Write a letter to God

[chinu]

Any thing you want to write.

 

[`mud]

I can't find the address.............
it was here just a few dozen years ago......
some nun gave it to me...
the next day she smacked my knuckles for asking about where He was...
or something like that...I got my knuckles smacked a lot back then...
about sixty five years ago....but my Grandma was happy.
Confirmation and then atheism...wow what a slam.
~
Oh well...I'll write when I can find the time...maybe next week.
Lookin for that address, cloud such and such and throne One.
~
Nice writing to you again,
See ya,
'mud

 

[ruffen]

Dear God.

We regret to inform you that we (The Universe Incorporated) have to let you go. We know that you are the founder of this Universe and the inventor of our greatest product of all time, humanity. But the world is changing, and the Board of Directors hold the opinion that you are too old to adapt to these changes.

There have been several accounts of unacceptable work ethics on your part, ranging from simple neglect and absence, to outright sabotage of the Universe we've all worked so hard on perfecting. It seems you've been doing these sabotages to make you more popular when "fixing" those errors again. Our customers call you for support, and most of the time you don't even answer the phone, causing a lot of frustration and disbelief and anger among our customers.

Also, there's been a long time since the last software update for the Universe was released. There are still a lot of bugs to address, and while the Earth's core is quite stable, the human-Earth interface tends to crack up and cause earthquakes and volcanos and tsunamis, and our customers are not at all happy with the situation. Also there are several small bugs (anthrax, malaria, ebola to name but a few) that have never been addressed even though they are your responsibility.

You programmed this entire system in just a week (and yes we know you even worked on Saturday), so you have proven your excellent skills and capacity, but since then you've just sat in your office, feet on the desk, doing very little work. This company cannot afford deities who don't do their job. It seems that the only work you've done is to make the other employees redundant, such as in the Norse, Greek, Roman, and Mayan departments, to name a few. While we value competitiveness, we've now come to the point where you've made yourself redundant, while displaying extremely poor judgement and work ethics.

We've previously let junior deities go. When the Automatic Lightning Generator was installed in the system, Thor was made redundant. When fire was transferred from the Magical to the Chemical department, we had to let Vulcan go.

Now it is your turn to leave the company. In your quest to eliminate all the other deities from your company, you've transferred all the Magical subroutines to the Natural department and their Chemical, Physical, Biological, and Psychological offices. As you are head of the Magical Department, we view this as a way of reducing your workload toward zero due to your laziness.

Therefore we see no other option than to let you go. You've done a great service to our company, creating everything, but there is no longer use for a God in the Universe. We also feel it is unethical that you've hired your own son Jesus to work with you in the same department as you. We will not tolerate this kind of corrupt cronyism. Making the Universe a family business is not the best way forward for our company, especially when you let your son take all the heat from our customers for your own professional shortcomings. Your son was absolutely crucified by our angry customers, and instead of accepting your part of the blame, you just became furious at our valued customers. This is unacceptable behaviour in a professional setting.

If it is any comfort, we've also let all the other remaining deities go, including Yahweh and Allah, as the Universe is now a fully autonomous system that runs fine without any of you, each claiming to be the only one with the skills required to keep it running.

We thank you for your services for the Universe, while we are also disappointed with the errors you've done and your neglect over billions of years. We've let this go on for far too long, but now it is time to reach the end of the road with you. We will not prosecute you legally for what you've done, but we will not have anything to do with you in the future.

Yours truly,
Ruffen

 

[chinu]

Dear God.

We regret to inform you that we (The Universe Incorporated) have to let you go. We know that you are the founder of this Universe and the inventor of our greatest product of all time, humanity. But the world is changing, and the Board of Directors hold the opinion that you are too old to adapt to these changes.

There have been several accounts of unacceptable work ethics on your part, ranging from simple neglect and absence, to outright sabotage of the Universe we've all worked so hard on perfecting. It seems you've been doing these sabotages to make you more popular when "fixing" those errors again. Our customers call you for support, and most of the time you don't even answer the phone, causing a lot of frustration and disbelief and anger among our customers.

Also, there's been a long time since the last software update for the Universe was released. There are still a lot of bugs to address, and while the Earth's core is quite stable, the human-Earth interface tends to crack up and cause earthquakes and volcanos and tsunamis, and our customers are not at all happy with the situation. Also there are several small bugs (anthrax, malaria, ebola to name but a few) that have never been addressed even though they are your responsibility.

You programmed this entire system in just a week (and yes we know you even worked on Saturday), so you have proven your excellent skills and capacity, but since then you've just sat in your office, feet on the desk, doing very little work. This company cannot afford deities who don't do their job. It seems that the only work you've done is to make the other employees redundant, such as in the Norse, Greek, Roman, and Mayan departments, to name a few. While we value competitiveness, we've now come to the point where you've made yourself redundant, while displaying extremely poor judgement and work ethics.

We've previously let junior deities go. When the Automatic Lightning Generator was installed in the system, Thor was made redundant. When fire was transferred from the Magical to the Chemical department, we had to let Vulcan go.

Now it is your turn to leave the company. In your quest to eliminate all the other deities from your company, you've transferred all the Magical subroutines to the Natural department and their Chemical, Physical, Biological, and Psychological offices. As you are head of the Magical Department, we view this as a way of reducing your workload toward zero due to your laziness.

Therefore we see no other option than to let you go. You've done a great service to our company, creating everything, but there is no longer use for a God in the Universe. We also feel it is unethical that you've hired your own son Jesus to work with you in the same department as you. We will not tolerate this kind of corrupt cronyism. Making the Universe a family business is not the best way forward for our company, especially when you let your son take all the heat from our customers for your own professional shortcomings. Your son was absolutely crucified by our angry customers, and instead of accepting your part of the blame, you just became furious at our valued customers. This is unacceptable behaviour in a professional setting.

If it is any comfort, we've also let all the other remaining deities go, including Yahweh and Allah, as the Universe is now a fully autonomous system that runs fine without any of you, each claiming to be the only one with the skills required to keep it running.

We thank you for your services for the Universe, while we are also disappointed with the errors you've done and your neglect over billions of years. We've let this go on for far too long, but now it is time to reach the end of the road with you. We will not prosecute you legally for what you've done, but we will not have anything to do with you in the future.

Yours truly,
Ruffen

Why you feel like writing this letter ?

 

[`mud]

I gave you cudos...marvelous blog!
~
How does one spell 'cudos ?
Anyway....a whole lot of 'em,
~
'mud

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Knowing this is a ploy to get atheists to "admit" a god exists, no thanks. Have fun.

 

[columbus]

Why you feel like writing this letter ?

Because it sums up the attitude of many in a frubal worthy way!

Tom

 

[chinu]

Knowing this is a ploy to get atheists to "admit" a god exists, no thanks. Have fun.

Friend invited a friend on a dinner and went somewhere by leaving a message on the door of house that.. "He just fooled you"

The friend who came was smart enough also leaved the message that.. "He didn't came, no thanks. Have fun"

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Friend invited a friend on a dinner and went somewhere by leaving a message on the door of house that.. "He just fooled you"

The friend who came was smart enough also leaved the message that.. "He didn't came, no thanks. Have fun"

Sadly this joke has been lost in translation. :sorry1:

 

[DawudTalut]

Any thing you want to write.

Beloved God
A good person has asked to write to you.

You, the Exalted, have told us:

[Holy Quran ch2:v 187]And when My servants ask thee about Me, say: ‘I am near. I answer the prayer of the supplicant when he prays to Me. So they should hearken to Me and believe in Me, that they may follow the right way.’

alislam.org/quran

So please help us to follow Your teaching and accept our humble prayers for us and for all humanity.

A servant.

P.S. bless the suggestion maker too.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I'll write god back as soon as I get a letter from him first.

 

[DawudTalut]

He has sent many so far....and every good thought is a continuous letter from Him too

 

[Mycroft]

Any thing you want to write.

Dear God.

Which god are you and why do you take such great pains to hide yourself?
Please visit so you can answer for your crimes against humanity.

Sincerely

Lord Voldemort.

 

[Ingledsva]

Write a letter to God.

Any thing you want to write.

Note to self ....



*

 

[Sunstone]

Dear God,

For Christmas, I want a bible, a thorny rosebush, a bunny rabbit, a school girl's costume, a nubile maid in waiting, and a toy train electric transformer with nipple clamps. Please.

Oh, and also world peace.

Signed,

Sunstone.

P.S. Do you still use reindeer? And if so, are they better in bed than Ms. God?

 

[Sunstone]

I'll write god back as soon as I get a letter from him first.

But if you don't write to him, how will you get any presents for Christmas?

 

[`mud]

anybody have the address !!
~
'mud

 

[Pink Top Hat]

Apologies for the GRAPHIC photo BUT the world does not get to see the reality on their TV screens in the 6pm news like us.


Dear God,

Can you please lose the Jews like you once did before in the desert again for 40 years because the world needs a rest. Only this afternoon the 'Jewish State' murdered 4 little boys on a beach playing football. It seems never ending. Day in day out misery just like before. You did it once. Please do it again.


Regards
The World

p.s can you also lose the ISIS, MB, FSA, and all the other nut cases who claim to be religious but are anything but out there in the desert with them too.

 

[chinu]

anybody have the address !!
~
'mud

This is already "His" post box