Young people and masturbation

[MysticSang'ha]

Your 11-13 year-old child asks you if it's alright if they masturbate. What would your answer be?

Why?

My kids never asked me if it was okay. It would become apparent in one way or another. Husband and I never made a big deal out of it since the kids have always been discreet about it.

And, in my opinion, masturbation isn't something to worry about. They've known what it is for quite some time since I'm very frank about sex and sexuality and letting them know their bodies are not dirty, horrible, shameful, etc., but that they must be clear with themselves and others what their boundaries are in regards to anything intimate.

The only parental guidance I've stated regarding masturbation is 1) don't do it in public, and 2) don't let it become a priority over school (at the ages 11-13). But in the privacy of their own bedrooms, in their free time, masturbation is harmless at worst and beneficial at best.

At that age, too, it's certainly good to understand and explore at their own time, and knowing what are their own bodies' likes, dislikes, and "absolutely not" areas. Hence, I fully support a young pre-teens or teens decision to privately play and leave them alone / give them space and freedom. I think it's an effective and healthy way of discovering ones own personal sexual boundaries.....and in so doing, will be in a head start in communicating desires and boundaries to future partners.

 

[Me Myself]

they might think it feels good to punch someone they dislike in the face too.... hence, just because it feels good doesnt mean it should be done.



well it will lead the to want to have sexual relations. Do you want a sexually active 11year old? And then there are the consequences they are not prepared to handle if they do.

there are so many reasons to discourage them....teach them self control instead

Any sources for all of this assumptions f yours?

Again you have not explained how using pillows (we do it because we like how it feels) will make us punch other people in the face.

We do A LOT of things cause we like how they feel. That doesnt mean we will do anything as ling as we like how it feels. Thats a complletely ridiculous assumption.

 

[Skwim]

do you know the health ramifications? does anyone really know the health ramifications???

How do you know that masturbation isnt the cause of prostate cancer. Masturbation does stimulate hormones. Hormones that get out of balance do cause other problems.

"Are There Any Risks with Masturbation?

There are no health risks with masturbation. Skin irritation is possible, but using plenty of lubrication will keep that from happening.

If you worry that you masturbate too much, ask yourself this question: Does masturbation interfere with my daily functioning? If it interrupts or gets in the way of your job, your responsibilities, or your social life, you may want to talk with a therapist.

Masturbation and Shame
Many people feel shame or guilt about masturbating. People who receive negative messages about masturbation when they are young often carry feelings of shame into adulthood. Approximately 50 percent of women and 50 percent of men who masturbate feel guilty about it.

Negative feelings about masturbation can threaten our health and well-being. Only you can decide what is healthy and right for you. But if you feel ashamed or guilty about masturbating, talking with a trusted friend, sexuality educator, counselor, and/or clergy member may help."

What Are Some Common Myths About Masturbation?

There are many myths about masturbation. You might have heard it is harmful or leads to strange behavior. The myths are just not true. Here are the facts:
Masturbation

• does NOT cause hair to grow on the palms of hands or other strange places
• does NOT lead to blindness
• does NOT make sex organs shrink or grow or change color, texture, or appearance
• does NOT stunt growth
• does NOT cause infertility — men and boys will not run out of sperm
• is NOT addictive
• does NOT cause injury or harm
• does NOT lead to mental illness or instability
• does NOT make you gay
• Source: Masturbation, an overview

More on masturbation
​

 

[Skwim]

I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would go to their parents with such a question.

They are growing up in an open and honest home where sex isn't a taboo topic.

 

[Me Myself]

They are growing up in an open and honest home where sex isn't a taboo topic.

Or they lack google

 

[Me Myself]

"Are There Any Risks with Masturbation?

There are no health risks with masturbation. Skin irritation is possible, but using plenty of lubrication will keep that from happening.

If you worry that you masturbate too much, ask yourself this question: Does masturbation interfere with my daily functioning? If it interrupts or gets in the way of your job, your responsibilities, or your social life, you may want to talk with a therapist.

Masturbation and Shame
Many people feel shame or guilt about masturbating. People who receive negative messages about masturbation when they are young often carry feelings of shame into adulthood. Approximately 50 percent of women and 50 percent of men who masturbate feel guilty about it.

Negative feelings about masturbation can threaten our health and well-being. Only you can decide what is healthy and right for you. But if you feel ashamed or guilty about masturbating, talking with a trusted friend, sexuality educator, counselor, and/or clergy member may help."

What Are Some Common Myths About Masturbation?

There are many myths about masturbation. You might have heard it is harmful or leads to strange behavior. The myths are just not true. Here are the facts:
Masturbation

• does NOT cause hair to grow on the palms of hands or other strange places
• does NOT lead to blindness
• does NOT make sex organs shrink or grow or change color, texture, or appearance
• does NOT stunt growth
• does NOT cause infertility — men and boys will not run out of sperm
• is NOT addictive
• does NOT cause injury or harm
• does NOT lead to mental illness or instability
• does NOT make you gay
• Source: Masturbation, an overview

More on masturbation
​

So, in summary, masturbation is not bad towards health, but shaming someone for masturbating is?

Makes sense to me.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I would be disturbed and say, "Go for it, but please, for the sake of me, make sure I'm ignorant that you're doing it"

If I knew that a child of mine or relative in general is jacking off at this moment, I would feel uncomfortable with this knowledge.

 

[Riverwolf]

Your 11-13 year-old child asks you if it's alright if they masturbate. What would your answer be?

Why?

I'd say absolutely, because trying to suppress that urge could lead to severe psychological damage, and in the case of males, masturbation can actually help prevent wet dreams.

 

[oldbadger]

What do you think of this then? It comes from a christian web site, I assume. If this is not wicked manipulation of Yeshua's words, I don't know what is:-


Did Jesus forbid masturbation in the Gospel of Matthew?

Some Christian theologians reason that

bullet Masturbation usually involves sexual fantasy

bullet According to Matthew 5:27-28, Yeshua of Nazareth (Jesus Christ) stated that sexual fantasy equals adultery .

bullet Adultery is a very serious sin.

{5:27} Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: {5:28} But I say unto you,
That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. {5:29}

 

[Me Myself]

What do you think of this then? It comes from a christian web site, I assume. If this is not wicked manipulation of Yeshua's words, I don't know what is:-


Did Jesus forbid masturbation in the Gospel of Matthew?

Some Christian theologians reason that

bullet Masturbation usually involves sexual fantasy

bullet According to Matthew 5:27-28, Yeshua of Nazareth (Jesus Christ) stated that sexual fantasy equals adultery .

bullet Adultery is a very serious sin.

{5:27} Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: {5:28} But I say unto you,
That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. {5:29}

Trust me, the fastest way to end lustful thoughts and emotions is to masturbate.

As most if not all males will tell you from experience (you have noticed this to yes? )

 

[Pegg]

Trust me, the fastest way to end lustful thoughts and emotions is to masturbate.

what usually happens when you water a plant? Does it not grow larger?


Do you really believe that masturbation will decrease a persons appetite for it?

 

[savagewind]

what usually happens when you water a plant? Does it not grow larger?


Do you really believe that masturbation will decrease a persons appetite for it?

Masterbation will decrease a person's appetite for sex with another person. I never understood why The Watchtower teaches it will cause fornication with another. I think it would prevent it, wouldn't it?

 

[savagewind]

As I understand it masterbation is one way to respond to a real sexual urge. I think the urge cannot be made to appear, but comes naturally. (pun not intended) The person can respond to it with masterbation or with sex. It is also possible to let the urge pass (I guess), but that is not an easy thing to do.

edit: OK it can be made to appear, but what about the urge that appears out of nowhere?

 

[McBell]

what usually happens when you water a plant? Does it not grow larger?

Does your choir really fall for this really bad analogy?
Seriously?

Do you really believe that masturbation will decrease a persons appetite for it?

In some cases, yes.
In some cases, no.

I prefer it was dealt with on a case by case basis and not with some outdated ridiculous blanket clause.

 

[nazz]

Do you know the health ramifications?

I d love to see your sources on that.

I am sure they are existent, scientific, serious and not religiously motivated to twist the truth in absolutely any way possible.

I've heard from a reliable source it leads to ice cream eating.

 

[Vinayaka]

Suppose you're a businessman, and you're on a two week assignment out of town without your wife. After a week or so your hormones sort of get restless, and your concentration in meetings is affected, to the degree that it's quite noticeable. (You're edgy, you get a spontaneous ___ etc.) Now, because you're happily married, this flow is pretty regular. Ethically, you'd kind of like to wait for a wet dream to just happen, but it doesn't. You've also had no particular training in how to be celibate for two weeks. In your youth you didn't spend 6 years in a monastery practicing the fine art of self control.

Well, you have some choices:
a) hire a hooker
b) try seducing a colleague
c) ignore it and seriously risk losing your job for not doing it right
d) take a shower and uhh... you know

 

[oldbadger]

Trust me, the fastest way to end lustful thoughts and emotions is to masturbate.

As most if not all males will tell you from experience (you have noticed this to yes? )

ha ha! I am lucky. I really fancy my wife. Very sexy lady. So.....

 

[Father Heathen]

I think I would trust educated health care professionals over some arbitrary, irrational, and unsubstantiated religious nonsense. It's repressing libido that causes health issues. It's sad that people would harm their own children by making them think something that's actually healthy and natural is instead dirty and shameful.

 

[psychoslice]

Masturbation is healthy in the way that it lets one explore their bodies, young people should be able to do this without adults judging through their own instabilities, too many have made their children grow up with all sorts of psychological problems, yea just stay out of their way.

 

[Uberpod]

Defecation is another vile and filthy behavior we must all stop!!