Hello,
I think forgiveness is one of the hardest thing to do. But I think of it like this. Forgiveness is not for the person that hurt you. I choose to believe it actually is for you to be free from the pain because if you hold onto the hurt or grudge, you end up feeling bitter. Then its like they are re- hurting you over and over again. Man, I held a grudge towards my husband for 6 years for all the pain he caused me. I was waiting for him to acknowledge what he did and ask, no beg for forgiveness. I realized it was never going to happen so I decided to just let it go cause it was making me miserable. He can have the pain back. Wow it felt so good
It seems to be two sided or reciprocal to me. Forgiveness allows for ease of ones own mind. This, in itself, allows for the opportunity for new, productive, mutually beneficial thought processes or conclusions. Being forgiving has indirect effects too as it is witnessed, at least on some level, and can be learned from or seen as beneficial or generally right, depending on the individual's perception.
Good things produce more good. Just like only negativity can come from negative things. Mercy is an attribute that is key to peaceable advancement of all life. Forgiveness is a form of mercy. It is stated repeatedly in many texts that ones who exude mercy will receive mercy. And this can be seen in day to day life in many scenarios.
Conversely; I feel that "forgiving" someone strictly with the thought of attaining peace for self while still, almost grudgingly letting the other keep or have the pain doesn't really seem like forgiveness.
I actually have trouble with forgiveness in minor ways, but it seems to be with repeat repeat offenders, or those who breed contempt and disregard due to pride or fear.
Pretty sure I'm ranting. I'm really tired.
There is no ultimately negative effect due to forgiveness. It is wholly good.
Peace
