Moments ago, I was looking at @Leahpolitan_icecream's introductory thread in which that person mentioned being on RF to 'ask questions and learn.' @SalixIncendium replied to the new user's OP with these words:
I myself have noticed that some individuals join in order to post long, boring OPs telling us all that his or her religion is the one true religion, and those individuals, from what I see, have this thing about sounding pseudo-intellectual. They're not really intellectual, of course. The rubbish they post is just a bunch of high-sounding blather that never impresses anyone here. The only kind of person who would be impressed is some impressionable 16-year-old who wants to be different in the religion department from his or her parents.
Anyway, I must admit that the reason I'm on RF is not to ask questions, learn, have fun, and be supportive of others. It has taken me a little over five months as well as 742 posts to make myself seem like a regular, decent member. In actuality, I have been trying to make myself seem acceptable to you guys so that I could announce to you my real intentions.
There is a reason that I am on RF, and many of you might not like it. I am here to gain loyal followers and ardent devotees who will march behind me to fight against the dark forces of Kali Yuga and bring about a new Satya Yuga of light, truth, and pure spirituality. Hello. My name is Sri Maitreya Christos Kalki Deva Muhammad al-Mahdi Maharaja ben-David, and I am the Noble Savior who is the Ultimate Truth enthroned in the bladder of every living being yet I am never defiled by the contents of the organ. I exercise power over all living beings by causing them to urinate. Knowing this miracle, how could you deny me and fight for the forces of darkness?
Although I have never served in any military, I am prepared to lead hundreds of millions of men and women in the Final War against the dark side. You can enlist in my Holy Solar Army of Truth by replying to this thread with your full name and mailing address. In return, I will mail you the membership form. When you return it to me along with your lifetime membership fee of $444 USD (which is only the cost of about 98 cups of coffee at Starbucks; pretty cheap), I will mail you your membership card and grant you access to my Discord server where you can chat with fellow soldier-devotees. The Holy Solar Army of Truth is a military order within my nonprofit organization known as the International Satya Yuga Advancement Institute. When we receive enough donations, we will establish another military order within the ISYAI called the Holy Lunar Navy of Truth. You can belong to both if you really want to (but they will have separate membership cards and Discord servers).
Women who are members of my religious nonprofit who are 35+ are eligible to be my Righteous Wives. They will be the queens of the kingdoms that I will establish when we bring an end to the Kali Yuga and bring about the Satya Yuga, which is going to happen on the third day of Diwali in 2044 CE. Additionally, in my religious nonprofit, virgin women who are 22+ are eligible to become my bodyguards known as the Pure Ones of Loyalty and Swiftness.
With all your support and our hard work, the whole world will see a federation of kingdoms of light. My own kingdom will be in Canaan. The capital will be Jerusalem but I will rename the city Hadash Ayodhya. The other kingdoms, of course, will only be ruled by my Righteous Wives. We'll remain in contact by Skype most of the time, of course. I'm sure they'll understand that I will need my harem known as the Hidden Harem of Devotee-Beauties when I am away from them.
All human beings who reject me will still benefit from the Satya Yuga and its kingdoms of light.
Yours in Truth, Light, Love, and Victory,
Sri Maitreya Christos Kalki Deva Muhammad al-Mahdi Maharaja ben-David
The Noble Savior
The Ultimate Truth
Namaste.
A refreshing change from the few that join to preach and tell others what to believe.
I myself have noticed that some individuals join in order to post long, boring OPs telling us all that his or her religion is the one true religion, and those individuals, from what I see, have this thing about sounding pseudo-intellectual. They're not really intellectual, of course. The rubbish they post is just a bunch of high-sounding blather that never impresses anyone here. The only kind of person who would be impressed is some impressionable 16-year-old who wants to be different in the religion department from his or her parents.
Anyway, I must admit that the reason I'm on RF is not to ask questions, learn, have fun, and be supportive of others. It has taken me a little over five months as well as 742 posts to make myself seem like a regular, decent member. In actuality, I have been trying to make myself seem acceptable to you guys so that I could announce to you my real intentions.
There is a reason that I am on RF, and many of you might not like it. I am here to gain loyal followers and ardent devotees who will march behind me to fight against the dark forces of Kali Yuga and bring about a new Satya Yuga of light, truth, and pure spirituality. Hello. My name is Sri Maitreya Christos Kalki Deva Muhammad al-Mahdi Maharaja ben-David, and I am the Noble Savior who is the Ultimate Truth enthroned in the bladder of every living being yet I am never defiled by the contents of the organ. I exercise power over all living beings by causing them to urinate. Knowing this miracle, how could you deny me and fight for the forces of darkness?
Although I have never served in any military, I am prepared to lead hundreds of millions of men and women in the Final War against the dark side. You can enlist in my Holy Solar Army of Truth by replying to this thread with your full name and mailing address. In return, I will mail you the membership form. When you return it to me along with your lifetime membership fee of $444 USD (which is only the cost of about 98 cups of coffee at Starbucks; pretty cheap), I will mail you your membership card and grant you access to my Discord server where you can chat with fellow soldier-devotees. The Holy Solar Army of Truth is a military order within my nonprofit organization known as the International Satya Yuga Advancement Institute. When we receive enough donations, we will establish another military order within the ISYAI called the Holy Lunar Navy of Truth. You can belong to both if you really want to (but they will have separate membership cards and Discord servers).
Women who are members of my religious nonprofit who are 35+ are eligible to be my Righteous Wives. They will be the queens of the kingdoms that I will establish when we bring an end to the Kali Yuga and bring about the Satya Yuga, which is going to happen on the third day of Diwali in 2044 CE. Additionally, in my religious nonprofit, virgin women who are 22+ are eligible to become my bodyguards known as the Pure Ones of Loyalty and Swiftness.
With all your support and our hard work, the whole world will see a federation of kingdoms of light. My own kingdom will be in Canaan. The capital will be Jerusalem but I will rename the city Hadash Ayodhya. The other kingdoms, of course, will only be ruled by my Righteous Wives. We'll remain in contact by Skype most of the time, of course. I'm sure they'll understand that I will need my harem known as the Hidden Harem of Devotee-Beauties when I am away from them.
All human beings who reject me will still benefit from the Satya Yuga and its kingdoms of light.
Yours in Truth, Light, Love, and Victory,
Sri Maitreya Christos Kalki Deva Muhammad al-Mahdi Maharaja ben-David
The Noble Savior
The Ultimate Truth
Totally joking, by the way.
