You will have to speak for yourself there, I cannot
choose to believe. I do or dont, but it is not a choice.
Baha'u'llah has given thoughts on this matter;
'O SON OF BEING! Love Me, that I may love thee. If thou lovest Me not, My love can in no wise reach thee. Know this, O servant."
Baha'u'llah also gives us a thought when he wrote to the Christian Monks, that it is our choice, but if we do not take up the choice, God is Patience and will keep offering;
O CONCOURSE of monks! If ye choose to follow Me, I will make you heirs of My Kingdom; and if ye transgress against Me, I will, in My long-suffering, endure it patiently, and I, verily, am the Ever-Forgiving, the All-Merciful… Bethlehem is astir with the Breeze of God. We hear her voice saying: ‘O most generous Lord! Where is Thy great glory established? The sweet savours of Thy presence have quickened me, after I had melted in my separation from Thee. Praised be Thou in that Thou hast raised the veils, and come with power in evident glory.’ We called unto her from behind the Tabernacle of Majesty and Grandeur: ‘O Bethlehem! This Light hath risen in the orient, and travelled towards the occident, until it reached thee in the evening of its life. Tell Me then: Do the sons recognize the Father, and acknowledge Him, or do they deny Him, even as the people aforetime denied Him (Jesus)?’ Whereupon she cried out saying: ‘Thou art, in truth, the All-Knowing, the Best-Informed.’"
It is your heart that will find God as what we can know of God is Attributes and if our heart longs for attributes, we will find God within us.
Regards Tony