Young people and masturbation

[Me Myself]

please note that having an argument should not ruin friendliness.



Addiction to other things, like a job, mostly can be treated faster and without problems relatively and compared to addiction to something like the subject practice, which is related to a human instinct that affects the body and mind (I mean the masturbation not the instinct) not just any external practice. It is like you're saying addiction to drugs is okay.

A job can be bad for the family, but masturbation can be even worse.



Forgive me for my English because it is not my mother tongue.

But, I believe "could' means that it is just possible to happen not that it will happen for sure.

And also I'm human and so "anyone" is human as well. I don't think something can happen to me exclusively among all billions of people that would never at least happen to one of them.



No one can prevent everything, but they can choose to be good parents and advise their children on things they see wrong.



I guess this is what caused the argument. You seem to be fine with it because the subject practice is not harmful just by definition (I'd completely agree with you there), and I see it bad because of the possible unwanted effects I see and experienced personally. But still, I'm not sure if all and everyone can balance practicing this act.

Just my thoughts.

I am just telling you the safest bet is to tell them reality. No, masturbation is not bad.

If you masturbate all day to the point where it doesnt allow you to function properly (say they cant do their homeworks or similar) then they have a problem.

Masturbation is a good way of stress relief and prevents prostate cancer.

 

[Sunstone]

The notion that one can get addicted to masturbation is not a strong reason to oppose it, in my opinion, but at most, a reason to manage it.

For one thing, psychologists have told me a person can get psychologically addicted to anything. There was a case, for instance, of a man who became psychologically addicted to eating baking soda, because -- apparently -- he liked to burp. But if we can become psychologically addicted to anything, then is everything evil?

Moreover, there seems to be no evidence that masturbation is physically addictive in the manner that a drug might be.

Besides, how easy is it really to become psychologically addicted to masturbation. I mean, we all joke about becoming so. But how easy is it to really become addicted? I think if it were easy, I myself would have become a hardcore addict by the age of 16. Yet, I didn't. Masturbation never was so much an addiction with me that it interfered with other activities and caused me to lead a dysfunctional life.

 

[Me Myself]

The notion that one can get addicted to masturbation is not a strong reason to oppose it, in my opinion, but at most, a reason to manage it.

For one thing, psychologists have told me a person can get psychologically addicted to anything. There was a case, for instance, of a man who became psychologically addicted to eating baking soda, because -- apparently -- he liked to burp. But if we can become psychologically addicted to anything, then is everything evil?

Moreover, there seems to be no evidence that masturbation is physically addictive in the manner that a drug might be.

Besides, how easy is it really to become psychologically addicted to masturbation. I mean, we all joke about becoming so. But how easy is it to really become addicted? I think if it were easy, I myself would have become a hardcore addict by the age of 16. Yet, I didn't. Masturbation never was so much an addiction with me that it interfered with other activities and caused be to lead a dysfunctional life.

Agreed.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Having read the reasoning behind why people would be against it on various sites from various people in various religions, it seems to me that the people who think it is a sinful or immoral act believe that it becomes addicting.

 

[Penumbra]

The significant medical consesus is that it is not harmful and there may be some minor health benefits. Beliefs that it is addictive are generally associated with an ideology.

Having an orgasm several times per week has been shown in some studies to be beneficial for mild depression and to reduce overall stress which over time is important. Additional health benefits are associated with partnered sex. A lot of doctors say that masturbation can lead to better performance with a partner because you can learn well what types of stimuli lead to pleasure and orgasm.

If you look up sexual addictions (not just general horniness but literally not doing other important things specifically to a compulsive need for sex or masturbation) then one can see that it is generally thought by professionals to be associated with certain treatable mental illnesses like bipolar disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder. Or sometimes peoe just develop addictions for anything. Importantly, there is not really any real medical view that masturbation (which the vast majority of people do) causes those problems (which in comparison are rare).

If a teenager is exploring her body, thats a normal thing, and will be helpful later when it comes to having partnered sex. In the meantime masturbation is virtually harmless compared to teens having potentially unsafe sex. Frankly I would be a lot more worried about sexual repression and guilt complexes associated from ideological views.

Masturbation even plays a role in relationships to balance out different needs for sexual frequency rather than being something single people specifically do. Plus partners can do mutual masturbation if they want.

Like most people I have only had positive experiences with it, especially because I never had any real reason to view it negatively.

 

[Me Myself]

The significant medical consesus is that it is not harmful and there may be some minor health benefits. Beliefs that it is addictive are generally associated with an ideology.

Having an orgasm several times per week has been shown in some studies to be beneficial for mild depression and to reduce overall stress which over time is important. Additional health benefits are associated with partnered sex. A lot of doctors say that masturbation can lead to better performance with a partner because you can learn well what types of stimuli lead to pleasure and orgasm.

If you look up sexual addictions (not just general horniness but literally not doing other important things specifically to a compulsive need for sex or masturbation) then one can see that it is generally thought by professionals to be associated with certain treatable mental illnesses like bipolar disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder. Or sometimes peoe just develop addictions for anything. Importantly, there is not really any real medical view that masturbation (which the vast majority of people do) causes those problems (which in comparison are rare).

If a teenager is exploring her body, thats a normal thing, and will be helpful later when it comes to having partnered sex. In the meantime masturbation is virtually harmless compared to teens having potentially unsafe sex. Frankly I would be a lot more worried about sexual repression and guilt complexes associated from ideological views.

Masturbation even plays a role in relationships to balance out different needs for sexual frequency rather than being something single people specifically do. Plus partners can do mutual masturbation if they want.

Like most people I have only had positive experiences with it, especially because I never had any real reason to view it negatively.

Indeed. A person who actually does not masturbate would feel too much more tempted to actually have sex if the circumstánce presented itself and let go problems like lack of condom for sheer long needed satisfaction.

 

[s2a]

Your 11-13 year-old child asks you if it's alright if they masturbate. What would your answer be?

Why?

Besides the inevitable blindness and hairy palms...what could go wrong?

 

[Smart_Guy]

You have made a good argument and I agree with you but it is possible that masturbation is not causing your problems but is in response to them. If it is true, then it is important for you to find the real cause for these:

It seems to me that the masturbation might be the medicine you are using for some pain or trouble you are experiencing. It is your medicine that you are abusing, perhaps.

In other words it is not causing those things but is what you are doing to respond favorably to those things.

Your English is fine. I have enjoyed reading your posts. And your courage is exceptional. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks Ma'am, you're too kind

About the reason why I do it, is being not married. Having sex without marriage is against my morals and I still can't get married for a number of reasons.

I noticed that when I don't do it for a long time, my sleeping habits and physical state become great. I also started to have internal pain in and around the related area. By excessive, I mean like 2-3 times daily with a break for like 1-2 hours in between, once a week.

But I get your point. I'll have to look for other causes for those results I'm having thinking they are because of the subject practice (I can really say that word so openly ).

Emphasis mine.

That's the part i would focus my advise on, if i was you. To tell them not to get addicted to it. Suggesting they don't do it period is hardly a reasonable response, in my view. For more than one reason.

For starters, chances are (and there's no escaping this probability) that they will do it anyway, regardless of what you say. The sweeping majority of people do it, with varying frequency levels. Then, there's actually the fact that as been pointed out, there really are no demonstrable negative effects which can be shown to masturbating.

I understand that your personal experience has been negative with it, but besides the fact that you were heavily addicted to it (which isn't necessarily at all what's going to happen to your hypothetical kids), like Savagewind said, i think you might've associated to masturbation more than there actually is, and have mistook a habit and an addiction you have developed for the root cause of many of your problems.

Many things carry the potential for being addictive, and in your personal case, it might be more beneficial to you to avoid them altogether (though i doubt it), but i don't think it's reasonable to generalize and project that onto your kids, too.

Point taken bro. Thanks.

I just want to confirm that I didn't really mean to tell them not to do it, but just explain its bad results if they exist (this idea of being bad might have changed now).

But right now, addiction is the problem left. i need to find a solution for it.

There's nothing you should be embarrassed about. You're 30 years old, not married, so it's not only natural you'd masturbate, it would be crazy if you didn't. What else are you gonna do?

Seriously, i'm 25 and i've been masturbating for the last 10 years or so (a lot), and my situation is kind of the inverse of yours. At first i thought it was bad (harmful, wrong etc.), and i felt guilty about it almost every time i did it.

Later on, when i was consistently unable to find any demonstrable negative effects of any kind to this very pleasurable habit which i do on my own without any harm done to anyone (and i really tried to find any - there just wasn't), i decided that there simply is nothing wrong with it, and started to properly enjoy it.

I really doubt that masturbation is the problem in your life (or one of the main ones), though of course that is just a guess. At least, if i was you i'd try to make sure i'm not misinterpreting the situation. You might be depressed, for example, generally. This could account for some of the things you mentioned, rather than it being just you masturbating too much.

True. Actually, this is the reason why; no being married. And you probably know how protective we are here in Saudi Arabia that I don't approve of having sex with other than a wife. Man, this was really embarrassing.

I'm ~30 and I started it like ~16 so its like 14 years now. 4 years more than you. I win Well, not really

I am just telling you the safest bet is to tell them reality. No, masturbation is not bad.

If you masturbate all day to the point where it doesnt allow you to function properly (say they cant do their homeworks or similar) then they have a problem.

Masturbation is a good way of stress relief and prevents prostate cancer.

I understand.

I guess the solutions I suggested to prevent the subject act, are actually good to prevent the addiction to it, which I guess is the real problem.

Btw, when I said:
"having an argument should not ruin friendliness"

I meant "does not" instead of "should not".

Sorry if that made any misunderstanding.

 

[Me Myself]

Thanks Ma'am, you're too kind

About the reason why I do it, is being not married. Having sex without marriage is against my morals and I still can't get married for a number of reasons.

I noticed that when I don't do it for a long time, my sleeping habits and physical state become great. I also started to have internal pain in and around the related area. By excessive, I mean like 2-3 times daily with a break for like 1-2 hours in between, once a week.

But I get your point. I'll have to look for other causes for those results I'm having thinking they are because of the subject practice (I can really say that word so openly ).



Point taken bro. Thanks.

I just want to confirm that I didn't really mean to tell them not to do it, but just explain its bad results if they exist (this idea of being bad might have changed now).

But right now, addiction is the problem left. i need to find a solution for it.



True. Actually, this is the reason why; no being married. And you probably know how protective we are here in Saudi Arabia that I don't approve of having sex with other than a wife. Man, this was really embarrassing.

I'm ~30 and I started it like ~16 so its like 14 years now. 4 years more than you. I win Well, not really



I understand.

I guess the solutions I suggested to prevent the subject act, are actually good to prevent the addiction to it, which I guess is the real problem.

Btw, when I said:
"having an argument should not ruin friendliness"

I meant "does not" instead of "should not".

Sorry if that made any misunderstanding.

Sorry if I sounded unfriendly

 

[McBell]

Besides the inevitable blindness and hairy palms...what could go wrong?

Um...
Missing a stroke when swapping hands?

 

[YmirGF]

Your 11-13 year-old child asks you if it's alright if they masturbate. What would your answer be?

Why?

I`d be inclined to tell them that it was a practice that is good for their overall mental health and little different than tending to other bodily needs, but that otherwise it is no big deal. It`s one of those little bonus`s for having a physical body. Just don`t do it at the dinner table or when we are out visiting relatives.

 

[Jainarayan]

Um...
Missing a stroke when swapping hands?

I know guys who can probably gain a stroke changing hands.

 

[Jainarayan]

I noticed that when I don't do it for a long time, my sleeping habits and physical state become great. I also started to have internal pain in and around the related area. By excessive, I mean like 2-3 times daily with a break for like 1-2 hours in between, once a week.

The pain is called testicular vasocongestion, aka 'blue balls'. Very common when sexually stimulated but there's no release. When that happens, rub one out. Focusing on the tension is stressing you more.

 

[Yadon]

Your 11-13 year-old child asks you if it's alright if they masturbate. What would your answer be?

Why?

"Sure son/daughter, just make sure to stay out of my porn collection! You might accidentally see a video of me and your mom..."

That would make sure they stay out of my porn at least.

 

[s2a]

Um...
Missing a stroke when swapping hands?

Only in my "next life" might I hope for ambidexterity in all causes.

 

[s2a]

The pain is called testicular vasocongestion, aka 'blue balls'. Very common when sexually stimulated but there's no release. When that happens, rub one out. Focusing on the tension is stressing you more.

It sounds so much better when defined clinically...and removes that guilt when shaving of palms and annual visits to the obstetrician are involved.

*whew*