I've been seeing a guy now, since ending my engagement, and he is a moderate Christian. He wants to become stronger in the faith, and we went to church today together, and it was so awesome to be there with him, and seeing others who are dating or married together with their partners. It just felt like a very connected place. Just wondering if you attend your places of worship, with your significant others?
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Wherever you attend your faith service, does your spouse or partner attend with you?
- Thread starter Deidre
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Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
Ooh that would be so beautiful especially if I had a future wife. Since I don't follow a structured religion, I'd be more wholesome of she and I prayed together and just did our thing in our rituals and such. I mean, working with your other in spiritual practice really puts a lot of "magic" in the air for both meanings of the word.
But it's good that you are with someone of the same faith. If I dated a Christian, I'd go to service with her. If she were Catholic, I can't take the Eucharist with her and that would be kind of hard on me but then unless she don't like rituals and "witchcraft" for lack of better words, then I see no problem in it.I live in a magical world. One day. One day.
Nam.
Like many Hindus, we often go alone, separately. The Hindu temple is a place to commune with God, and alone with God works best. Since there is no congregational worship, everyone just does their own thing. At larger events its very difficult to tell who is married to who unless you stand in the parking lot. But that would be rude. Couples interact together a ton more away from the temple.
arthra
Baha'i
My wife and I met as we were both Baha'is and so in building our family we have worked together using Baha'i principles. We both pray each day and have activities in our home.. Our children also continues active in the Faith.
Yes.
Mine is a non-practicing Roman Catholic, so going to Mass is not something he does, much less having me go. He is, however, edging closer to coming to temple with me. I've said I don't want him to feel excluded from what I do, nor do I expect or demand that he comes. It's his choice.
Carlita, this is such a beautiful post. You sound like you'd be a very loving spouse to someone, someday. What I've always admired in you is this incredible openness to other faith views, with a fondness for Christianity, mainly Catholicism. One day for sure!Ooh that would be so beautiful especially if I had a future wife. Since I don't follow a structured religion, I'd be more wholesome of she and I prayed together and just did our thing in our rituals and such. I mean, working with your other in spiritual practice really puts a lot of "magic" in the air for both meanings of the word.
I live in a magical world. One day. One day.
Nam.
That is so interesting, so in Hinduism, the tendency is to worship alone, without one's partner. So there is no ''formal'' worship service, you mean?
This sounds so nice. I have never seen a building for Baha'i worship in my area. Do you feel it makes your relationship stronger with your family?
I've been to a jewish temple many times before, I have a few jewish friends, it's quite moving. Do you feel that it makes your relationship with your partner, a stronger one?
That's so great, that you leave it completely up to him. There are couples who get married, and it becomes a forced thing, and it never should be like that.
Yes, in much the same way that Shabbat dinners do.
No. my cat stays home and dose her own thing when i attend Shull ...
It does depend on the temple and style that has been established, but often individuals will go alone, on the way home from work. Hindu temples are also open every day of the week. There is no intermediary between you and God. The priest's job is to invoke the presence of God into the temple, and that's about all. Then the people commune wit the presence. Yes, families and groups kind of worship together, but far less group singing and all that jazz.
arthra
Baha'i
Yes... of course ... Our parents supported our marriage as well so we had no issues with "in-laws". We are free of course to select our mates but Baha'i marriages require the consent of the living parents of the prospective bride and groom... so they have been supportive of us and the children all along.
Baha'is often meet in each others homes and there are some Baha'i Centers in large cities. The Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette, Ill. is the only House of Worship in North America. There's a thread on the Baha'i House of Worship on this forum at
http://www.religiousforums.com/threads/bahai-houses-of-worship.190264/
I am a Hindu and will go not only with my wife but family including relatives, in-laws (big deal thing actually), even the close friends of relatives who are visiting from other countries.
My wife will often chat with the other ladies, usually I am sort of like a host to friends who are from out of town. For example when a sister-in-law had a friend from Dubai, I was this gentleman's host or escort if you will to multiple temples in a single day.
Now mind you, there are formal "ceremonies" or worship called pujas - a Hindu priest before the "idols" or Murtis (forms) giving offerings, chants, and so on, little burning "lamps" are waved or taken to the assembly so the devotees can wave their palms over the flames, there is bowing, sometimes group singing and so on.
But sometimes on the way home from work I might stop at a temple - especially in the winter when it gets dark earlier, there is something magical about the open door of a temple with the lights inside that glow out into the twilight, or opening the door of the temple and entering from the outside darkness into the temple's sounds, smells, lights, (sometimes tastes and songs and dance as well) - wow! Really nice. In this example I would typically be alone if coming home from work.
Actually, this question and discission made me think, it occurs to me my wife if RARELY would go to a temple alone. The times I can think of when she went alone was when she wanted darshan and give prayer because someone was sick or she has done so to give an offering to "give me good luck at work" which is sort of funny because my luck has always been increduble and I work in IT and the computer industry but no matter how many downsizes I have seen, layoffs, et all which has been many times over the last decade especially as is the norm in IT, I never was let go, in fact only promotions, which is crazy because though I am good at what I do yet I am lazy as hell. Yet THOSE are the times my wife has gone alone to "pray for her husband and his job".
So yes, I do go alone sometimes, but my wife generally never goes alone.
I mentioned the chats my wife has with the other ladies. This happens in the "temple lobby", not right in the puja room or such. The men actually do not chat much in the temple - BUT WE CHAT A LOT OUTSIDE IN GROUPS or the classic is we chat in THE TEMPLE STORE where you might buy a prayer book, a statue or murti of a Hindu God, and such typical Hindu Temple Store type things that are found in some temples - next thing you know a nice older Hindu gentleman is handing me his business card, i.e. "if you want a nice vacation, I am a travel agent and give me a call".
Another big conversation piece is where their kid is going to school university, what each of us does for a job - IS YOUR (son, daughter, yadda) MARRIED. The women mostly ask that along with the University thing, the men talk about each others job. By the way there is no embarrassment such as one job over the next, be it a janitor or a CEO, we all share the stories and enjoy and learn from each other we men as we chat about jobs, or the "big expenses for the wedding" yadda.
I know... sounds sort of shocking to say such things such as the chatting and then arguing over who makes the best sweets the Bengalis, Americans, Gujaratis, yadda. Doesn't sound like meditation, does it?
But it is. But that is a long story for another time. There are some great emotional moments and comedic scenes you would not believe. Life is Hinduism. It includes arguing and laughing and good food. Ladies chat. Sometimes it is nice to watch the face of your wife when she chats with the other ladies. It is also Hinduism.
My wife will often chat with the other ladies, usually I am sort of like a host to friends who are from out of town. For example when a sister-in-law had a friend from Dubai, I was this gentleman's host or escort if you will to multiple temples in a single day.
Now mind you, there are formal "ceremonies" or worship called pujas - a Hindu priest before the "idols" or Murtis (forms) giving offerings, chants, and so on, little burning "lamps" are waved or taken to the assembly so the devotees can wave their palms over the flames, there is bowing, sometimes group singing and so on.
But sometimes on the way home from work I might stop at a temple - especially in the winter when it gets dark earlier, there is something magical about the open door of a temple with the lights inside that glow out into the twilight, or opening the door of the temple and entering from the outside darkness into the temple's sounds, smells, lights, (sometimes tastes and songs and dance as well) - wow! Really nice. In this example I would typically be alone if coming home from work.
Actually, this question and discission made me think, it occurs to me my wife if RARELY would go to a temple alone. The times I can think of when she went alone was when she wanted darshan and give prayer because someone was sick or she has done so to give an offering to "give me good luck at work" which is sort of funny because my luck has always been increduble and I work in IT and the computer industry but no matter how many downsizes I have seen, layoffs, et all which has been many times over the last decade especially as is the norm in IT, I never was let go, in fact only promotions, which is crazy because though I am good at what I do yet I am lazy as hell. Yet THOSE are the times my wife has gone alone to "pray for her husband and his job".
So yes, I do go alone sometimes, but my wife generally never goes alone.
I mentioned the chats my wife has with the other ladies. This happens in the "temple lobby", not right in the puja room or such. The men actually do not chat much in the temple - BUT WE CHAT A LOT OUTSIDE IN GROUPS or the classic is we chat in THE TEMPLE STORE where you might buy a prayer book, a statue or murti of a Hindu God, and such typical Hindu Temple Store type things that are found in some temples - next thing you know a nice older Hindu gentleman is handing me his business card, i.e. "if you want a nice vacation, I am a travel agent and give me a call".
Another big conversation piece is where their kid is going to school university, what each of us does for a job - IS YOUR (son, daughter, yadda) MARRIED. The women mostly ask that along with the University thing, the men talk about each others job. By the way there is no embarrassment such as one job over the next, be it a janitor or a CEO, we all share the stories and enjoy and learn from each other we men as we chat about jobs, or the "big expenses for the wedding" yadda.
I know... sounds sort of shocking to say such things such as the chatting and then arguing over who makes the best sweets the Bengalis, Americans, Gujaratis, yadda. Doesn't sound like meditation, does it?
But it is. But that is a long story for another time. There are some great emotional moments and comedic scenes you would not believe. Life is Hinduism. It includes arguing and laughing and good food. Ladies chat. Sometimes it is nice to watch the face of your wife when she chats with the other ladies. It is also Hinduism.
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oldbadger
Skanky Old Mongrel!
Neither of us has a religion, and we both have differing ideas about God and the reason for our existence. My wife came from a background of extreme religious intolerance, and at first, many years ago, when she visited my home as a girlfriend she was very surprised to discover that I let religious evangelists like JWs park their cars on my drive when in the area, which has no provision for road-parking. I even made dreadful lousy tea and coffee for them if they were cold etc. I didn't make dreadful coffee for only them, my coffee is dreadful anytime.
So, although she didn't want to listen to them proslytising she decided that they should have decent drinkable tea/coffee and better biscuits. Some of those evangelists still call in on cold days, and my wife makes the most super coffee for them 25 years years after they must have given up on us.
And so, although we only sit together in services such as (secular) Christenings, Marriages and Funerals, we live so closely in so many other ways.
My ex and I went to church together. Going to a church I didn't believe in was a very unpleasant experience for me and probably sped up the process that led to our divorce.
If you're going to make your religious beliefs and shared church attendance foundations of your relationship, then I hope that neither of you ever change your beliefs.
RabbiO
הרב יונה בן זכריה
It's an occupational hazard.
hahaha!! Aw.
That's so thoughtful of you, metis!! You are proof that two people don't have to be of the same faith in a marriage/relationship. I'd like that, but it's not a dealbreaker for me, because I have had my own journey with faith over the past few years, so I don't expect all people to have a solid belief in any one thing.
While it'd be great to share my beliefs with a life partner, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker if the person didn't share the same beliefs or left the faith say in the middle of the relationship or something. So you believe that going to church together was in part the cause of your divorce?
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
We used to in the beginning as we both were Christian at the time. I hung around with the Pentecostal movement wheras my wife was Catholic. We went to both. It was great for what it was at the time. Both of us, as time went on and getting older, didn't care for things like attending services and such and put it all down.