It's not usually what people want to hear, so there's often some cringing and sighs and upsetness, but rather they get what they need to hear.

 

[JustGeorge]

That same thing, but in my case it's a tremendous boon when playing poker.
What others call "over thinking things."
And what that is a double edged sword to other people is presenting them with the facts of their situation, stripped down and bared bone, straight to the point and blunt. It's not usually what people want to hear, so there's often some cringing and sighs and upsetness, but rather they get what they need to hear.

I've considered taking up poker.

I hear that a lot... "You don't tell me what I want to hear, George, but you do tell me what I need to hear."

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I've considered taking up poker.

I do believe Aspies are prone to having natural advantages with it. Our flat affect, for example, that tends to characterize as difficult to read is a tremendous boon, along with how we tend to process things logically which when combined with a bit of math skills puts us at an advantage over most players. It still comes down to the draw of the cards, but it really is a game of mathematics.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

It did get me into trouble once... The house I lived in had shiny paneling, and I could see flames reflecting from my bedroom. Sure enough, I went into my room, and my bed was aflame. "Bed's on fire!" I went off to get a pan of water. Came into the room. The friends asked why I had a pan of water. "I just told you that the bed was on fire." Oh, they didn't think I was serious! They jumped up to help. I didn't really know what else to say about it...

Haven't had anything that extreme, but in moments of emergency, people seem either reassured that I don't get ruffled, or agitated that I 'don't understand the urgency'.
The former is closer to the truth than the latter, but I guess there is a human habit of understanding other people's actions and expressions based on how you would act, rather than how they do.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

Usually I am the opposite of intimidating. Most of the time I have an SEP field around me. That can be quite useful but it can also be annoying to always be ignored.

Well, then...ya gotta look meaner! Assert yourself!

(Jus kiddin’)

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

...there you are.

My husband told me the other day I intimidate people. He's right. He's certainly not the first to say it. At 5'2, soft spoken and slow moving, one wouldn't think I'd be intimidating. But, many people have said this to me, and I suspect its because of one trait: I have a stone face. Happy, sad, tired, angry, it all looks the same on me. And some people find that unnerving. But I wouldn't change this about me. Honestly, its a skill I developed that I'm somewhat proud of(that, and being able to burp the alphabet). I don't care if other people don't like this about me(unless they're the same way, and then an instant, but non visual, bond is formed). I'm stuck in my skin 24 hours a day, and I gotta be someone I can stomach.

How about you? Do you have a trait others don't always appreciate, but you're happy you've developed(or been lucky enough to be born with)?

Yeah, I'm familiar with the stone face and calm demeanor thing that can make some people nervous.
This is kind of ironic, as I myself am very shy and prone to social anxiety, so I also easily get nervous when I'm around people.

Also, because I'm easily pleased with what I've got and usually don't like change, it can be awkward to deal with people when you live in a culture where it's considered normal to be ambitious, go on a lot of trips and have an opinion about everything.
When I tell them about the simplicity of my life and made the impression I'm not an idiot, they sometimes look at me as if they expect more of me, as if it's my job to conquer the world or do something big so that everyone can see how selfless and righteous I am or something.
This also makes them wonder whether I am happy or not.
I know what depression feels like, so I'd say this means I'm happy.
I'd be unhappy if I make the mistake again to do things I hate to do for the sake of being liked and accepted.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

I’m a public speaker, and it doesn’t take much for me to get really enthusiastic about the subject I’m speaking on!
But I have a slight case of cerebral paisy that’s affected my left hand more than anything, so I have to wear my brace to achieve the best response. Though. my wife tells me that when I do wear it on stage (which is almost always), I have a certain charisma that many have mentioned to her. Idk.

I do like to talk! Way more than writing...mainly because I have to type w/ one hand. Oh well.

 

[JustGeorge]

Yeah, I'm familiar with the stone face and calm demeanor thing that can make some people nervous.
This is kind of ironic, as I myself am very shy and prone to social anxiety, so I also easily get nervous when I'm around people.

Also, because I'm easily pleased with what I've got and usually don't like change, it can be awkward to deal with people when you live in a culture where it's considered normal to be ambitious, go on a lot of trips and have an opinion about everything.
When I tell them about the simplicity of my life and made the impression I'm not an idiot, they sometimes look at me as if they expect more of me, as if it's my job to conquer the world or do something big so that everyone can see how selfless and righteous I am or something.
This also makes them wonder whether I am happy or not.
I know what depression feels like, so I'd say this means I'm happy.
I'd be unhappy if I make the mistake again to do things I hate to do for the sake of being liked and accepted.

I wish I could give you 15 winners...

I am in a life situation right now in which I have a very wealthy person coming in and trying to change everything I own, assuming I want more, and I'm being humble and modest... Its like she can't hear me screaming "Please! No more! I like my life/stuff/house/culture as it is!"

Its like if you're not career and 'stuff' driven, people, as you say, assume you're dumb, there's something wrong with you, or shamefully lazy. It disgusts me to no end... Certainly, there is more than one way to be!

I can't do the things I hate to be accepted, either.

I’m a public speaker, and it doesn’t take much for me to get really enthusiastic about the subject I’m speaking on!
But I have a slight case of cerebral paisy that’s affected my left hand more than anything, so I have to wear my brace to achieve the best response. Though. my wife tells me that when I do wear it on stage (which is almost always), I have a certain charisma that many have mentioned to her. Idk.

I do like to talk! Way more than writing...mainly because I have to type w/ one hand. Oh well.

I like to talk, too! I spent so many years with social anxiety that when I finally found my voice, I felt like a toddler who could finally ask for seconds...

What do you speak publicly about, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

I wish I could give you 15 winners...

I am in a life situation right now in which I have a very wealthy person coming in and trying to change everything I own, assuming I want more, and I'm being humble and modest... Its like she can't hear me screaming "Please! No more! I like my life/stuff/house/culture as it is!"

Its like if you're not career and 'stuff' driven, people, as you say, assume you're dumb, there's something wrong with you, or shamefully lazy. It disgusts me to no end... Certainly, there is more than one way to be!

I can't do the things I hate to be accepted, either.

Yes, I remember you've mentioned the renovation or upgrade(or the way it is to you, the invasion) in another thread.
If it's already written in stone that it's going to happen, then I guess all one can do is hope it won't be as bad as it seems.
How do your husband and children feel about this?

I hope your differences with your ways and society's won't embitter your heart and that you have healthy ways to deal with your frustrations.

 

[JustGeorge]

Yes, I remember you've mentioned the renovation or upgrade(or the way it is to you, the invasion) in another thread.
If it's already written in stone that it's going to happen, then I guess all one can do is hope it won't be as bad as it seems.
How do your husband and children feel about this?

I hope your differences with your ways and society's won't embitter your heart and that you have healthy ways to deal with your frustrations.

My husband is thrilled, which is why most of it is happening. The compromise is: stay out of my kitchen. That is my workshop and my area(I really love to cook), and the only one who needs to like it is me. And I do. The kids don't really know the difference. Its just more changes; temporarily fun, and then we tear it up. (Two of my kids have special needs, and can be more destructive than your typical child.) On a positive note, its showing me that my house isn't mine and forcing a bit of nonattachment...

I find having a social outlet helps. When I can put feelings and faces to 'the others', I understand that I'm a part of a greater whole, and while I may not like being a round peg in a square hole, I can at least develop fondness for all of the square pegs out there for whom the holes are made. When I get too isolated, I get bitter. This can be difficult to combat in a somewhat 'keep to yourself' region of the US.

Religious practices and my relationships with my gods help as well. Sometimes the difficulties keep me on track for what I believe is the greater purpose.