I am not a Romance-Drained Aegosexual

[Ella S.]

This is a post that I'd prefer to not make, because the subject of romantic feelings and sexual drives feels like glorifying the irrational. However, I personally believe that I have an obligation to correct the record in an effort to avoid contributing to ace-erasure.

I made a statement awhile back that I felt like I was somewhere on the graysexual spectrum. I found the above micro-labels and they seemed to fit. Since then, I've realized that they are not quite accurate.

 

[Soandso]

This is a post that I'd prefer to not make, because the subject of romantic feelings and sexual drives feels like glorifying the irrational. However, I personally believe that I have an obligation to correct the record in an effort to avoid contributing to ace-erasure.

I made a statement awhile back that I felt like I was somewhere on the graysexual spectrum. I found the above micro-labels and they seemed to fit. Since then, I've realized that they are not quite accurate.

The thing about the ace spectrum is that there seems to be a lot of wiggle room since it's a subject that doesn't get a lot of attention. Hell, a lot of people I've talked to about it to don't know what to think of ace folks or even think that people are lying about it. I'm demisexual myself, but I've learned to just keep my mouth shut about it unless I'm romantically involved with someone since it really doesn't effect much of anything, really

 

[Ella S.]

The thing about the ace spectrum is that there seems to be a lot of wiggle room since it's a subject that doesn't get a lot of attention. Hell, a lot of people I've talked to about it to don't know what to think of ace folks or even think that people are lying about it. I'm demisexual myself, but I've learned to just keep my mouth shut about it unless I'm romantically involved with someone since it really doesn't effect much of anything, really

How did you discover that you were demisexual rather than ace? Do you think it's possible to know through introspection rather than experience, if someone knew what to look for?

...asking for a friend.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

somewhere on the graysexual spectrum

Huh?

 

[Soandso]

How did you discover that you were demisexual rather than ace? Do you think it's possible to know through introspection rather than experience, if someone knew what to look for?

...asking for a friend.

Actually it was from my best friend. She knows me well and informed me about her suspicions, I looked into it, and it seems as though she had me pretty well pegged. Other than that, I had no idea up until that point - I don't really keep up much with the "+" in "lgbt+"

Honestly, I coulda gone my entire life without really knowing since it doesn't manifest divergently in practice than it would with any other standard relationship, but knowing does help me to understand why I feel the way I do about certain things in a better way. It's always nice to better "know thyself"

 

[Soandso]

Huh?

If asexuality is the complete absence of sexual attraction, then greysexuality is a dulled sexual attraction. Part sexual attraction, part asexual indifference. There's tons of variation within the sphere, and there can be all kinds of different ways that this manifests. For instance, I'm fairly asexual until I form a commited relationship with someone. For the most part, attraction follows love for me

 

[JustGeorge]

If asexuality is the complete absence of sexual attraction, then greysexuality is a dulled sexual attraction. Part sexual attraction, part asexual indifference. There's tons of variation within the sphere, and there can be all kinds of different ways that this manifests. For instance, I'm fairly asexual until I form a commited relationship with someone. For the most part, attraction follows love for me

That's how I am, too, typically. I didn't know there was a word for it until I came to the forums.

Friends had always just called me 'particular/picky' and 'prudish'. I wasn't much bothered by it.

 

[VoidCat]

I've decided not to label my sexuality. I thought I was ace but I no longer think that

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

If asexuality is the complete absence of sexual attraction, then greysexuality is a dulled sexual attraction.

Thank god! I thought it was some affliction targeting senior citizens, and at my age ...