Why are we sad when someone dies?

[jeffrey]

This debate is for people with a belief in some form of afterlife. Why? Why when a good person dies that we are sure is with God or just plain in a better place are we sad? Is this not selfish of us.? I know some cultures and religions do have some form of celebration, but not many. But we can and sometimes do grieve for years...

 

[ChrisP]

This debate is for people with a belief in some form of afterlife. Why? Why when a good person dies that we are sure is with God or just plain in a better place are we sad? Is this not selfish of us.? I know some cultures and religions do have some form of celebration, but not many. But we can and sometimes do grieve for years...

In our hearts there is always doubt about the afterlife. We may believe in God(s) or some other transformation, but we cannot be certain until we see it ourself. The Sceptic within, that little voice that always questions makes certain of this.

Aside from this I don't feel sad. I miss the people I know who've died and I wish them well, but all they've done is vacated their flesh, and their energy has joined the energy flow and so I know eventually (with a little luck) I'll be communing with them.

 

[jeffrey]

Maybe so, to some extent, ChrisP. I mom passed away 27 years ago, and at times, I still miss her. She died of cancer, a horrible death. She was in 'remission', was supposed to get better when she told me that she had "made her peace with God". 3 days later she died. Even if there is my afterlife, death must surely be better then the pain and agony of cancer. But I still at times grieve.

 

[TashaN]

My dad passed away month a go. I was abroad when he died. I felt so sad because i couldn't catch up to the funeral and cried too but they told me that he died in the holy month for Muslims "Ramadan", and it's a good thing for us to die in this month. Moreover, i saw him in my dream and he was nice looking with his usual wonerful so white clothes. We believe in Islam that if someone died so he will never ever come in dream unless it's really truth so i believe he feel so good now "God willing" in the other life.

I feel so happy for him right now but i feel sad because of our selfishness of being beside the one we love all the time. It's somthing in us, human beings.

 

[michel]

Maybe so, to some extent, ChrisP. I mom passed away 27 years ago, and at times, I still miss her. She died of cancer, a horrible death. She was in 'remission', was supposed to get better when she told me that she had "made her peace with God". 3 days later she died. Even if there is my afterlife, death must surely be better then the pain and agony of cancer. But I still at times grieve.

I agree. As a theist who believes in the afterlife, I think my parents are much 'better off' now than they were, whilst alive, in their last years.

And yes, my sorrow is one of selfishness, at not being able to have them around me now.........

 

[ChrisP]

Maybe so, to some extent, ChrisP. I mom passed away 27 years ago, and at times, I still miss her. She died of cancer, a horrible death. She was in 'remission', was supposed to get better when she told me that she had "made her peace with God". 3 days later she died. Even if there is my afterlife, death must surely be better then the pain and agony of cancer. But I still at times grieve.

An individuals essence is carried by their presence and that is what I miss most about my grandfather. He is a man I love, and try every day to emulate.

I am sorry for your loss. Rejoice in those around you as the life of one man is not long enough to while away in melancholy.

 

[jeffrey]

michel,
I believe mine is too, and feel so guilty for this. Christ taught us not to be selfish, And this is the worst kind. Wanting our loved one/s around for our own personal reason, because we miss them, to want to deprive them of their own happiness...... It might even be sinful to feel this way. But I do.

 

[Scuba Pete]

My wife complains that I don't show emotion when someone dies. I do feel some emotion, but not like most. This shell we inhabit, is merely borrowed and meant to be cast off like a hermit crab.

 

[jeffrey]

My wife complains that I don't show emotion when someone dies. I do feel some emotion, but not like most. This shell we inhabit, is merely borrowed and meant to be cast off like a hermit crab.

I agree, but I still feel the hurt. I would like not to, as I'm sure others would not like to feel pain.... But I/we do.

 

[Radar]

Because we ar selfish by nature.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

There is real grief when you lose someone.

As you mourn this turns to a sad sort of longing.
It is for your self and for the things that might have been.
Then it becomes the things you can no longer share.
and the things that you know they would have enjoyed.

You do not Mourn their Death, just their passing.
You know they have come to their own salvation,
You just wish you could share with them once again.

I know is is us who feel the loss, not them,
They are with us for ever.
Love can never die.

Terry___________________
Blessed are those who morn, they shall be consoled.

 

[jeffrey]

Well stated, Terry. I think the worst grieving would be from the loss of one of your children, something that I hope and pray I'll never have to endure..

 

[Radar]

Well stated, Terry. I think the worst grieving would be from the loss of one of your children, something that I hope and pray I'll never have to endure..

Now see that is selfish! You don't (and I am with you on this) want to endure the grieving of there deaths but would rather have them endure yours, either will equally as painful . Really I understand what you are saying, I'm just playing devil's advocate.

 

[jeffrey]

That's a very good point, radar!

 

[john63]

We don't cry because we feel bad for the deceased, we cry because we feel sorry for ourselves because we'll never see that person again.

 

[michel]

My wife complains that I don't show emotion when someone dies. I do feel some emotion, but not like most. This shell we inhabit, is merely borrowed and meant to be cast off like a hermit crab.

We don't all react to sorrow in the same way; I remember cryng as my Dad's coffin was being taken in the church. I wasn't crying for my Dad, but at how disappointed he would have felt as a young man, had he seen himself just before his death.

 

[cardero]

I think it has to do with a physical presence. Human nature enjoys things that are physical. When we end a relationship it is just as sorrowful because the person is not directly in the path of your life anymore. Selfish? Somewhat. Humans also forget that memories are just as valid and are not lost when an entity is no longer in our midst.

 

[standing_on_one_foot]

Same reason people cry when they're parting and won't see each other for a long time (if at all). It hurts when someone who's part of your life leaves from your life.

I don't think wanting your children to outlive you is necessarily selfish, though. It's not as though the only motivation for that desire is wanting to avoid the pain of their deaths.

 

[Snowbear]

My wife complains that I don't show emotion when someone dies. I do feel some emotion, but not like most....

Many of us are much better at hiding our emotions than others...
Just' 'cause we don't show it doesn't mean we don't feel it.

In my case, I have come to realize that when somone dies, the body that's left over is not the person that was. That person has moved on, hopefully to something better than whatever they had here on earth.

As has already been noted, the sadness felt when someone dies is not for the person who dies, but for those who are still alive and will no longer be blessed with the person's love and companionship.