The Transcended Omniverse
Well-Known Member
I have lived with depression and anhedonia for quite some time now. Many people would tell me that my life can still have joy, inspiration, and meaning even while depressed and anhedonic. But I have tried and tried to no avail. It is utter nonsense to me for anyone to say that because living like that is nothing more than living like a lifeless statue set in motion doing my hobbies and living my life. That is no way to live and that is no way to do my hobbies. There is literally no joy, meaning, inspiration, happiness, etc. in such a way of life and I have absolutely no idea what these people are talking about. I tried everything I possibly could with my life to make it worth living and to bring it joy, but nothing works.
Even though I am typing this out and even though you might say something to me such as that typing this out is making my life worth living, it is not. There is a big difference between just doing something like a lifeless statue set in motion as opposed to something actually making your life worth living and bringing your life joy, inspiration, happiness, etc. Therefore, typing this out and doing anything else in my life does not make my life worth living. I need my happiness, motivation, inspiration, and joy back to me to make everything in my life worth living again. I realize that there are unpleasant feelings of motivation such as fear, but those types of motivation do not bring my life any joy, happiness, or meaning either.
I have honestly concluded from all these years of personal experience with depression and anhedonia that there is no other form of happiness, joy, inspiration, and meaning for me. My non-depressed and non-anhedonic state of happiness and enjoyment is truly the only thing that can ever bring my life joy, happiness, and meaning. So how can anyone blame me for that and how can anyone call me names such as selfish, cowardly, childish, etc.? Everyone's experiences are different and, for some people, their happiness and enjoyment is the only experience that can ever make their lives worth living regardless of how selfish or selfless they are. It just all comes down to the fact that everyone's brains and experiences are different.
This is my final note to everyone here. I am officially done with life. I am not going to bother anymore.
Even though I am typing this out and even though you might say something to me such as that typing this out is making my life worth living, it is not. There is a big difference between just doing something like a lifeless statue set in motion as opposed to something actually making your life worth living and bringing your life joy, inspiration, happiness, etc. Therefore, typing this out and doing anything else in my life does not make my life worth living. I need my happiness, motivation, inspiration, and joy back to me to make everything in my life worth living again. I realize that there are unpleasant feelings of motivation such as fear, but those types of motivation do not bring my life any joy, happiness, or meaning either.
I have honestly concluded from all these years of personal experience with depression and anhedonia that there is no other form of happiness, joy, inspiration, and meaning for me. My non-depressed and non-anhedonic state of happiness and enjoyment is truly the only thing that can ever bring my life joy, happiness, and meaning. So how can anyone blame me for that and how can anyone call me names such as selfish, cowardly, childish, etc.? Everyone's experiences are different and, for some people, their happiness and enjoyment is the only experience that can ever make their lives worth living regardless of how selfish or selfless they are. It just all comes down to the fact that everyone's brains and experiences are different.
This is my final note to everyone here. I am officially done with life. I am not going to bother anymore.
