Young people and masturbation

[Smart_Guy]

Hi there.

I don't have kids, not married actually, so I don't really know if I'm gonna talk to them about it for a fact.

I however am old enough to have kids so my mentality is ready to think about it constructively (I'm 31). And I was a teacher - for one semester.

And I can't believe I managed to recall such a complicated word as "constructively" being an Arab ha ha.

Soooo, I would tell them the bad side effects appropriately in a calm attitude making big deal out of it with out scaring them. I wouldn't forbid them, but would really recommend them not to. If I'm up to it, I would find other ways to make them not stay alone in their rooms for long, like registering in gyms or freeing my self to stay with them more.

Dunno if I'm really gonna do it like this, but I believe it is the right way.

 

[Koldo]

Soooo, I would tell them the bad side effects appropriately in a calm attitude making big deal out of it with out scaring them.

What bad side effects?

I wouldn't forbid them, but would really recommend them not to. If I'm up to it, I would find other ways to make them not stay alone in their rooms for long, like registering in gyms or freeing my self to stay with them more.

Dunno if I'm really gonna do it like this, but I believe it is the right way.

Don't you have locks on your bathroom doors?

 

[Smart_Guy]

What bad side effects?

Bad side effects like fatigue, addiction that leads to other bad things like solitude or excessive masturbation that leads to prostate inflammation. There is also lose of erection and premature ejaculation. Not to mention lose of libido, sex drive and interest in natural intercourse. What else is there...

Hm, so much advanced terminologies. My head hurts

Don't you have locks on your bathroom doors?

We do

 

[McBell]

Bad side effects like fatigue, addiction that leads to other bad things like solitude or excessive masturbation that leads to prostate inflammation. There is also lose of erection and premature ejaculation. Not to mention lose of libido, sex drive and interest in natural intercourse. What else is there...

Hm, so much advanced terminologies. My head hurts



We do

Source please.

 

[Koldo]

Bad side effects like fatigue,

Fatigue? Like as a result of doing a physical activity? Or, as in getting tired without doing anything at all?

addiction that leads to other bad things like solitude or excessive masturbation that leads to prostate inflammation.

Is there an increased risk of addiction compared to other things though?

There is also lose of erection and premature ejaculation. Not to mention lose of libido, sex drive and interest in natural intercourse. What else is there...

I would like to see your sources for these.

 

[Me Myself]

I too would like to see scientific statistical sources.

What I ve seen says it is either harmless or healthy.

 

[roger1440]

well there are better ways to fulfill sexual desire...the bible encourages young people in such a situation to marry. Sexuality and its desire is filled through marriage with a loving partner.

Are there any Biblical verses that are in agreement with the Jehovah witnesses view on masturbation? If so which one or ones?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Bad side effects like fatigue, addiction that leads to other bad things like solitude or excessive masturbation that leads to prostate inflammation. There is also lose of erection and premature ejaculation. Not to mention lose of libido, sex drive and interest in natural intercourse. What else is there...

There's no medical evidence for masturbation causing any of those things.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

There's no medical evidence for masturbation causing any of those things.

Why am I suddenly sure that Sunstone is going to volunteer to undertake extensive 'scientific' research on our behalf?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Why am I suddenly sure that Sunstone is going to volunteer to undertake extensive 'scientific' research on our behalf?

It would have to be documented by a team of experts. Video documentation would be best.

 

[Sunstone]

Why am I suddenly sure that Sunstone is going to volunteer to undertake extensive 'scientific' research on our behalf?

How on earth did you know that I was just now in the process of preparing my application for grant money to fund the research?

 

[Uberpod]

How on earth did you know that I was just now in the process of preparing my application for grant money to fund the research?

I've never heard that euphemism before. :flirt:

 

[StarryNightshade]

Your 11-13 year-old child asks you if it's alright if they masturbate. What would your answer be?

Why?

It's a natural part of development and most people do it.

Just make sure your door is closed/locked and try to clean up afterwards.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

How on earth did you know that I was just now in the process of preparing my application for grant money to fund the research?

Call it 'a secret webcam'.

Oooops. No...I mean a 'hunch'. It was a 'hunch'. No webcams. No sirree. Not me.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Hello again.

I'll be honest with you guys. I know it is embarrassing to say it, but if it is for the greater good I'm welling to take the risk as long as you take me seriously.

I'm ~30 years old and am addicted to this abomination (cool word, huh). Just a couple of years ago I was completely convinced that it was completely fine and healthy and now I regret it. My life became miserable that I always think about it when I feel my body is ready for it, and even if it is not sometimes. I apologize from invitations, run away from the family, have back pain walking for just 10-15 minutes, ignore many important things prioritizing this thing over them, lose physical readiness to do it while my interest keeps pushing me to do then I do it and feel nothing, pre-cum come for the slightest thought, experience heavy fatigue for the rest of the next day that I feel I wanna sleep all of it...

I'm really sorry for not providing scientific sources. I used my own case as a living example. Now I know my case may not apply to everyone, but if it happens to some one, it could happen to any one. I'm not willing to risk my future children's health and psychological lives. Again, I say I only recommend not to do it. I'll be clear to them that it is their own choice in the end and to take full responsibility for it.

I started it like when I was 16 years old. Effects only started to show up lately.

Don't get me wrong, it feels really good and I like it. But one has to be aware of things even if they like it.

But I guess over doing it because of addiction is the problem, so please ignore my assumption should it seem invalid.

Sorry for not quoting all of your questions guys cuz the demand is too much for me to handle

Note: I'm using "guys" to cover all genders. Just got used to it nothing else.

 

[Me Myself]

Hello again.

I'll be honest with you guys. I know it is embarrassing to say it, but if it is for the greater good I'm welling to take the risk as long as you take me seriously.

I'm ~30 years old and am addicted to this abomination (cool word, huh). Just a couple of years ago I was completely convinced that it was completely fine and healthy and now I regret it. My life became miserable that I always think about it when I feel my body is ready for it, and even if it is not sometimes. I apologize from invitations, run away from the family, have back pain walking for just 10-15 minutes, ignore many important things prioritizing this thing over them, lose physical readiness to do it while my interest keeps pushing me to do then I do it and feel nothing, pre-cum come for the slightest thought, experience heavy fatigue for the rest of the next day that I feel I wanna sleep all of it...

I'm really sorry for not providing scientific sources. I used my own case as a living example. Now I know my case may not apply to everyone, but if it happens to some one, it could happen to any one. I'm not willing to risk my future children's health and psychological lives. Again, I say I only recommend not to do it. I'll be clear to them that it is their own choice in the end and to take full responsibility for it.

I started it like when I was 16 years old. Effects only started to show up lately.

Don't get me wrong, it feels really good and I like it. But one has to be aware of things even if they like it.

But I guess over doing it because of addiction is the problem, so please ignore my assumption should it seem invalid.

Sorry for not quoting all of your questions guys cuz the demand is too much for me to handle

Note: I'm using "guys" to cover all genders. Just got used to it nothing else.

Indeed, addiction is the problem. You can get afdicted to anything really.

Even your job, which can be very bad for family for example.

About "if it happens to someone it could happen to anyone" that is just directly blatantly false.

If you believe telling your kids masturbation is wrong will prevent them from the evils of addiction, thats like saying using a helmet is dangerous because someone, sometime put it so tight he effed up s circulation to his head.

The reality is that a healthy attitude towarss masturbation with á mindset of practicallity and balance will be thesafest bet for promoting a mindset about masturbation that will do your kids good.

Thats just it.

 

[Smart_Guy]

please note that having an argument should not ruin friendliness.

Indeed, addiction is the problem. You can get afdicted to anything really.

Even your job, which can be very bad for family for example.

Addiction to other things, like a job, mostly can be treated faster and without problems relatively and compared to addiction to something like the subject practice, which is related to a human instinct that affects the body and mind (I mean the masturbation not the instinct) not just any external practice. It is like you're saying addiction to drugs is okay.

A job can be bad for the family, but masturbation can be even worse.

About "if it happens to someone it could happen to anyone" that is just directly blatantly false.

Forgive me for my English because it is not my mother tongue.

But, I believe "could' means that it is just possible to happen not that it will happen for sure.

And also I'm human and so "anyone" is human as well. I don't think something can happen to me exclusively among all billions of people that would never at least happen to one of them.

If you believe telling your kids masturbation is wrong will prevent them from the evils of addiction, thats like saying using a helmet is dangerous because someone, sometime put it so tight he effed up s circulation to his head.

No one can prevent everything, but they can choose to be good parents and advise their children on things they see wrong.

The reality is that a healthy attitude towarss masturbation with á mindset of practicallity and balance will be thesafest bet for promoting a mindset about masturbation that will do your kids good.

I guess this is what caused the argument. You seem to be fine with it because the subject practice is not harmful just by definition (I'd completely agree with you there), and I see it bad because of the possible unwanted effects I see and experienced personally. But still, I'm not sure if all and everyone can balance practicing this act.

Just my thoughts.

 

[savagewind]

please note that having an argument should not ruin friendliness.

Addiction to other things, like a job, mostly can be treated faster and without problems relatively and compared to addiction to something like the subject practice, which is related to a human instinct that affects the body and mind (I mean the masturbation not the instinct) not just any external practice. It is like you're saying addiction to drugs is okay.

Forgive me for my English because it is not my mother tongue.

But, I believe "could' means that it is just possible to happen not that it will happen for sure.

And also I'm human and so "anyone" is human as well. I don't think something can happen to me exclusively among all billions of people that would never at least happen to one of them.

No one can prevent everything, but they can choose to be good parents and advise their children on things they see wrong.

I guess this is what caused the argument. You seem to be fine with it because the subject practice is not harmful just by definition (I'd completely agree with you there), and I see it bad because of the possible unwanted effects I see and experienced personally. But still, I'm not sure if all and everyone can balance practicing this act.

Just my thoughts.

You have made a good argument and I agree with you but it is possible that masturbation is not causing your problems but is in response to them. If it is true, then it is important for you to find the real cause for these:

My life became miserable that I always think about it when I feel my body is ready for it, and even if it is not sometimes. I apologize from invitations, run away from the family, have back pain walking for just 10-15 minutes, ignore many important things prioritizing this thing over them, lose physical readiness to do it while my interest keeps pushing me to do then I do it and feel nothing, pre-cum come for the slightest thought, experience heavy fatigue for the rest of the next day that I feel I wanna sleep all of it.

It seems to me that the masturbation might be the medicine you are using for some pain or trouble you are experiencing. It is your medicine that you are abusing, perhaps.

In other words it is not causing those things but is what you are doing to respond favorably to those things.

Your English is fine. I have enjoyed reading your posts. And your courage is exceptional. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Badran]

You seem to be fine with it because the subject practice is not harmful just by definition (I'd completely agree with you there), and I see it bad because of the possible unwanted effects I see and experienced personally. But still, I'm not sure if all and everyone can balance practicing this act.

Just my thoughts.

Emphasis mine.

That's the part i would focus my advise on, if i was you. To tell them not to get addicted to it. Suggesting they don't do it period is hardly a reasonable response, in my view. For more than one reason.

For starters, chances are (and there's no escaping this probability) that they will do it anyway, regardless of what you say. The sweeping majority of people do it, with varying frequency levels. Then, there's actually the fact that as been pointed out, there really are no demonstrable negative effects which can be shown to masturbating.

I understand that your personal experience has been negative with it, but besides the fact that you were heavily addicted to it (which isn't necessarily at all what's going to happen to your hypothetical kids), like Savagewind said, i think you might've associated to masturbation more than there actually is, and have mistook a habit and an addiction you have developed for the root cause of many of your problems.

Many things carry the potential for being addictive, and in your personal case, it might be more beneficial to you to avoid them altogether (though i doubt it), but i don't think it's reasonable to generalize and project that onto your kids, too.

 

[Badran]

Hello again.

I'll be honest with you guys. I know it is embarrassing to say it, but if it is for the greater good I'm welling to take the risk as long as you take me seriously.

I'm ~30 years old and am addicted to this abomination (cool word, huh). Just a couple of years ago I was completely convinced that it was completely fine and healthy and now I regret it. My life became miserable that I always think about it when I feel my body is ready for it, and even if it is not sometimes. I apologize from invitations, run away from the family, have back pain walking for just 10-15 minutes, ignore many important things prioritizing this thing over them, lose physical readiness to do it while my interest keeps pushing me to do then I do it and feel nothing, pre-cum come for the slightest thought, experience heavy fatigue for the rest of the next day that I feel I wanna sleep all of it...

I'm really sorry for not providing scientific sources. I used my own case as a living example. Now I know my case may not apply to everyone, but if it happens to some one, it could happen to any one. I'm not willing to risk my future children's health and psychological lives. Again, I say I only recommend not to do it. I'll be clear to them that it is their own choice in the end and to take full responsibility for it.

I started it like when I was 16 years old. Effects only started to show up lately.

Don't get me wrong, it feels really good and I like it. But one has to be aware of things even if they like it.

There's nothing you should be embarrassed about. You're 30 years old, not married, so it's not only natural you'd masturbate, it would be crazy if you didn't. What else are you gonna do?

Seriously, i'm 25 and i've been masturbating for the last 10 years or so (a lot), and my situation is kind of the inverse of yours. At first i thought it was bad (harmful, wrong etc.), and i felt guilty about it almost every time i did it.

Later on, when i was consistently unable to find any demonstrable negative effects of any kind to this very pleasurable habit which i do on my own without any harm done to anyone (and i really tried to find any - there just wasn't), i decided that there simply is nothing wrong with it, and started to properly enjoy it.

I really doubt that masturbation is the problem in your life (or one of the main ones), though of course that is just a guess. At least, if i was you i'd try to make sure i'm not misinterpreting the situation. You might be depressed, for example, generally. This could account for some of the things you mentioned, rather than it being just you masturbating too much.