Young people and masturbation

[McBell]

Ah, well, thats having balls.

Wouldnt it have been maybe a bit less awkward for em ig their mother had told em? Just askin

Then again, maybe you are evil and enjoy making them suffer. One should enjoy oarenthood like that

I've got a couple of girls, so I'm hoping they talk to their mother. But honestly, Mestemia's response made perfect sense to me.

Each child is different, so I am not saying that such an approach will work with all children.

You also needs keep in mind that I have taken the direct no-nonsense approach with them from get go.
I present the information on their level, but I do not sugar coat it and I do not beat around the bush with it.

 

[McBell]

Why should they have to clean up - they are not maids?

the rule in my house has always been "You make a mess, you clean it up"

Now is not to say that if said mess is big enough to need help that no one is allowed to help and I have stressed that if help is needed to ask for it.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Now is not to say that if said mess is big enough to need help that no one is allowed to help and I have stressed that if help is needed to ask for it.

A rather unnerving thought, given the current topic.

 

[McBell]

A rather unnerving thought, given the current topic.

Not really.
If they do not know how to use the washing machine....

 

[Amechania]

If it was my daughter I would get up from the floor and say "Well, if you want a vibrator you'll have to get a paper route because mine are all spoken for." If it was my son I'd just stay on the floor until someone called 911.

 

[Jainarayan]

Shut the door when you do it and clean up.

This.

I accidentally walked in on my stepson one day, who was about 18 at the time. My house is so small (two bedrooms, no den) that the computer is in my bedroom. He was certainly allowed to use the computer for homework, surfing, and well...

We have wall to wall carpeting and I was barefoot, and he was so into his thing (no pun intended) he wouldn't have heard me. I started to walk into the bedroom to get something, put something away or whatever. What did I see... ? Yep, a porn screen and him doing the right knuckle shuffle (which is strange because he's a leftie :biglaugh: ).

I stopped dead in my tracks, slowly and quietly backed out of the room and gave him his privacy. Twisted as this may sound, I actually smiled and kind of laughed to myself. He was, after all, a grown man doing what he felt was perfectly natural in his home. Even if he knew I was there, he knew I feel it's perfectly natural. It may have stemmed from when he broke up with his girlfriend and whined about it I'd say "oh for **** sakes! You got a hand, stop whining and use it!"

 

[Valjean]

I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would go to their parents with such a question.

 

[Uberpod]

"Just clean up after yourself" seems like very petty and cold parenting. What about a discussion about the various cultural meanings about it, the possible dangers of excess, and the benefits of knowing how your body works (ie, communication with future partners), etc ?

 

[Jainarayan]

not all things are harmless fun.

I can think of worse things than cracking one off privately.

 

[Jainarayan]

yes, pretty much.

Its a self-gratifying activity and it messes around with the bodies hormones....it will only lead to sexual immorality and selfish desires. And when you begin a relationship with that as your foundation, it will not be helpful or beneficial to you or your future partner.

Sources?

 

[Jainarayan]

You could say the same thing about ice cream

Yes, that darn insulin spike from all that sugar in the ice cream. Insulin is a really bad hormone to mess with. Not to mention the flood of serotonin in the brain.

Must... not... eat... ice... cream... must... re... sist.

 

[Jainarayan]

do you know the health ramifications? does anyone really know the health ramifications???

How do you know that masturbation isnt the cause of prostate cancer. Masturbation does stimulate hormones. Hormones that get out of balance do cause other problems.

There are studies showing that masturbation can actually lessen the chances of prostate cancer. Please describe how hormones can get out of balance from masturbation but not sexual intercourse.

 

[Jainarayan]

eating icecream doesnt cultivate attitudes that will affect your partner.

The attitude cultivated through self gratification is selfishness to the degree that your own pleasure is the first pursuit. And unfortunately that just doenst make for a wholesome relationship

 

[Gjallarhorn]

I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would go to their parents with such a question.

Too much honesty and too much fear, I'd imagine.

 

[Jainarayan]

Now is not to say that if said mess is big enough to need help that no one is allowed to help and I have stressed that if help is needed to ask for it.

Are you raising elephants!? A tablespoon is about... well, nevermind. If I go there I may not come back. :run:

 

[Amechania]

Lovin' Spoonful...LOL...I just got that!

 

[McBell]

Are you raising elephants!? A tablespoon is about... well, nevermind. If I go there I may not come back. :run:

What makes you think that the only mess they would ever need help with cleaning is from masturbating?

 

[Koldo]

"Just clean up after yourself" seems like very petty and cold parenting.

Actually, it is just rather succinct. And likely overall better, since talking about this subject may be rather awkward.

What about a discussion about the various cultural meanings about it, the possible dangers of excess, and the benefits of knowing how your body works (ie, communication with future partners), etc ?

They have the internetz if they are interested in researching about that.

 

[McBell]

"Just clean up after yourself" seems like very petty and cold parenting. What about a discussion about the various cultural meanings about it, the possible dangers of excess, and the benefits of knowing how your body works (ie, communication with future partners), etc ?

If they are interested in such tangents while masturbating...

Of course, i am not looking at the topic as though it is an issue that needs a college course to address.

 

[Jainarayan]

What makes you think that the only mess they would ever need help with cleaning is from masturbating?

Only because the theme of the thread is masturbation.