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"Wives who aren’t subservient to husbands are preaching ‘false gospel, . . .’

MysticSang'ha

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
An arrangement such as this is only workable in hetero relationships where a man prefers being a dom and a woman prefers being a sub. Painting a broad brush over all relationships to exemplify this very specific power-distinct relationship is an exercise in futility.

Egalitarian relationships are the ideal so far in our culture, which is IMO why certain "kinks" like BDSM are still rather taboo. Male-dominant/Female-Submissive relationships are more frowned upon these days because it speaks to an archaic system of pervasive dominance by Euro-centric and Christianized culture. And it's one that assumed the ideal was what was touted by them alone....a patrilineal family and political structure that we are feeling the hangover from.

I don't fault couples who do, in fact, find happiness in their relationships that reflect this particular power-distinction.
 
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AmbiguousGuy

Well-Known Member
sandandfoam said:
Yes, of course I'd feel the same.
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Thanks for answering. I'm not sure how I'd feel, but I'm not at all experienced in the world MysticSang'ha was describing. I have a hard time arguing against happiness, but I'll admit that dominant-submissive relationships feel a bit creepy to me. I'll also admit that a man in the submissive role would bother me less than a woman in that role. I guess I'd worry that the woman is more likely to be held down against her will or something.
 
fantome profane

fantome profane

Anti-Woke = Anti-Justice
Premium Member
AmbiguousGuy said:
Thanks for answering. I'm not sure how I'd feel, but I'm not at all experienced in the world MysticSang'ha was describing. I have a hard time arguing against happiness, but I'll admit that dominant-submissive relationships feel a bit creepy to me. I'll also admit that a man in the submissive role would bother me less than a woman in that role. I guess I'd worry that the woman is more likely to be held down against her will or something.
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It is all a matter of degree. All relationships have some element of dominant/submissive.
 
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AmbiguousGuy

Well-Known Member
fantôme profane;3576077 said:
It is all a matter of degree. All relationships have some element of dominant/submissive.
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Sure. Reality is just words standing on the backs of words... all the way down.:)
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
dawny0826 said:
This is in the context of a loving, marriage, where two people actually love each other and have decided to live a Christian life together. She honors her husband, caring about him, not putting her personal wishes above the marriage. He honors her, not placing his selfish whims above the marriage.

We paint "subservient" to mean the worst possible thing and it can be when people are complete morons and sick in the head. But, when you're loving people and you're in your marriage for the right reasons - you honor and respect each other, because it's important for a healthy marriage.

Husband is head of household per most Christian denominations. That doesn't mean that wife's place is defined as being in the kitchen and popping out babies. The point is...without solidarity between hubby and wife - the marriage isn't going to work and God's design was that they approach it as a team.

Think in context of those families where one partner isn't pulling their weight or mistreating the other and it has negate impact on the family. This isn't a design that's meant to oppress anyone and it wouldn't if people are in healthy relationships to begin with.

Edit: As a divorced and remarried woman, I certainly don't approach Christian marriage, traditionally. But, I think I still understand the basic concept of this. Happy and happy marriages are rarely misogynistic, cruel, slave-driving, etc. (in the context of Christian households).
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Thats all good and fine for individuals, but in an institutional level, they expect all marriages toe like this and believe all marriages shoulde like this, when we both know this is not acceptable.

The man should be able to take the subservient role if he wished and the woman the authority one. There is no reason to fix people in boxes according to genders for this kind of stuff.

That would be my personal problem with it. I am totally supportive of housewives, or househusbands that do so happily and with the support of their partners that likewise want to take the other oart of the coin, though .u think for most couples it is not this differentiated. While one may naturally fall to make most decisions, its not sometng set in stone, nor inherently more "moral" than the alternative, nor is the partner harming e marriage simply for disagreeing.

These being good things IMHO.
 
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Straw Dog

Well-Known Member
I'm gonna play devil's advocate a little bit here...

Regardless of reason or faith, it does seem that most women are more physically attracted by displays of dominance coupled with pro-social behavior. This doesn't necessarily entail total subservience, but it does encourage more submissive behavior under certain circumstances. Perhaps these kinds of relations are established by more basic sexual attraction and action to begin with.

Swinging in another direction...

Authority tends to be a little more evenly distributed among many modern couples, so is total authority synonymous with certain acts of dominance or is it more context-based?
 
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Straw Dog

Well-Known Member
In my experience, women tend to make better managers and men seem to make better leaders. This is by no means clearly cut, but it does seems to be the case more often than not within my discrimination.

Am I still just being sexist? Or is this more a product of expected gender roles? Are there more actual differences between genders than just biology? I don't precisely know.
 
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Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
I also think the issue is what does Russell More mean by a wife should be subservient to her husband? I interpret it as the wife should do whatever the husband wants. But other people use words like "dominate" "submit" "surrender" differently then how I would use them which would always be negatively.
 
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Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
Straw Dog said:
In my experience, women tend to make better managers and men seem to make better leaders. This is by no means clearly cut, but it does seems to be the case more often than not within my discrimination.

Am I still just being sexist? Or is this more a product of expected gender roles? Are there more actual differences between genders than just biology? I don't precisely know.
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My experience is different, women are just as good as leading.
 
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