Zen Jokes

[crossfire]

I found this page on thezensite. It's good for a few chuckles.

http://www.thezensite.com/ZenEssays/Miscellaneous/Zen_Jokes.html

 

[DreadFish]

That picture of Lin Chi looks like Bukowski! I knew he was a zen master.

The comparison is obvious!

 

[DreadFish]

This one is my favorite:

Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three - one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change-and not-change it.

 

[Ablaze]

Adapted from the Mu Koan.

Does a cow have Buddha nature?

 

[Ablaze]

Adapted from Seung Sahn's Twelve Gates koan series.

Mouse eats cat food. Cat bowl is broken. Then what?

Spoiler: ...Catchup to the here and now for a tasty, mindful meal...

 

[Ablaze]

Adapted from Nansen Kills a Cat.

Once the monks of the Eastern Hall and the Western Hall were disputing about a cat. Nansen, holding up the cat, said, "Monks, if you can say a word of Zen, I will spare the cat. If you cannot, I will kill it!" No monk could answer. Nansen finally killed the cat. In the evening, when Joshu came back, Nansen told him of the incident. Joshu took off his sandal, put it on his head, and walked off. Nansen said, "If you had been there, I could have saved the cat!"

How does the non-dual manifest in the dual? Cut in two or cut in one?

Spoiler: ...Non-dual Siamese twin cats...

 

[Ablaze]

 

[crossfire]

Adapted from the Mu Koan.

Does a cow have Buddha nature?

LOL! My version is "Why do cows say mu?"

 

[dyanaprajna2011]

Here's a good Zen joke:












.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Great punchline, but it never truly ends.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Here's a good Zen joke:












.

Great joke, but it's a little hard to add to my SigIine!

 

[crossfire]

Here's a good Zen joke:












.

"What is the sound of no joke being spoken?" ROFL!

 

[Ablaze]

Reminds me of the sound of one hand clapping:

[youtube]V0sTyUCqAJw[/youtube]

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Reminds me of the sound of one hand clapping:

[youtube]V0sTyUCqAJw[/youtube]

Reminds ME of an old joke about surfing porn websites...
'The sound of one hand typing...'

Ahem...

 

[crossfire]

Reminds ME of an old joke about surfing porn websites...
'The sound of one hand typing...'

Ahem...

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
:slap:

 

[BSM1]

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
:slap:

It's a trick question. It's the same sound as all hands clapping.

 

[crossfire]

It's a trick question. It's the same sound as all hands clapping.

Do you prefer the sound of one hand clapping against your face, or the sound of all hands clapping against your face?
:slap:

 

[BSM1]

Do you prefer the sound of one hand clapping against your face, or the sound of all hands clapping against your face?
:slap:

Does it really make a difference after the first clap? The deed is done.

 

[crossfire]

Cats naturally have a knack for Zen:

 

[Vinayaka]

I became a tad suspicious when he told me he was on silence vows.