IndigoChild5559
Loving God and my neighbor as myself.
First of all, I'm so very, very sorry for what your child went through, and what you also went through as a result. Honestly, when my own kids were little, I sometimes worried that if they were molested that I would just lose my sanity and kill the offender. Nothing rips your heart out of your chest like your child being harmed, does it.Today's news:
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www.cnn.com
The Mormon church was where I experienced abuse - called by god - believed leaders were actually called by god. It doesn't sink in until its your kids. Until you get the phone call from the detective.
Thank God for secular court systems, he's in jail - the one who hurt my kids is now in jail, despite being protected by the church...
I understand now why you assume this is a religious thing, because the abuse of your own child happened at the hands of your church leaders. I have no wish to dismiss your feelings. My only intent here is to point out that when we generalize from a small sampling, we run a great risk of making a mistake.So many other cases out there. For others going through this - know your church friends are NOT your friends. Choose who you confide in carefully. The stranger down the street in police station - confide to police, NOT to anyone at church.
Pedophiles, hebephiles, and ephebophiles are going to be everywhere there are children: the family, the neighborhood, youth organizations, schools, and religious institutions. 30-40% of child sexual abuse cases are committed by a family member, such as a step father, brother, or uncle. 10-20% are by live-in boyfriends. Stepfathers are about 5 to 8 times more likely to sexually abuse a child compared to biological fathers. Live-in boyfriends are at an even higher risk, with some studies showing they are 10 to 20 times more likely to commit sexual abuse than a biological father.
My first experience with molestation was my own at the age of seven. It was simply an older child down the street. There was no connection to any institution at all, either religious or secular.
My second experience was when I was 11 (sixth grade) and my teacher was molesting a fellow student. None of the adults believed her until she got pregnant. That of course, was a secular institution.
When I became a teacher later in life, there were two times a student was revealed to be molested. (I'm sure there were many more, but I only became aware of two.)
The first was a girl in my fifth grade class who became pregnant. Her mother was the president of the PTA, and her powerful family gave generously to the school. It was the father who molested her, and the school which reported it. The father did go to jail. The mother believed the school had destroyed her family, and using the many, many other parents she had influence over, she made everyone involved pay for it. This included me--I was treated for PTSD because of the non-stop harassment. Due to the pressure from the parents, the original principal was fired, and then the replacement principal fired as well. It tore the school apart and took many years to recover.
Years later, when I taught third grade, there was a very strict Catholic family that opted for their fourth grade daughter to be released from sex education. Guess who got pregnant. In this case, I just don't have more information than that.
Notice that the one thing all these school anecdotes share in common is that it doesn't come to light until the girl gets pregnant. I think part of this is because molested kids are taught to keep it a secret. But I think it also has to do with victims not being believed by adults in charge.
And finally, I had a very good friend who was devoutly Assembly of God, whose daughter was molested by the pastor's teenage son. When she went to the board, they told her to stop causing trouble, and kicked her out of the church.